GitDoun

relationship Talks Die Hard

what can i say this blog still strikes a chord with some people. but i welcome all the comments. it's interesting to hear all the opinions and different experiences....

Hey !!! what's going on?

What's up with these ancient blogs being resurrected and appeared here out of no where?

When replying, would it not be better to switch to fast speed mood. People are sky diving from the space these days... and U guys , are still using dial up connections? 

Why do i have a feeling that someone will reply to my comment here next year!!!

  LOL  

reading things that aren't there

ziba khanoom i dont know how or where you got the idea that i prefer iranian women or any woman for that matter to be a virgin. That wasn't my gripe against iranian women whatsoever. What i was against was the monumental lie of claiming to be virtuous modest chaste women when nothing could be further from the truth. What i was against was the " keeping of appearences" tactic or rather Hypocrisy that iranian women seem to relish and take much joy in. And my biggest gripe in this matter was when they do this in America !!!!!! Which truely does baffle the mind. I mean i could understand doing this in Iran or in Saudi Arabia, but in a Western Country ???!!!! It really does beg the question as to WHY !?!?!??!!?! No one likes to be lied to or deceived and that was the issue i wanted to highlight.  Anyways yah im sure there are good honest transparent iranian women out there that look at marriage as teamwork rather than the role of Queen and Servant but i couldn't find any. Anyways, my past prepared me for my fate and im very thankful to God for my fiance.  And last but not least as to your inquiry of my religion im not a religious person per say but more into spirituality.  --peace 

iranian women are better !! your loss !!!

Okay so I’m confused. Your Iranian and your marrying a Colombian ?? You complain about Iranian women and the high volume of sex partners they’ve had before marriage so what does that make your Colombian fiance ??? If you think she is a virgin then you’re an absolute idiot !!! hahaha…You come across religious in your other blogs ( muslim I assume ) but then you have a beer bottle in your other pic/blog??  Really confused here. I thought Muslims aren’t suppose to drink ? And like how is Islam going to work out with your Christian fiancé ? Not that I care but I think you should have stayed with an iranian girl. Writing off millions of your own countrywomen over a couple bad experiences is pretty stupid.  Just saaaayin.

more tolerance/mercy between non-iranian and iranian couples

I just finished reading this blog and every comment here.  I think there are some valid points especially when two from opposite races marry. I have been married to an iranian woman for 9 years (im canadian). Our marriage like most couples has had it’s share of ups and downs. Sometimes when we have big fights her parents or her iranian girlfriends would mediate and they would always tell me that “ I had it good or I had it easy compared to what she would do to her last husband.” ( he was from Shiraz) I won’t get into specifics out of respect for my wife but what I can say is from what everyone in her social circle is telling me her ex-husband got the short end of the stick a lot of the times. I don’t know if they are telling me this because my in-laws or her friends liked him more than me or if it’s all really true ?? I don’t know for certain but it seems the stuff I take for granted that I can do at home or with my wife her ex-husband would get a real lashing over if he did the same thing. So yeah do I think when two people from opposite race marry that there is more mercy and understanding ??? Most Definitely.

i agree. expectations and pressure are less

You know that was one of the first impressions I had when I met my fiancé for the first time. The pressure is less. Maybe it has to do with marrying someone outside of your race or culture. I don't know........ Or maybe because iranian culture puts such a massive emphasis on wealth and assets so that the iranian wife can gorge in Self-Promotion of the family-name. Which obviously puts a MOUNTAIN of pressure/stress on the guy to deliver. The funny thing is I always thought if there is to be any promotion of a family name it should be based on virtues, not the Jaguar parked in the driveway. i guess what I learned is that unless an iranian man is pulling $90k a year he really has no business marrying an iranian woman. It's just not viable in the long term. I mean that is what marriage is after all. It's not for 10years or 20years. It's till you die in one another's arms. And marriage with an iranian woman with her endless appetite for prestige, status, and assets is something i could never sustain with my salary. The marriage would have floundered before it even got started. And besides the financial aspect there are other things about iranian women that i won't get into. Anyways I "opt out" of iranian women a long time ago and am engaged to a terrific woman. It's the best decision i ever made !!!

non-iranian married to iranian

I m Indianand my husband is Iranian.  I don't really find any issues in terms of culture clash. We have differences but nothing major. Yes, our food is different but we eat everything. My in-laws are amazing people. I m acutally very happy I married into this Iranian family. I love my mil as much or more than I love my mum. I think it is easier being married to someone from a different culture as the expectations are not there.

iranian women are gold diggers.... for the most part

To Another Iranian Women ...... By your own admission you state you are NOT the "typical" Iranian women. TYPICAL defined as how the MAJORITY of Iranian women behave. Correct ? Therefore I am assuming that you are NOT a conniving, scandalous, gold digging, bossy, controlling, manipulative, commandeering, merciless money grubbing woman. And I whole heartedly believe you that you do not have these Typical traits of Iranian women. But finding the minority of Iranian women that do NOT have these typical characteristics is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Im 26 years old now. Its been 3 yrs since I have posted this blog and I am happy to report I've been persian-woman freeeee all this time. Im engaged to a Colombian woman that loves me for me and never have to worry about "when money runs out of the marriage so does my love for you!"         A link to another similar blog //iranian.com/main/blog/gitdoun/questions-iranian-women-18-28yrs-u-s-canada

not where you from its the environment

Dekhoda!! Great school, I was there this year..

I wanted to add to your message that Every culture has good and bad..You may be fed up with iranian-american but there are iranian-australian, iranian-chinese, iranian-japanese, iranian-UK and many more. Even within America, east and west or north and south, you may be from NY but another from Oregon, your perspective depends on the envrionment you grew up..The education, your friends, people you were surrounded by.. So this guy, first iranian wife may have been the bad luck but who knows the second one would have been better, if she was iranian..

Im iranian, born and raised in Asia, never lived in Iran..I like to consider myself iranian but Im far different with typical iranians in Iran.. But I dont restrict nationality or culture who I want to date.. Whoever you meet that is your destiny! 

iranian/non iranian relationships

i joined this site to learn more about iranian culture. i'm not persian however my significant other of 2 years is. we live together and are deeply committed to each other. Ive heard all the stories about how persian women r gold diggers from him as well as from a few non-persian but middle eastern associates. his mother adores me and the 2 of 4 sisters ive met are nice enough. it upsets me a bit when he puts his women down. its odd  from a man who otherwise is very proud of all things persian. can anyone elaborate on this.

Ive had better experience with Persian men

I am Hispanic and Ill be honest the majority of women can be loose,but that depends on their values and how they value themselves as women...Not many woman and it can be from any ethnicity values their bodies and runs around loose tryn to find love and encounters the wrong type of men. And then wonder why they are left feeling used. I am Christian and many values that have been taught to me come from God so here I am going to say that I am not a typical woman who is care free and wont respect herself.. I to wish to get married and have that desire to... Ive dated and gotten hurt... but I will be honest Ive had a better experience dating a persian rather than the americanized Hispanic boy or hispanic in general christian or not it hasnt been a good experience. These type of guys thinks that dating is jumping into bed with evey girl they encounter and no commitment and the following day they are with someone else.... The persian man I dated pursued me for a very long time untill I gave him my trust. the difficult part was when we began discousing marriege and religion and children... He was Jewish and explain what his family expected from him... he kept telling me he did not want to marry a persian woman... He told me to be patient and see what happens... I preffered him to respect his family. He did not want to let go, but eventually we had to.. He had ask me to convert to become Jewish I would have done so... I didnt mind because the Jewish realigion is already in my blood. My great great grandparents where persian jews.... Sadly not being persian (although im mistaken by because of my pretty eyes lol) prevented me from being with a good man...But again it has a lot to do on the persons values. I just wished I met either a good persian christian or jew , but u know I just wished I met a good man that can be a good husband and father... Somehow these Hispanic/White boys I meet have not made the cut they have no morals or values..

My case

I am from southamerica (Colombia). I dated an iranian once, and things really worked very well. He told me he was in love, and so did I. But, with the time, he told me that he has to look fo marrying an iranian woman. He said he did not like her, but he expressed that she will probably share his traditions and costumes. Our relationship was doing extremely well at that time, and i told him we will figure out how to manage things even if we were from different cultures. By the way we had never fight, and we really got along together. But he told me it will not work out in the future. He asked me: Why you are not iranian? You are perfect. But you are not iranian.

I got dissapointed, because he said that, and also expressed that he does not like some thing of the girl his parents want to marry. He still sayd that he loves me. But, we broke up... and now, he is engaged and will marry her soon.

So, I am really happy for the couples that got over this tabu of non iranian women. And i am happy also for the iranians that are really open to look women no matter their nationality. 

Nice Post GitDoun

Whoever said Hispanic women are gold diggers and whores and everything in between obviously has no concept of the fact that there is every kind of woman from every continent on this planet. Faithful, Honest, Lying, Cheating, Whoring, Superficial, et al. 

 However, speaking specifically of the culture, Often as hard as we try, it is difficult to continue to identify ourselves with a country we have been displaced from. Often our own cultures change over time and so do the values. I am hispanic yet american-born. My parent's country is a country where, when i visit, I feel like a foreigner, yet here in the U.S. I am considered one as well. 

I find hispanic men to be cheaters, liars, and downright lazy. Most of them like to drink way too damn much. I personally don't identify with them. Is there a good man out there from my parent's country? perhaps. But if I don't find him, I guarantee I will have a better chance of finding a man of another culture with whom i can strike a better balance. As long as you can be with someone that will adopt and understand your culture and be a good mother and father to your children, that is all that matters. There are bad people everywhere. Just keep your eyes and ears open.  

I have heard often of the trials and tribulations of Iranian women, no offense to them, and I believe that it is a result of culture. Perhaps the Iranian woman of today isn't the one of a few generations ago. Things are changing in Iran. We must recognize this. Do not actively seek a hispanic woman or an Iranian. Seek who will make you happy. However, as a general consensus. Latin America is varied and values differ from country to country. A puerto-rican is not at all like a costa-rican and so on and so forth. Please try not to generalize . It is a bit easier to observe a country Iran than it is to observe the enormous landmass of Latin-america.

He said, "Your face its like....We call it 'Mahrokh'. It means round like the moon. That is a good thing". 

Hello If was involved with a

Hello
If was involved with a persian man for a while, though very nice, we became best friends, but when I became more attached, it was clear to me that I was not good enough. I would have given him anything, but I was not good enough for his VIPs

As a child I knew of.........

When I was a child, my next door (Mexican)neighbor married an Iranian man and they had two beautiful sons. To this day they are still married. They lived in the U.S. and Iran.

Knowing of this couple, has led me to believe that Iranian men make good friends, companions and husbands.

I never saw them argue or be cruel to each other. He was a very nice man.

The love of my life

I HAVE A IRANIAN HUSBAND I AM A BLACK WOMAN I AM MIX WITH SPANISH WHITE AND BLACK... I WAS MARRIED BEFORE TO A BLACK MAN AND MY MARRIAGE WAS ONLY PAIN...MEANS NOT GOOD EVER SINCE I MET MY IRANIAN HUBBY IT WAS OMG I LIKE YOU LOL NO LIE AT FIRST WE WERE ONLY FRIENDS HE DIDN'T LIKE ME TO BE FOR NO WIFE BUT AGAIN GETTING TO KNOW ME WAS THE BEST THING FOR HIM AND MYSELF I HAVE THE BEST LOYAL HUSBAND EVER VERY CARING WE DO ARGUE BUT BEFORE WE HIT THE BED WE SOLVE IT VERY UNDERSTANDING MAN HAS GREAT VALUES FAMILY ORIENTED I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART HIS PARENTS LOVE ME SO MUCH HIS SIBLINGS ARE SO LOVELY TO ME I CAN SAY THIS TO YOU ITS NEVER A DULL MOMENT IN MY MARRIAGE. HE'S A DESCENT MAN I HAVE RESPECT WHEN I ENTER THE IRANIAN RESTAURANTS, IRANIAN STORE'S I AM WELL KNOWN PEOPLE LOOK AT US I DONT CARE I LOVE HIM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WILL DO WITHOUT HIM HE'S MY LIFE MY SOUL MY MATE FOR ETERNITY ..THANK GOD I HAVE MET MY PARTNER ...REMEMBER THEIR IS GOOD AND BAD IN EVERYONE CULTURE ...HOPE THIS HELPS EACH AND EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS THANKING YOU.....

My iranian man is the love of my life!!

Hello, i am 20 years old from England, born here, i first met my iranian man 2 years ago, he is 30 now so yes there is an age gap but i would just like to say he is the with out a doubt the most lovely man i have ever met, i have been out with many english men and to be honest my iranian man is way better than any english man i ever gone out with!, yes people are worried about going out with iranian men, and like you, i was like this to, when we first met i thought ohh crap hes from iran can i really get involved with this because of all the speculation about how iranian men are preceived. I believe all relationships have there issues regardless of where the person is from, i have never felt happier in all my life than i am now, since meeting my man, i believe iranian men are very committed to the relationship, but if your the type of girl who doesnt like a full on relationship then dont get involved with an iranian man, and i have not once been pushed into anything to do with marriage etc, and i do believe some iranian families do push this onto their children, u just have to find out this information beforehand (if u can), and sort any underlying issues out at the start like religion, going to iran,children,marriage etc, me and my partner have already agreed that i will not convert to muslim to get married to him, as i dont believe in that religion so why should i convert to it? he is very understanding about this, whereas some arent, we have also agreed that our children will have no religion, why should their religion get chosen for them at birth? they are very unlikely to change there religion if they were born into the religion, so they will be no religion but always be made aware of religion in general, and as for going back to iran we will go back to visit his family but we are not living over there, we are staying here in the uk. hope this review helps

to: Daughter of an Iranian Man / The Mrs.

your writing style gave u away. im smarter than you, younger than you, and just genetically superior to you. take your mindgames-stories and give them to your soon to be ex-husband. and come live with me in Los Angeles. i like chunky MILFs

Marrying a non-Iranian

As the daughter of an Iranian man and American woman--I have to say that my parent's marriage was HORRIBLE. My father was abusive to my mother...and a selfish father. And to Iraniandudeee, calling American women whores-maybe that's what you are, and that's who you go after. My mother was the most honest and committed woman to my father and had NEVER slept with any other man outside of their marriage. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for him!

Based on my experience, I could say it's the Iranian men who have the problem. I could say they are CONTROL FREAKS and VERY ARROGANT. I think my father wanted to marry my mother because she was a naive little blonde girl from farm country...he thought he could control her. Maybe Iranian women have become that way as a survival skill.

But really I don't think all Iranian men are like this, however I doubt I will ever date any to find out!

PS. I have lived in Latin America and if you think that women there are not gold-diggers or vain--think again!

PPS. I have some Iranian girlfriends and they are very loyal, kindhearted and EXCELLENT shopping partners.

Bye!

to TheMrs.~~~

no one has ever stolen a BF from you ? never seen thaaat happen huh ??? And your girlfriends never taken your clothes and not return it ??    oh you forgot to add that you never masturbated either!! 

btw, yah i'm a racist i spend my afternoons at an iranian bookstore across my school to have tea and pastries with other iranians because you know that's what self-hating iranians do. your so sharp! sure figured me out old woman. espaand dood konim ke cheshm nakhore. khayle zerangee. mashallah !  ...lol

GitDoun

To be honest with you its a tough question. But my own life experience, education and common sense has led me to believe that all humans share similar qualities. We all want and like the same things life. However what makes us compatible is the key. Something we all seem to struggle with. 

Trust, respect, communication, openness, similar family backgrounds, culture, education, intellect, mindset, temperment, chemistry and great sex are the key ingredients that make a marriage or relationship successful. Lack of these attributes will surely cause problems. In my humble opinion you want to be able reduce all incompatabilities and be able to minimize and manage differences, disagreements, conflicts and tension so you can concentrate on the positive and continue building a quality realtionship and safeguarding it.

If you can do that with an Iranian woman why not. Whether she is or was a slut doesnt really matter as long the above criteria is met. If you as a man are a saint then you can certainly demand to be with a saint. If as a man you been a slut then dont be pointing fingers at the woman.

Now to the asian, latin or russian women. Just by sampling my freinds, associates and the secondary group of people I know I can guesstimate that 20% of all Iranian men have married americans or latinos. Their marriages suffer from the same tribulations and are the same as others. Again it boils down to what I mentioned above.

The american male has been looking at foreign women for the last 20 years: latinos, asians, russians, ukranians, middle easterners and etc for long term marriage as their experiences told them that the american women they have met, dated, had relationships with and married were not wife material. I think you should look for reference data on these marriages and relationships to help you put things in their proper perspective.

Having said all of that, personally I think Iranian women are the best, hands down. The question is can you find the right one for you.

Yes, I can stand Iranian

Yes, I can stand Iranian womena and most of my close friends are Iranian women. No one has ever stolen a BF from me, this isn't the OC show you know. In real life, I've never even seen that happen. "Jack your clothes?" what??? American girls are never jealous of each other and in China men are never jealous of each other either....come on

You're not dillusional but in a major culture shock. And racist. It must be terrible to hate your own culture.

Can Iranian Women Stand Eachother

Generally, no. Seems there are no genuine friendships amongst Iranian women. I certainly don't trust Iranian women. They are two faced and anything you say will be used against you. So, they will say "ghorbonet beram" "fadat sham" but its all show. They're there for the good times and in bad times only to get the gossip. Who needs friends like that. My rule with Iranian women is I never tell them anything of value. My conversations are limited to "cherto-pert". I discuss my life issues and seek advice on personal matters from my American co-workers. I know they are non-judgemental and most importantly will keep it confident. With Iranians, the minute you say something controversial or juicy, they will call their other friend and say "Don't tell anyone but ____ told me blah, blah, blah."

Also, like their marriage, they always wonder what's in it for them in their friendship. Either you have to be pretty, wealthy, connected, etc... to be part of their click. Funny thing its those qualities which make them jealous of you creating spite. I guess you get the picture. It's a no win situation.

I think the problem starts with lack of confidence and the fact that the Iranian culture regards success for a gal not in being self sufficient and emotionally happy but rather how wealthy you marry. A woman could be educated, beautiful, financially independent, in love with her hubby who is not Mr. Right and her family and the Iranian society will regard her as "bad-bakht" and say "bechareh". To the contrary, if an uneducated, never bothered working gal marries a control freak doctor and drives a Mercedes she will be considered "khoshbakht".

Just

Just stop acting like such a women and do us all a favour and stop hanging with the wrong crowd. It's so obvious that you're exaggerating and fliping out because of a few isolated cases.

Come on man, Stop being so simple minded.

I myself have lived in los angeles for 2 years and now currently living in virgnia, and I have never met Iranian girls like how you try to describe them.

Again man, you're

Again man, you're exaggerating. Everything you wrote in your article is PRESENT IN AMERICAN/WESTERN CULTURE, so if you have met any "Iranian" girl like this, then they are obviously the minority of the Americanized idiots who wouldn't know Persian/Iranian culture if it hit them in the face.

...

Man carries the seed of his misery or bliss,
"hell" or "heaven", within himself.
Whatsoever happens to you, it happens because of you.

-What you think about,,, you bring about...

Hope this helps!

thank you bajenaghe naghi

khayle mamnoon hastam baraye naseyate shoma.  sepas gozaraam pedar-azziz

Another Question

forget about me for a second. let me ask iranian women in this forum something general. Can YOU women stand each other !? i bet you iranian women can not stand each other for 20min; let alone live with one another. I'm willing to bet most of your friends are males because other iranian women drive you up the wall !!! They are Neurotic and deep down you girls KNOW THIS !!! They steal your BF,  they jack your clothes, jealousy is rampant, they backbite you the second you turn your back to them and they rejoice secretly when you fall or are in pain.  How can you women be emailing me condescendingly saying i'm delusional or i'm experiencing isolated incidences or that i'm in a bad crowd when you women can't stand each other either!!!! 

thank you Motherly Advice

i LOVED your message. it was refreshing to hear from an honest iranian woman for a change. And your advice was terrific !!!!!! ****TASHAKOR MADAR !!!!!!!!

baraye Agha Hassan Askari

i guess all these posts and blogs matter for me because it's a means to Vent. as the change of plans from iranian to non-iranian is very very recent and fresh. {not distant past} And also perhaps to see if anyone else outside my circle of friends can relate or empathize with me.  because unfortunately my male friends are "kos-lis" to iranian women. they feel me and many of them have experienced the same problems but they don't have any backbone to walk away.  ......whatever their funeral.