Black Tea with Sugar

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Black Tea with Sugar
by Multiple Personality Disorder
24-May-2009
 

Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss is one of the most beautiful Beginner Books ever written.  It consists of 50 different words, all of them monosyllabic, except for “anywhere”.  It’s poetic, yet it’s a theatrical play for children. The story is told through rhyming dialogue without descriptive narrative or analysis. The play consists of two characters; Sam-I-Am and an unnamed second person.  The story is about Sam offering green eggs and ham to the second character who refuses it at first, but finally at the end agrees to give it a try, and then he finds it to be delicious.

The following is my attempt to rewrite the same play, with two characters.  Zan-I-Am (زن منم) is an Iranian woman trying to convince her newly found friend to try black tea.  He refuses at first, mindless of the art of Persian persuasion (تعارف).  At the end he drinks the tea and he is impressed by it.

These are some of the words that I’ve use to convert the story:

souse: cold cut or at room temperature luncheon meat eaten around the world with many variation in recipe.  

lox: cured salmon often eaten with cream cheese on a bagel or crackers.

phlox: a flower belonging to a family of herbs found mainly in North America.  Some species of phlox are believed to have medicinal properties.

vervain: a flower mostly found in New World, but also in some parts of the Old World.  Some species of vervain have long been used as an herbal tea.

Black Tea with Sugar

Zan-I-Am: I am zan. I am zan. Zan-I-Am

Friend: That Zan-I-Am! That Zan-I-Am! I like that Zan-I-Am!

Zan-I-Am: Do you like black tea with sugar?

Friend: I do not like it, Zan-I-Am. I do not like black tea with sugar.

Zan-I-Am: Would you like it here or there?

Friend: I would not like it here or there. I would not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Would you like it in the house? Would you like it with a souse?

Friend: I do not like it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Would you drink it with a lox? Would you drink it with a phlox?

Friend: Not with a lox. Not with a phlox. Not in the house. Not with a souse. I would not drink it here or there. I would not drink it anywhere. I would not drink black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Would you? Could you? With a cigar? Smoke it! Smoke it! Here they are.

Friend: I would not, could not, with a cigar.

Zan-I-Am: You may like it. You will see. You may like it in the pantry!

Friend: I would not, could not in the pantry. Not with a cigar! You let me be. I do not like it with a lox. I do not like it with a phlox. I do not like it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Plain! Plain! Plain! Plain! Could you, would you, drink it plain?

Friend: Not plain! Not in the pantry! Not with a cigar! zan! Let me be! I would not, could not, with a lox. I could not, would not, with a phlox. I will not drink it with a souse. I will not drink it in the house. I will not drink it here or there. I will not drink it anywhere. I do not drink black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?

Friend: I would not, could not, in the dark.

Zan-I-Am: Would you, could you, with vervain?

Friend: I would not, could not, with vervain. Not in the dark. Not plain. Not with a cigar. Not in the pantry. I do not like it, zan, you see. Not in the house. Not with a lox. Not with a souse. Not with a phlox. I will not drink it here or there. I do not like it anywhere!

Zan-I-Am: You do not like black tea with sugar?

Friend: I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: Could you, would you, with a float?

Friend: I would not, could not, with a float!

Zan-I-Am: Would you, could you, with Honey Oat?

Friend: I could not, would not, with Honey Oat. I will not, will not, with a float. I will not drink it with vervain. I will not drink it plain. Not in the dark! Not in the pantry! Not with a cigar! You let me be! I do not like it with a lox. I do not like it with a phlox. I will not drink it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere! I do not like black tea with sugar! I do not like it plain, Zan-I-Am.

Zan-I-Am: You do not like it. So you say. Try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may, I say.

Friend: zan! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see.

(Friend drinks the black tea with sugar)

Friend: Say! I like black tea with sugar! I do! I like it, Zan-I-Am! And I would drink it with Honey Oat. And I would drink it with a float…and I will drink it with vervain. And in the dark. And plain. And with a cigar. And in the pantry. They are so good, so good, you see! So I will drink it with a lox. And I will drink it with a phlox. And I will drink it in the house. And I will drink it with a souse. And I will drink it here and there. Say! I will drink it anywhere! I do so like black tea with sugar! Thank you! Thank you, Zan-I-Am!

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Sharareh Golshani

MPD jaan

by Sharareh Golshani on

Aaaaaallllllliiiiiiiii bood :0)  gotta love the way your brain works...too cool.  Thanks MPD for a great read.

شراره

 

 


bajenaghe naghi

multiple personality disorder jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

this was so good that i am thinking of making another baby just to be able to  read your version to him!

now i am waiting for your rendition of the cat in the hat, which should be really fun.

 


persian westender

Isn’t the Friend’s

by persian westender on

Isn’t the Friend’s statement at the end, also a hypocrite compliment?Mine is not!: 

Say! I liked your blog MPD...and I would read it with  a cup of tea in my hand , and I would drink it with ghand... But not with cigar. But  maybe with  2 spoons of sugar.... I will read it when I am ‘sar e kar’ Thank you MPD!

 

 


Monda

MPD, you're welcome

by Monda on

I loved your Dr. Seuss adaptation! You are becoming more creative by the month it seems, keep it up man!

Hey have you ever thought about converting Grimm fairy tales into Persian?

 


Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez

Lovey MPD

by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on

Dr Seuss "Green Eggs with Ham

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy7J578FLaA


Anahid Hojjati

Great job MPD, This is so musical when you read it aloud

by Anahid Hojjati on

Dear MPD, I read many of DR. Seuss' books to my daughter when she was very young.  What I liked about them the most, was the perfect musicality of the books and here you have done the same.  However, the musicality in your story can not be appreciated well until one reads it aloud as if they are reading it to their kids.  That is what I did second time I read your story and I liked it a lot more since I realized how musical it was. Everything rhymed together perfectly.  Great job.


Princess

Original

by Princess on

I second the other comments. I really enjoyed reading this one. It also reminded me of a personal experience:

A few years ago, I travelled to Iran and for the first time visited a village somewhere in Azaerbaijan. As is well known, the villagers were extremely friendly and hospitable. I was invited into a house for some tea. As I was trying to communicate with the villagers with my very rudimentary Turkish, the tea kept coming. As soon as I finished one glass, the next one would arrive. The daughter of the family kept going around with a tray offering tea and sugar cubes to everyone and they would pick up a glass and a couple of sugar cubes.

Now, I am not much of a tea drinker, but when I do drink, I never take sugar with it - just don't like sweet drinks. So every time the tea tray passed by, I would pick up a glass and politely decline the sugar, and EVERY TIME, the whole family would break into a clamor insisting that I should try my tea with sugar, saying "Try it, you will love it!"

It was hilarious. They actually thought I must've never tasted sugar in my life. After all, who in their right mind would not like sugar? 

I never forget that experience. To this day it makes me smile every time I think about it. This piece brought both the experience and the smile back. Thank you.

And may I have my black tea with no sugar, please? :)


desideratum.anthropomorphized anonymous000

Dear MPD

by desideratum.anthropomorph... on

Honesty at the cost of crude bluntless : I either truely admire your originality in some pieces or prefer to think it couldn't have been written by the same person in some others. This one, is the prime example of your originality (as confirmed by another comentator as well.  Thank you for a great read!

In style, it took me to my memories of the great Persian folkloric bed-time story of the chain of dependence in the nature from 'gonjeshk' to 'kooh' to 'khorshid' and 'abr' (symbolically heaven) and then God, and similarly, of 'gandom gole gandom'...

 

 

 


Azarin Sadegh

LOVE it!

by Azarin Sadegh on

I don't know how many times I've read this book to my both kids! Every night...for a year or two!

No wonder I loved so much your piece! I even felt th eurge of going and kissing them both, while they're sleeping (it's really late now!)...

Thank you dear MPD! Your writing is getting better and better...you're one of the most original ones on Iranian.com...one of the best!

Azarin 

PS: plus, I'm Tork ...so I would drink the Black tea with sugar here and there...I'll drink it anywhere! Really!

 


Nazy Kaviani

Multiple

by Nazy Kaviani on

It is a great piece! As I was reading it, I was flooded with two kinds of memories and emotions. Obviously the first one was a reminder of having read this and other Dr. Seuss books to my children, and the magic those words and those images and those rhymes created in the room for several years.

The other, and just by the way you had changed the characters to Zan and Friend (the tea was exceptionally clever!), was an image of all the times a new relationship between two adults starts and flourishes and settles down into that comfortable zone of companionship. You know, many people call that "a rut," or an end to the "head over heels love phase" in a relationship, the end of excitment and novelty. That might be only marginally true, but what about the comfort and joy of familiarity, of acceptance? No one seems to talk about that much as everyone gears up to "date" and stay away from commitments and heaven forbid, marriage. I am no exception, mind you! Reading the revised story and looking in on what could very easily be a sequence of an adult relationship, I remembered and longed for the joy of showing someone you really care for something which you know they would like if they only tried it!

Very, very sweet, and very touching. Thanks Multiple! I'll keep this one!

P.S. I take my morning tea with milk and two sugar cubes. You should try it!


Multiple Personality Disorder

To those who will read,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

Thank you in advance.