Multiple Personality Disorder
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That’s what I call bad service!
10-Mar-2009
I’ve been having problems with my DSL Internet connection for almost two months now. The company that I get my services from is a huge one and I'm sure they have huge lawyers, so I don't want to mention their name, because they might sue me and have FBI confiscate my Marxist-Leninist books. I'll just make up a name for them, as a matter of fact all the names mentioned hear are fake, I just call the company by the names of three of their employees who I talked to about the problem. Their names are: Alex, Tom, and Ted, or for short I just call them AT&T.
The problem with the connection began intermittently but it got worse exponentially until it broke down catastrophically, last Sunday. The first time I called AT&T was on January 7th when I discovered their male robot answering operator. I call him IT. Probably by some massive marketing research they’ve figured that people in western states prefer to talk to a male robot, because I've heard instead of male robots they use female ones in eastern states. I guess it's important to have the right gender robot screw the complainers.
The first time I called, IT sent me to India to Alex and he did a diagnostic over the phone but couldn’t fix the problem, so he sent me to their maintenance division and they scheduled a technician to come out and look at the DSL equipment on the 20th, thirteen days later! That was the best they could do, they said. I reluctantly accepted it, thinking I'll switch to anther company by then. Before hanging up I specifically asked them if the technician had to come inside my place to fix the problem. They said no. They were going to check their equipment outside, they said. By the 12th I was losing more access, but that night when I came home while the modem showed a good DSL connection at the same time there was a message from AT&T on my telephone message recorder that said the DSL technician couldn't access the equipment, but at the same time they were asking me if the problem was fixed! So, I had no idea whether they fixed it or not, but eventually it turned out that they hadn‘t done anything.
I finally had it. I was on the phone, I'd say, a good 40 minutes one day trying to find someone to terminate my Internet connection. IT sent me to India to Tom, and he sent me back to the USA, and then God knows where else. I think IT is not programmed to understand Iranian accent. You now, like dees kind of estuff: I am vary vary mad, I vant to talk to your manager. Or, maybe he sends most everyone to India because most of their intelligent employees are over there. The second time around when I talked to IT again he sent me to Ted, in India again, but since my problem had to do with not wanting to be charged for services that I was not getting, Ted sent me back to the USA again. I guess AT&T doesn't want Indians to give refunds, you know like giving refunds to their cosines in the USA type of things. The last guy I talked to in the USA was going to look into the history of my calls and decide on the issuance of a refund, but the connection was lost suddenly. Maybe I was sounding too angry after waiting for so long. Maybe he didn't understand when I said suck to AT&T. I don‘t know. The guy never called me back even though in the beginning of the conversation they ask you in advance in case the connection is lost what number is best to call back. Later on that same night there was a message on my telephone message recorder that said someone is available to look at my DSL equipment from 1-5 PM the next day.
I called them again the next morning. Again I had to go through IT that sent me to India again and connected me to Jennifer. I asked her what her real name was, hoping I could strike a conversation with her and maybe one day go on a date with her. She didn't understand my question, so I rephrased the question and asked her what her original name was before she started working for AT&T. She insisted it was Jennifer. I thought to myself dating such a lying woman is out of question. I forwent making a conversation with her and went directly to explaining to her the whole problem again just to get to the part to tell her that when the technician comes out to look at the DSL equipment, have him call me at my office a few minutes before and I'll meet him at my place. I told her I don't want to stay home all day waiting for him. I told her to read my file history in front of her, and that I didn't need to go through the whole thing again. She asked to put me on hold for a moment and went to check with someone, or something, to see what she should do. When she came back she told me my previous ticket of January 7th was closed and she was going to start a new ticket for me and then do another diagnostic over the phone, which at that point I lost my temper again and slammed the phone.
On Sunday after my connection was completely dead again I called AT&T ones again. This time IT sent me to a guy in Philippine. He figured out the problem so I don't want to mention his name. He, from a serial number on the modem, figured out that the manufacturer had recalled the modem. I don’t want to give you the manufacturer‘s name, that’s right, because I don't want to get sued. However, I let you in on a clue, the first part of their name is like another name for engine, and the last part of it is the acronym for Los Angle, except in between Motor and LA there is an O. Anyway, he said he was going to send me another modem, which should arrive in 3-4 days. I complained about services that I have been paying for but haven‘t been receiving. He said he wrote a note about it in my file and sent me to California to their billing department in this part of the country for a refund, but after a few minutes he came back and told me they were closed for the day and I should call them tomorrow.
I called them again on Thursday, but I gave up on the refund. I’m done. I'm just going to pay for services that I didn't receive and I'm not going to complain about it anymore. Nobody said life is fair. I’ve already paid for it, so what's to complain about. Please don’t advise me that next time when I call and IT answers the phone to ask for “AGENT”, because even when one talks to an Agent they still send you to India, Philippine, or wherever it is that they send you to get rid of you.
This blog is my revenge. My evil laugh: muahahaha muahahaha muahahahahah!
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Looking back, it appears after this article, you had better luck
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Oct 10, 2009 04:54 AM PDTDear MPD, Looking back, it appears after that this article, you had better luck and service at your place became more reliable. Or maybe you just found new subjects and did not want to write again about bad service.
As the World Wide Web spins so do I
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Fri Mar 20, 2009 05:33 AM PDTWhy would I consider going with anyone else when I have so much fun with Alex, Tom, and Ted. They called again today and said the line was repaired. So, now I have to get into the Zone again and call them back and tell them no it's not.
Zone
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Thu Mar 19, 2009 06:16 PM PDTWell what did you expect? You've been in a c-space zone for a looooooong time, your I'net provider seems to have gotten caught in the loop. My serious question to you is why do you stay with them? They're causing you an enormous amount of stress. And then you know what happens, you spin. And spin and spin. And you just don't go anywhere, you just...spin.
Welcome to the Hotel Spin.
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEBN30I5Voc
So now the service is even slower
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Wed Mar 18, 2009 09:30 PM PDTNow the speed is even slower after they repaired the line . So, I called them again ---> India ---> Kevin. He comfirmed that the service was slowER than it should be (i.e. it's barely moving). After he created ANOTHER ticket, this time he ASSURED me it was going to be fixed. I was amazingly calm. It was as if I was in the Zone.
or as we say en espan~ol
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:05 PM PDTsabzehcito.
ps I am on furlough. But if you want to find me now you know where to look...
roiban
by anonymous fish on Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:45 AM PDTwhat little time MPD has to spare is spent nuturing his baby sabzeh...:-0
double post
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Tue Mar 17, 2009 06:50 AM PDTdel
I'm still not here but I wanted to know if......
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Tue Mar 17, 2009 06:45 AM PDTthey called you. I understand you are very busy these days cooking and frequenting gaarage sales and I didn't want you to forget to update us about the Indian connection.
Here is an update:
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Mon Mar 16, 2009 04:08 PM PDTAfter installing the new modem and running it for a week, I finally called them again last night, and IT sent me to India to Williams, who turned out to be one of the nicest guys ever, as a matter of fact all of those Indians are very nice people. I complained about how slow the connection was and he, over the phone, showed me how to check the speed, which turned out to be one third of what I’ve been paying for. He did a diagnostic over the phone and determined that the problem is in the wiring lines, and he set it up that their maintenance department would look at the wires and would give me a call later about their findings. That same night I got a phone call from IT that they had detected a fault in the wires outside and they will repair it and do another check again to see if the problem is fixed or additional work inside my place needs to be done.
IT is supposed to call me back later.
Chand Gooneh Jan!
by Javad Yassari on Thu Mar 12, 2009 02:27 AM PDTYou are very funny! Forgive me for telling you that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your tale of frustration!
I have Comcast and it's no better. We are now prisoners of internet, hooked and addicted, and we are at the gatekeepers' mercy. Na een khoobeh, na eeshoon, la'anat be har dotashoon!
MPD, customer service is getting worse in this country
by Anahid Hojjati on Sat Oct 10, 2009 04:50 AM PDTDear MPD, in my opinion, slowly but surely, customer service in this country has become worse. Also California is much worse than Washington State in their level of customer service.
I know you're not here
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:53 PM PDT...but thanks. That was funny.
Hi, I'm not here but I had to give this to you..
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Wed Mar 11, 2009 08:46 PM PDTonce you get past the first ccouple of minutes on Al Qaeda which is really stupid it gets really funny...
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gSm6-l1zBk
Entertainment!
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Wed Mar 11, 2009 02:14 PM PDTThat’s what I’ve been trying to say all along, that this whole thing, life, this website, discourse, everything is all about entertainment, and we are players and spectators in this global theater, and someone in Rwanda gets tortured and I don’t have access to my Internet to watch it, and that gets me mad, but I don’t let that bother me because I’m going to write about not having Internet connection and entertain others.
Which reminds me, sometimes we bought cheap seat tickets and watched professional basketball games and we were way up there by the rafters, and we could hardly see anything, and a player would get hurt on the field and we had no idea what happened since everything moved so fast, especially when one is watching it from so far away, and we didn’t know what was going on until we heard it from the announcer. That’s what I’ve become, a spectator, and the announcer tells me what’s going on because I’m way up there watching everything from my computer and not knowing what pain feels like, and just watching it and writing it down for others to entertain them. Self-perpetuating entertainment.
No need to apologize for being entertained by me.
entertaining miseries
by Azarin Sadegh on Wed Mar 11, 2009 01:09 PM PDTI know it's terrible to say...but I can't stop laughing at your miseries MPD jan!
Please accept my sincere apologies dear, but keep writing these lovely blogs (Sorry, So sorry...)!
azarin
The new modem arrived Monday
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:10 AM PDTIt's up and running. All I have to do now is to call them and make sure the service I’m paying for is what I’m getting since at one point they had it slowed down so much that it was hardly working.
Thank you for reading.
Depending on where you live
by Abarmard on Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:51 AM PDTThe service varies, of course. If you don't live in a crowded city, cable should be faster and more reliable. But I have had many problems with my cable service, not recently though.
I am really curious though as what is the name of your DSL company.
Very entertaining blog, thanks
i'm trying to muster up some sympathy
by anonymous fish on Wed Mar 11, 2009 09:48 AM PDTfor your problem but i just can't get past laughing at your blog...;-)
you totally nailed it. it sounds like an absolute replica of my conversations with Tom Williams.
good luck!
You're not the only one.......
by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:07 PM PDTI had the same problems with my DSL, finally the thing died on me for several days
Supposedly, the company fixed the problem but my internet connection is still crappy
Thank goodness, I have internet access on my cell phone or I would have been totally unplugged
The worst thing is that the company that I use is the only provider in my area
ناتاليا
Read you MPD. It is
by Anahid Hojjati on Tue Mar 10, 2009 09:58 PM PDTRead you MPD. It is frustrating the way the level of customer service in United States has been going downhill the past decade. I blame a lot of it on outsourcing. I am not blaming workers from any country. I am just saying that when companies outsource, many times, it becomes easier for them to wash their hands off the service problems. The more distance between different parts of the company (development, manufacturing, customer service), the worse will become customer experience with the products/services of that company. I am not saying it is always the case but I venture to say it happens majority of times. Good luck with your telecomm. problems.