n.zanincanadai

There's too much more to say

There's too much more to say I will leave it at this. Otherwise I would have to discuss every word. ;p

Why is being a slut an insult to begin with?

Why is N word used to demean? what does it even mean, who invented it? Whoever invented it could have called it Zereshk and we would have called it Z word by now and it would still be used to insult.

What does slut even mean? who invented it? Did it come from Slot machine?! Did some Hajiagha in early 20th century spelled it wrong?! It is being used to insult.

Khoshgel (pretty) could mean slut. It could mean that if you are khoshgel you get more attention from men and you're bound to sleep with more of them, to be able to make up your mind :-)

So you can use it anyway you want. You can use it as a badge of honor and your friends would understand and you'd like it too, but most people compare it to a slot machine!

Anonymouse,Yes, it

Anonymouse,

Yes, it depends who is using the word. Tonya pointed this out too. But that doesn't change what is generally accepted as the meaning of the word. What the N word conjures is beyond dispute. No matter who is using it and in what sense, it doesn't change the meaning. It's just that within a community, it can be used as a shookhi. Khar is another word like this. You can say:

"Martike Khar"

"Bia inja khareh duset daram"

"be ye toke goftan..."

The term changes each time but a donkey is a donkey is a donkey. So my point is that Slut, is a word with a particular meaning. Even if girlfriends use it amongst themselves, they are shookhi insulting each other. Which is cool. But why is being a slut an insult to being with, is what I tried to chiti chati about. If Slut was a word like keyboard, or if J was a word like telephone, it wouldn't be a joke with you and your friends. But it is because of the insultingness of it.

So I think that women should claim back the night.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S7edoFeloM

Depends on how you say it.

Like when the hip hop artists use the n word with each other, but if we use it it means a whole different meaning.

Slut is an acceptable word among girlfriends like you say. My (male) friends and I call each other jendeh and other curse words. It's amusing to us and makes us laugh. But we don't use it when we have company.

So I think it depends how you use it and who uses it. It can be demeaning if used to by an a**hole, which by the way we can use to find out who is and who isn't an a**hole.

:-))))

You're so funny!

I know. I know you know. I

I know. I know you know. I know you know that I know you know...I'm just clarifying it. My own escapades will be written in documentary style :)

You

I know. My "you" was a general "you", not referring to you.

Thanks all for reading. But

Thanks all for reading. But this wasn't autobiographical.

n.zanincanadai

Dear cyber-friend,

Believe you me, you're plenty worthy!

I was thinking that the word "slut" is also often used about a woman whose sexual endeavours cannot be defined and put in a box. Insecure people without imagination and devoid of a free spirit generally need to first define those they meet and then compartmentalise their identity, especially their sexual behaviour. They would call you a "slut" as soon as your sex life is perceived, for one reason or another, to be outside of their categorised world - a world full of "shoulds".

Keep exploring.

Azadeh 

Tonya, I am familiar with

Tonya,

I am familiar with the western idiom but it's kind of hard because I'm also familiar with the middle eastern thought process and the diaspora view and use of this term :) So, I have to start with basics and go with the dictionary. As feshangi pointed out, otherwise, a mini skirt could be slutty to one person and the term SLUT could be a term of endearement for another person.  tee hee hee

In Persian, the word for hooker beginning with J, is used a lot by women with their friends. "Hey J where are you going to day? Wanna come over?" So you are right in that sense.

Experimentation is a concept I don't know how to deal with yet. Because on the surface it's a natural process of coming of age. But does one really need to get so drunk and not remember what they did and with whom in order to ... get in touch with who they will be? I've heard it used for women who sleep with other women. I don't get it because experimenting is used very loosely and even in self destructive situations. So I have teenk about this one a bit.

True, but....

I stand by my comments.  If in fact you're not totally familiar with the "Western" idiom, you would be correct in a dictionary version of the word "slut".  However, in my opinion, the majority of western women would use the word far more casually than you might think.  It would not refer to her sexual activities so much as her overall...hmmm... lack of character.  My comment about a man calling a woman a slut as being "hopeful"... was a joke.  Being experimental would refer to the tasting of any forbidden fruit...albeit sex or drugs or hairstyle.  It's simply a humorous discussion.

Feshangi: I was very

Feshangi: I was very precise in putting a definition on top. I'm basing it on that. Then, I'm also basing it on my interpretation of that. More precise then that and i would have to be a "pargaar"!

However, Ho, is in a different league. And to some extent, any version of prostitute. You hear that a lot in places and communities of deep male frustration usually due to poverty, oppressino and lack of a political voice. Have you watched Boyz N The Hood? It's a perfect example. There is a scene at a bbq when the women characters bring this issue up.

These words are all a lot more than what we use them for. But I don't want to get academic with them because it gets boring.

Chicagodad: Thanks. You can

Chicagodad: Thanks. You can ask you wife what this means: "maa inim!"

Toreng: Good one

Tonya: I didn't discuss dismissive versus hopeful. I'm just saying it's a "bad" word because women have a problem with sluts :) The word DOES refer to her sexuality, as defined by the dictionary. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I based my thinking based on the specific definition I noted above. "Experimenting" is a western idea I'm not familiar with, stay tuned for that one.

Bahmani: Yes, I didn't mean to discriminate against the male slut :) I'm not discussing him yet because the concept is new to me, stay tuned. BUT I didn't suggest slutiness is a badge of honor (it could be). I'm just thinking out loud about why it's such an insult to be called a slut.

Azadeh Joon: You know I'm not worthy.

Too Vague

Sluttishness is in the eye of the beholder.   A slut in the eye of another slut is merely a sister.  To a muslim religious person any woman dating any man is a slut. Some Iranian men consider an Iranian woman dating a non-Iranian to be a slut!  So who is a true slut?  To what degree should a woman be a slut to make her potent enough?  In one geographical location she may be just a woman. In another, doing the same thing earns her the distinguished title of being a slut.  I personally think slut is too vague a word to be used effectively.   If one really wants to be mean, I think one may call someone a prostitute or a ho' if you want to be khodemooni.  Now that has a lot of meat and flavor. This means that she is an enterprising entrepreneur and charges for what she offers. It is a black and white word. No ifs or butts about this one. This is a powerful word. :-)

Feshangi

The "F" Word

Your thought processes are linear, you logic impecable and your writing style fresh.  Alll I can say is FANTASTIC!

men's definition :-)

A Slut : A woman who get laid with every body.

A Bitch : A woman who get laid with every body but not with you

Pretty much on the target!

Hmmm... interesting points.  A woman calling another woman a slut is dismissive.  A man calling a woman a slut is hopeful!  I'm trying to think of when the word became relevant to me.  In high school a girl who had sex was "easy".  In college she was "experimenting".  I think the word really refers more to her character than her sexual activities.  "Slut puppy" is actually an affectionate term used with very close friends.  I know I know... sounds like pretty sick friends but what can I say.  Most women would admit to being just a little envious... they sure did get the attention!  However, being called a slut is never to be mistaken with being called a whore.  I might use slut in a casual way... but never viciously.  The other one is someone who is messing with my man!

I aspire to be a slut!

I would offer that Sluttiness is not confined to just women, some men make quite good sluts too. Actually it carries the same kind of badge of honor you suggest, for men too. So I too celebrate the sluts of the world! Sluts of the world unite! Great piece.

You go grrrrrrrlllllll :-)

I simply luuuuuv your writing!