Princess
<<Les fruits dépassent les promesses des fleurs.>> . . . . . <<The fruits surpass the promises of the flowers.>>
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Kabul Diaries: conversation with an ex-soldier
18-Nov-2009
The drive back from the old city always took a lot longer in the evenings because of the traffic jam. The high number of vehicles, drivers who tried to turn two-lane streets into four lanes by sheer force and sharing the roads with hundreds of pedestrians, meant that a stretch which normally should have taken 20 minutes, took three times as long. On this particular evening, the worse than usual smog made breathing difficult and left a nasty taste of gas fumes in my mouth.
As soon as we arrived in the Qala and I dropped off my stuff in my room, I made my way to the kitchen to get some tea and fruit to help change the bitter aftertaste. The low ceilinged, warmly lit kitchen was a cozy space furnished with a long table in the middle, windows which opened into the courtyard and shelving units lining the wall on the other side. This was where Kaka Mustafa prepared the evening meals.
Often I enjoyed sitting in a corner watching him as he drained the big pots of rice or chopped vegetables for the soup, while I asked him questions and tried to follow his Dari. On this day, I had some specific questions I wanted to ask him. Dr. Abdullah, the presidential candidate who was challenging the incumbent Karzai, had apparently announced that afternoon that he would no longer participate in the run-off elections, which were due to take place in a few days time because, he claimed, the system was corrupt and he had no faith in it. I wanted to ask Kaka Mustafa what he thought about the announcement and the elections in general.
I entered the vestibule and opened the small door to the kitchen. A pleasantly warm breeze stroked my cheeks and the delicious smell of the lamb stew simmering on the stove greeted me. Kaka Mustafa had cleaned and washed the rice and was sitting on a stool in the corner of the kitchen deep in thought. As soon as he saw me, he flashed a big smile and got up to greet me. I said ‘Salaam, Chitor hastid? Jour hastid? Mandena bashid!’ (Peace be with you, How are you? Are you well? May you not be tired!). I pleaded with him to sit back down and made my way to the shelves to pick up a mug and a tea bag before I walked over to the stove. Kaka Mustafa, rushed forward and picked up the heavy kettle with his big strong hands and said, ‘Let me do it. It is heavy, you will burn yourself.’ I held up my cup as he poured hot water over my green tea. I thanked him and sat down at the corner of the long table. He walked over to the other side of the stove, picked up a small tin box of crushed golapar (Persian Hogweed) and put a pinch in my mug. I smiled and thanked him. This was a secret he had just recently let me in on; the golpar prevents the green tea from getting bitter.
Kaka Mustafa was a Shiite Tajik. He was of medium height and a stocky build. He wore a short black beard, which matched the colour of his hair. The deep wrinkles around his eyes reflected traces of a difficult life beyond his age. He was probably in his late 50s. When he was younger, Kaka Mustafa used to be a soldier, but in his middle age he earned a living much more peacefully as a cook.
I put my tea on the table to cool off a bit. I picked up a small bowl and began to seed some pomegranates. He sat down and watched me as he asked how my day had been. I told him about my brief tour of the bazaar across the Kabul River that afternoon. One of the locals from the old city had accompanied me, as I needed to get a clearer picture of the neighbourhood beyond the immediate quarter where we worked. After a few light exchanges I turned to what really preoccupied my mind.
‘Have you heard about Dr Abdullah’s announcement today? What do you think about it?’ I said. ‘Yes, the situations is not good. God knows what will happen.’ he replied. I continued, ‘What do you really think of the elections Kaka Mustafa, do you believe they were rigged?’ He let out a sigh and said, ‘Dokhtaram, (my daughter) they are all thieves. Karzai is surrounded with a bunch of thieves. Everybody in Afghanistan knows that, but I think it is a good thing Abdullah decided to finally give up. If Karzai lost the elections, it would lead to a bloodbath in Afghanistan. The Pashtoons would never accept a president who is not one of them.’ I had heard this before from several other Afghans during the past week.
I probed further, ‘But what do you think of Abdulah himself?’ He said, ‘They are all after their own interests. They all want to pocket the billions that are dumped into Afghanistan. Abdullah is no different. They all want power for themselves. Nobody has the interest of the people at heart. Besides, Abdullah had his chance during the Mujahedin era. These people massacred the Hazaras. They did to their hamvatans (compatriots), what even Yazid didn’t do to Imam Hussein and 72 tan.’ He was referring to the grandson of Prophet Muhammad who was killed together with 72 members of his family and his followers in Karbala. For Shiites the battle of Karbala still signifies one of the most unimaginable gruesome cowardly ways of killing the innocent. I looked up at him questioningly. He continued, ‘At least Yazid did not violate their namous (honour), these people raped and violated the wives and daughters of their compatriots before they killed them. No, the Afghan people never forget!’
I had known that the last three decades in Afghanistan had been very bloody, but I could not have imagined the extent nor the depth of the wounds. Kaka Mustafa had become very animated when talking about the Mujahedin. I wondered how long it would take for these wounds to heal. Moving the conversation back to the elections, I said, ‘So you think Abdullah did the right thing by withdrawing?’ He replied, ‘Yes, he did the right thing for Afghanistan. For now it is best if Karzai remained president. It was also a wise move by Abdullah, because now nobody can claim that he lost the elections. Who knows maybe they have promised him an important position in Karzai’s government if he backed off.’ This was another rumour, which had spread like wild fire since the afternoon. Just beginning to gain glimpses of the complexity of the political, ethnic and sectarian divisions of the country, I asked, ‘What, in your opinion, does Afghanistan need, to help it progress?’ He didn’t take long, before he replied, ‘Afghanistan needs a government that unites the people. Up until now the only thing that has managed to unite us has been a common enemy. We are good at uniting to fight when our land is invaded. We need to be united when we are not invaded.’ I let his words sink in before I asked, ‘Can the foreigners help? What can the kharejis do to help?’ ‘The kharegis can help by helping us create jobs, and they can help by helping us build up our country.’
To me his assessment of the needs of his country seemed unbelievably sober and his expectations from the foreigners seemed not too far fetched. Helping build infrastructure and creating jobs are infinitely easier than building a nation and creating democracies in foreign cultures. His answer seemed to indicate that he understood there were certain things only Afghans could do, while there were other things with which they needed a lot of help from the outside. I wondered why the most sophisticated Western politicians are unable to understand what even a 'simple' Afghan soldier seems to understand. Our conversation was interrupted as Jack and Mike came into the kitchen looking for me. We had agreed to go out for a curry dinner that night. I told them, I needed a few minutes and would meet them by the gate.
I got up to put my dishes in the sink and make my way to my room to get ready. Kaka Musafa asked, ‘Are you going out?’ I told him about our plans. He said, ‘Can I ask you not to go out tonight? It is not safe. Many Afghans are staying home. Abdullah only made the announcement this afternoon. It is best to wait tonight and tomorrow to see what will happen. You can always go out in a couple of days.’
The fact that a mere announcement by a public figure can make a nation nervous to the extent that they decide to stay home, might be difficult for me to fully comprehend, but I could sense a real worry in his voice. I told him I would cancel my plans. Just as I was leaving the kitchen, I couldn’t resist asking him the question that had been lingering on my mind, ‘Did you lose many family members during the war?’ He was surprised by my question. ‘I lost a daughter. She died under the rubble. She would have been your age by now.’ He said. Stepping out of the kitchen I said, ‘Khoda biyamorzadesh!’ (May she rest in peace!)
We stayed home that night.
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OK, I might have
by Princess on Wed Nov 25, 2009 11:10 AM PST... overreacted to that particular comment of yours, but it wasn't the first time I had felt there was something wrong with the tone of some of your comments. You might not mean or realise it yourself, but I needed to bring it to your attention.
You are right in saying that pain and beauty also exist in Iran. If this is a roundabout way of asking me your origianl question, suffice it to say that I have many reasons for choosing to go to Afghanistan and many of them I would not want to discuss on a public forum.
I can, however, disclose one of my reasons. Unfortuantely, under the current regime, I feel my rights are better protected working as a foreigner in Afghansitan, than they would be if I were to work as an Iranian in Iran. It is sad, but that is how I feel.
I hope I have answered your question. Thank you for your interest.
Yes pain and beauty
by amirkabear4u on Wed Nov 25, 2009 08:48 AM PSTdo exist in Iran too. I check to see if any word is rude, but looks ok.
Pain and Beauty
by Princess on Tue Nov 24, 2009 08:15 AM PSTDear Irandokht, Dear MPD,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Yes, there is a lot of pain and a lot of beauty over there. The pain is only bearable because of the beauty.
So much pain and suffering
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:16 PM PSTThank you for writing about Mustafa. It’s heart-wrenching to hear so much pain and suffering coming from a simple conversation. That’s what war does to a nation. I’m glad much upheaval did not happen after Abdullah decided not to run, but I was also glad you decided to stay home that night.
Thank you dear Princess
by IRANdokht on Sun Nov 22, 2009 07:44 PM PSTIn this piece, you answered my first question that I asked you when you started posting your diaries. I remember I had just heard about Abdullah's withdrawal and I asked you how they felt about him and his decision. What a way to answer that, straight from the mouth of a simple but wise Afghan man. Great insight! I had not thought of the pseudo stability that Karzai's corrupt government has established, maybe it's best to hope for a reform there too.
I was touched by the sincere and candid conversation you had with Kafa Mustafa. You must have a big and kind heart.
Thank you!
IRANdokht
Hi Yolanda,
by Princess on Sun Nov 22, 2009 04:29 PM PSTHow very strange!
I just saw this comment as I posted a small blog about this same issue. I believe it should answer most of your questions.
No, Dari and Farsi are not like English and American. If anything I would say it's more like Shakespearean English and contemporary English. The alphabet is the same, the accent and some words are different.
.....
by yolanda on Sun Nov 22, 2009 03:33 PM PSTHi! Princess,
A couple of months ago, I read in the LA Times that US army is hiring Dari and Farsi translators. Apparently Dari and Farsi are considered 2 separate languages......My question is that: Are Dari and Farsi really very different? Is the difference between Dari and Farsi like the difference between British English and American English? Do Farsi and Dari have the same writing system and same spelling?
Thank you and take care!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
like to know
by amirkabear4u on Sun Nov 22, 2009 07:51 AM PSTwhat is wrong or rude about saying 'like to know'.
NOW I understand why you are using this user name, oh Princess. On the other hand do you read what you write yourself?
Take it easy girl.
.......
by yolanda on Sat Nov 21, 2009 07:35 AM PSTThank you, Princess, for the good news! I look forward to your other stories and photo essays!!!! Yeah!!!
Thank you!!!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
Yolanda,
by Princess on Sat Nov 21, 2009 05:00 AM PSTThank you again. Yes, there are a couple of other photos essays I am working on.
Have a good weekend.
Amir,
by Princess on Sat Nov 21, 2009 04:58 AM PSTI am not sure if you are aware of the tone of your comment. Just in case you are not, let me tell you it sounds like you feel entitled to demand an answer to your question, when in fact you have no such entitlement.
You are asking me a personal question. I might consider answering if you consider reformulating it more politely.
To Princess
by amirkabear4u on Sat Nov 21, 2009 02:50 AM PSTIs there any reasons you do not do charity or visit Iran?
I like to know.
.....
by yolanda on Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:52 AM PSTHi! Princess,
Thank you soooo much for your answer, it is super interesting! It looks like Afghanistan is a very conservative place that interracial marriages are not common. I am always interested in other cultures and languages, you have the first-hand information, that is great! Thank you for answering everyone's questions. In my whole life, I only ran into 1-2 Afghan necklace sellers and 5 Iranians: 3 are former colleagues and 2 are former Math teachers, only 5 in total. Of course, I encounter Iranians here on IC or see them on TV once a while.......when I turn off my computer or turn off my TV, I don't see the shadows of even one Iranian.....thank you for answering my questions. I am so glad that you have more stories coming, Yeah!!!!!
Do you have more photo essays coming or pictures to show us? Do you have pictures of handicrafts or pottery?
Thank you for everything!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
Hi Princess
by ex programmer craig on Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:48 AM PSTYes, that pretty much sums up the criticism I've been hearing :)
I think maybe the closest the US has ever gotten to doing things that way was in the Philippine Islands.
EDIT: Oh the other part is the baseline assumption that nobody wants to put much faith in the US/International Community becuase they know they/we have a short attention span these days.
EP Craig
by Princess on Fri Nov 20, 2009 05:29 AM PSTThanks for your comment. The US might not have had a comprehensive approach to the middle east, but they most definitely had a significant presence and a very positive one in Iran way before the 50s.
And I certainly agree with you that the British Empire has not done much good around the world and the days of Empire building are long gone. I don't know exactly what the Pakistanis criticisms of the Americans are, but let me share with you a passage from a book I read a while ago which might shed light on some possible criticism and the comparison.
"Critics have accused this new breed of administrators of neo-colonialism. But in fact their approach is not that of a nineteenth-century colonial officer. Colonial administrations may have been racist and exploitative but they did at least work seriously at the business of understanding the people they were governing. They recruited people prepared to spend their entire careers in dangerous provinces of a single alien nation. They invested in teaching administrators and military officers the local language. They established effective departments of state, trained a local elite and continued the countless academic studies of their subjects through institutes and museums, royal geographical societies and royal botanical gardens. They balanced the local budget and generated fiscal revenue because if they didn't their home government would rarely bail them out. If they failed to govern fairly, the population would mutiny.
"Post-conflict experts have got the prestige without the effort or stigma of imperialism. Their implicit denial of the difference between cultures is the new mass brand on international interventions. Their policy fails, but no one notices. There are no credible monitoring bodies and there is no one to take formal responsibility. Individual officers are never in one place and rarely in any one organization long enough to be adequately assessed. The colonial enterprise could be judged by the security or revenue it delivered, but neo-colonialists have no such performance criteria. In fact their very uselessness benefits them. By avoiding any serious action or judgement they, unlike their colonial predecessors, are able to escape accusations of racism, exploitation and suppression.
"Perhaps it is because no one requires more than a charming illusion of action in the developing world. If the policy makers know little about the Afghans, the public knows even less, and few care about policy failure when the effects are felt only in Afghanistan."
Thanks for your interest.
Princess
by ex programmer craig on Fri Nov 20, 2009 02:38 AM PSTI couldn't agree with you more on the US and its change of approach to the middle east, but I would argue that the change of approach started in the early 50s and the role they played in the '53 coup, and not in '79.
I just wanted to state that the US didn't even have an "approach" in the middle east until the 1950s. That's when the US first started getting involved anywhere besides east asia and latin america :)
Anyway, now that's out of the way let me say I've been enjoying reading your travelogues immensely! It's a refreshing change to hear stories told by somebody who isn't in the US military.
I've heard a lot of criticism from Pakistanis that the US doesn't do things like the British did a hundred years ago, which really surprises the hell out of me. Not sure what to make of that. But if people are waiting for America to act like the British Empire did they are going to be waiting a really long time.
Thank you all for
by Princess on Fri Nov 20, 2009 06:36 AM PSTThank you all for reading.
JJ, unfortunately so far there has been little sign that the US policy makers listen to people like Kaka Mustafa, but as they realise increasingly that there are no real military solutions to the problems of Afghanistan, they too might learn to listen. I couldn't agree with you more on the US and its change of approach to the middle east, but I would argue that the change started in the early 50s and the role they played in the '53 coup, and not in '79.
Yolanda, I have to be a bit careful here, because I am recounting what someone else is saying and I am not knowledgeable enough on the subject to be able to separate the extent of the veracity of the statements. In these I am more interested in reporting what the Afghan people might think rather than if it is true or not. Personally, I think when Kaka Mustafa said they 'massacred' the Hazaras he wasn't using term with its strictly legal meaning in mind. I have no idea how many Hazaras fell victim during the civil war, but I am very interested to find out more about the whole thing now.
As for interracial marriages between the Hazaras and other ethnicities, I believe you are rather correct in assuming that very little of that takes place. One of the reasons, besides the difference in religion, might be because they seem to have a slightly different attitude towards women. In one traveller's account, who walked from Harat to Kabul, in all the villages he stayed along the way, in no household the women shared the same quarters as the men. In fact he never got to see a single woman in the hundreds of village houses he stayed other than in the Hazara villages where the women would sit down with men to have their meals and even take part in conversations.
Anonymouse jan, as I wrote in my response to Yolanda I don't know exactly what crimes against the Hazaras Kaka Mustafa was talking about. I think he was talking about something that went on during the civil war. I am sure he wasn't talking about the Taliban. The crimes the Taliban commited are well documented. I shall try to read up a bit more on the history of Afghanistan before I go back next time, so that I can place the stories a bit better.
And I would not underestimate your cousin's kids! For anybody who survives in Iran's environment, we the expats seem rather green, (no pun intended) no matter how old we are... :) I am sure they felt very responsible for the safety of a relative who does not have to put up with the tricks of a tyrannical regime everyday.
Esther, I am running slightly behind with my diary entries and have a few more stories I would like to share before I stop this series.
Thanks for your interest!
.....
by yolanda on Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:39 AM PSTHi Princess,
On Father's Day, I went to a Persian restaurant for lunch. The waitress who served us food is very beautiful and courteous. I asked her if Iranian people will eventaully win the fight.....for 2 minutes, the lady had no idea what I was talking about...so I asked her if she watched the post-election protests shown on CNN......and then she said to me, "I am not Iranian, I am from Afghanistan....my election is coming, they all cheat anyway!".....I think this waitress sounded like Kaka Mustafa in your story.....
Thank you for all your stories from Afghanistan......I am sure that you have touched a lot of lives there.....I am glad that you have returned unscathed. Thank God!
Take care!!!
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
Thank you ...
by Esther on Thu Nov 19, 2009 03:02 PM PST... for sharing your Kabul diaries! I thought they might end now that you are back in London, but I'm glad they haven't. Thank you for showing us Afghanistan through your eyes and the eyes of those you met. :)
Thanks Princess jaan for another nice installment
by Anonymouse on Thu Nov 19, 2009 07:14 AM PSTFew years ago I remember reading about the early Taliban days and just before they took control about how they raped local women to use it as a tool of terror and bring people into submission. It was so sad to read or see some of those reports. It made the hair in my body get straight. Remember one smuggled video of when they brought couple of women in burkas to the soccer stadium and then shot them in the head, non chalantly, as if they were killing a sheep that was on the news just on or around 9/11? Much more violent than Bosnia's atrocities against Muslims and Bosnia was a genocide.
As I understand it Abdullah Abdullah was part of Northern Alliance and don't understand when or how he or his alliance were part of these terrors. Taliban and some Pashtouns were the culprit?
Kaka Mustafa sounds like an elder who knows a lot about his country but I think things have changed and if a non-Pashtoun becomes president, it is not necessarily a blood bath. Otherwise why would Abdullah2 make himself a candidate? It is pretty violent now, as it is.
As for Kaka telling you not to go out because of election violence, it reminded me of when I was in Iran and they told us not to go out because of violence. I went out but didn't get too close to the action! My cousins' kids (in their 20s) would not let me, but they went alone after they chaperoned me home ;-) What is this world coming to?!
Everything is sacred.
........
by yolanda on Thu Nov 19, 2009 06:08 AM PSTHi! Princess,
I am saddened to hear that they massacred Hazaras. Initially I thought they only discriminate againist or dislike Hazaras, apparently it is much more than that. It is sooo sad! Are there a lot of interracial marriages between Hazaras and other Afghans? The Hazara pictures I have seen so far seem to indicate there are not many interracial marriages 'cause the Hazaras look pure Oriental to me.....maybe I am wrong...
Thanks,
I will be back later.....
Delaram Banafsheh (Yolanda)
"Cactus in the Desert"
Re: those were the days
by amirkabear4u on Thu Nov 19, 2009 05:43 AM PSTI used to think why some of the things american do last longer or stays in public mind in Iran.
I maybe wrong but I noticed they tend to be more generous when it comes to public services. At the moment, anything built in Tehran is basically so small and unusable. Typical example is the pigeon holes they make and call them apartments. Understandably if the design is larger than normal they called it 'american design'.
As a responsible leader or top politician, one should try to bring the price of land down so do not need to see foreigners do such projects for us.
Those were the days
by Jahanshah Javid on Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:24 AM PSTDecades ago, Americans built schools and hospitals in the Middle East. They made a lasting, positive impact on the lives of the people. In Iran Alborz high school (built by an American missionary) is still attracting the best students. The American hospital in Tehran had a reputation for excellence. Harvard opened a business school in Tehran and Shiraz University was practically a sister branch of University of Pennsylvania. You can blame the 1979 revolution for America's reversal of fortunes in Iran. But the fact remains that throughout the Middle East U.S. funds have shifted from developmental projects to selling arms, military assistance and direct occupation.
I wonder if U.S, policy makers listen to people like Kaka Mustafa? They should.
Merci!
by Princess on Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:00 PM PSTRed Wine jan and Bajenagh jan, you are most kind. Thank you very much for your kind comments!
Princess jan
by bajenaghe naghi on Wed Nov 18, 2009 08:10 PM PSTI really liked reading this blog which if I may add was beautifully (as usual) written. It desctribed the problems facing the Afghans from the point of view of one ordinary but wise man. Very touching.
Thank you and be safe.
...
by Red Wine on Wed Nov 18, 2009 03:08 PM PSTPrincess jan you are writing like a very pro journalist ... i like how you see those things over there and how you are telling us about them .
Thank you my dear :=) .