Ramin Tork

Dear Nazy

This was a great idea. I might do a long version of this story, but 750 words was a good challenge.

Dear Ramin:

A sweet story, told with heart and passion. I have gone around the issue of affairs so many times, watching people succumb to passion and love which is not readily available to them. I am way, way past the stage of making judgements about the issue. All I know is that from a purely practical point of view, affairs are messy and painful and hard to manage. If people can walk away they should.

You told your story with a kind heart. Thank you so very much for accepting the invitation and for doing such a good job with it. You are a pro!

Shirin is the same person he married

He had made a choice, whatever Shirin's character he had made a choice, perhaps a wrong choice but that was not Shirin's fault. Perhaps Shirin was wonderful and he had simply had to come to terms with being a married man we don't know, well I do but given the constraint of what I wrote in the 750 words I didn't expand the story to delve into the characters.

Whatever the reason he went through the marriage and stayed with her for 15 years.

This can also be

This can also be another it's not you it's me routine!  Whereas we learned in Seinfeld that if it is anyone it is her, not you!  If Shirin was who she was supposed to be then there would be no need to look elsewhere and other encouters would be brushed off as just another piece of meat.

You can't also say that he "chose" himself to go through the pain ;-) In reality he does not feel the pain.  It is not him it's her, that includes the pain!

Everything is sacred.

Good points and thanks for reading

Ultimately, out of an infidility ( unless you are dealing with a hippy or multi partener culture) someone gets hurt. In this case he chose himself (and perhaps to some extend Laura) as the victim given that his betrayal made him feel the betrayal of his mother and he decided to go back to the mold of being his father i.e. the partner that stayed behind and maintained the family.

I suspect that Self sacrifice is more common between Iranians and specially women than men.

Liberal thinking would state that he had only married for six month and there were no children involved so he should had left Shirin for Laura.

A psychologist might argue that he didn't go because he was ultimately protecting himself from an unstable relationship and rejection and pain so like an Agoraphobic he did not leave the nest and not becuase his relationship in marriage was the stronger bond.

Ramintork it is

Ramintork it is always to himself, others such as his wife always will say no.

This is being too intellectual and if the discussion is strictly intellectual (roshan fekri) then sure anything goes.  For example, why even bother wearing clothes in public?  To himself he can be true to himself and say I'm in love of getting naked and going out in public.

Anything can be justified if we bound it only by basic human thoughts.  Someone can kill, steal, sleep in streets just for the sake of not working and do anything and call it being true to oneself. 

Everything is sacred.

The whole point is

The whole point is embedded in two different ways that you mentioned. They seem inherently conflicting and people have to choose either way. So that it would be difficult or impossible for Shirin to be convinced that the love of Laura by the protagonist is not threatening to her (or may be it is at the end). Not acting upon protagonist’s instant love, means that their marital love in this case has been stronger.

to himself or others?

To himself he can, to his wife Shirin, no he would have a hard time explaining he is in love with two women in different ways, but you can be in love with more than one person at the same time, you may choose not to act upon your love and do the right thing and not hurt the one you love.

Of course, I have no doubt

Of course, I have no doubt that falling in love has nothing to do with ethical and social rules and taboos (and in fact it makes romance so beautifully challenging!). But being in position of a husband in Love with his wife, he technically can not claim that he is in love with another strange girl at the same time. Can he?

But persian westender Love is not a tap you can turn on and off

Love is as emotion that does not always follow our ethical, cultural values, it is an emotion that supercedes it.

To give you an example, not so long ago, or still in some parts of the world falling in love with someone of a different race, religion or social class is still taboo but we still for instance get Gaza Palestinians falling in Love with settlement Jews I know because there are such cases. Perhaps we are going towards a family sturcutre where the stucture of the family unit itself and its dynamics would change as it has in many cultures.

Love is not a tap you can turn on and off, however as a married person who willingly entered a marriage you have a duty to stay faithful or at least be open about our genuine feelings, or be aware of how intimate you become with people.

Dear Ramintork

I totally agree that people are complex and unique in their encounter with romance due to their unique backgrounds, personalities, etc.... However, we may come up with a general explanation of what the characteristics of ‘falling in love’ could be. I believe we can fall in love with different people at the same time, when their positions and relations do not conflict (socially and culturally). For example,  a husband can love his wife, mother or daughter at the same time; but can not claim that he is in love with his wife and a mistress or a female colleague at the same time. In the latter case loving each one, nullifies the love of other one right away (may be just culturally, not emotionally). 

Sure if it was a

Sure if it was a loveless marriage. 

Everything is sacred.

Anonymouse

The reader has the right to develop his own take on the story so for you if it was just lust then lust it is, but we can safely say that the character did not think of himself as being in lust.

For someone who had been in a similar situation, who divorced and moved in with Laura it would have been a case of leaving a Loveless marriage and entering a relationship which has genuine love.

Well the protagonist,

Well the protagonist, BTW call him character or main character what's up with protagonist?! 

Anyway, the character of your story or any story when 'cheats' it'll be called lust not love.  Otherwise it'd not be called cheating, now would it? 

Everything is sacred.

Hello Princess

Thanks for the tip, I'll watch t if I see it on TV.

What I like is their hidden unwritten story that can be spotted only by seeing their work.

Like for instance you can't help thinking when Millais borrowed Elizabeth Siddall the girl who later became Rosetti's wife to model for his Ophellia, if he had fallen for her, and how he felt when she suffered and became ill as a result of posing for Ophellia.

But Anonymouse

If that was the case it would only be lust, the protagonist had found his soulmate and he was genuinely inlove and not deing to ease off the sexual charge between himself and a collegue.

It is always the

It is always the illusion.  Once you do the deed you either feel guilty and ruined or go for the next illusion. 

Everything is sacred.

Nice story!

By the way are you watching "Desperate Romantics" about the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood on BBC2? Very funny

Dear DK

Like most fiction there is some truth, but I don't want to give away too much!

Great Story I nearly believed it was True ;0)

Or Was it ? :0)

Loved the painting Ramin Jaan. I've seen it before but cannot remember the name.

Could you enlighten me ? Oops I just noticed you did ! ;0)

Thanks,

DK

About the image

Hylas and the Nymphs, painted in 1896 by the Pre-Raphaelite John William Waterhouse.

Hylas is one of the Argonauts, sailing with Jason in quest of the Golden Fleece. While the ship is stopped at an island, he goes in search of fresh water. As he stoops to fill his jug at a woodland spring he encounters a bevy of naiads, who fall madly in love with the heartbreakingly handsome youth. They invite him into the pool and he is never heard from again.

Dear Ari

Now you have me ( being very nosy!) curious about your Facebook "confirm" button story.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you turned that to a story so that we can all enjoy it.

Dear persian westender

It is an element of many works of Art and literature to be left open ended to allow the viewer or reader to complete the picture.

Ultimately human beings are very complex and in the case of this character who had two very distinct aspects of personality he had difficulty reconciling the two and had to settle for one. He had made a commitment so he chose that route.

Had he not experienced the pain and impact of his mother's infidility, he might have had a different path.

I like it

Very well done.

Lovely story Ramintork

I liked your story. Thank

I liked your story. Thank you! Falling in love with someone else, after 6 months marriage seems like an uncomfortable situation indeed. Assuming that this is a fiction, I dare to ask does it mean that the love involved in the marriage was not enough powerful to sustain, or multiple loves can take place no matter how the marital love is strong?

I liked the story

more than anything its mood.  I have a feeling your memory of the time of year may be hazy, it sounds like it was later in the year like well into the fall. 

Thanks for the advise Mehrban

It was only fiction, but then again perhaps it wasn't! LOL.

I guess that is what is so wonderful about writing.

I hope you enjoyed the story.

With Laura

It would have become the same "different way".  Love is a funny thing it is not sustainable, if it lasts it becomes a different way.   Maybe that is why most passionate lovers in literature have to die or their love would become that same different way. No loss.

Dear bajenaghe naghi

The protagonist, was two seperate beings, being between two cultures. In some ways the people we love are echos of our own personalities.

In seeing his father's suffering, when his mother cheated, he had opted for a safe bet but as such had settled for an option that did not reconcile with the other aspect of his nature and all the things that made his heart run fast.

Did he opt to stay with his wife because that was the safer option? and if so did he live the life that he should?