Rosie T.
by Rosie T.

I really want to talk about Light, for I have learned in these four years since Iran and I had our inevitable meeting that all things come from Light and all to Light return. And I intend to talk about Light but in order to do so it is also necessary to talk about Darkness.

And so, as I told you, I looked into the flames on September 11, 2001, and then I found Forough's poem about Light at the end of '03. These two "events" I singled out as significant markers on the initial journey, and as you can see, they were both suffused in Light, albeit Light of two very different kinds.

But there was a third "event" the following year, and that event was a person. And I owe everything to this person, who walked me through the Valleys of Dark and Light. And Attar's Seventh Valley, Fanaa, extinction, is known in English as the Valley of Death. This is not an accurate translation, but for the purposes of my personal journey, it is.

It is my stated intention in this blog to post the poems I wrote about my Iranian experiences, which form a collection called "Notebooks from the Persia Within. The title came from this person, this "event" who called the place of inner fear "the Persia Within." He said when we confront our fears, immediately we will know them, and they will vanish.

But this was not the case for me. My fears never vanished, instead they were transmuted into something golden. And it took a long, long time for that transformation to be completed. Nothing happened immediately, and nothing vanished. As the great Welsh poet Dylan Thomas says, "Dark is a way and light is a place."

This is the what I first wrote when I began my descent into the Way of Darkness.

Dakhmah *

From a hole I came

To a hole I go

We all walk through a tunnel.

The way is dark

The walls enclose

And fear becomes the tunnel.

Tower of silence tower of silence

Offer me to your air

Open me up and make me the carrion

Free me from my fear.

Soon soon fresh and clean

the sky shall meet the bone.

Iranzamin Father of birds

Expose me to your crows.


*The place where Zoroastrians dispose of their dead.


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by Rosie T. on


Rosie T.

You're both beautiful.

by Rosie T. on

I love you so much.



Jamshid now I understand..................

by Sasha on

Now, I understand why, how and when it happened to you. I still believe that we all have a right to decide what path to follow. We all have a right to exist.  We all have things that we didn't want to do that were awful but we did it to survive. Grant it my suffering pales in comparison to yours.


Like I said long ago I faced death and decided being afraid of fear was a waste of time. Instead facing it straight on, set me free of the fear. My focus changed to trying every day to become a better person while I still was on this earth.






Re: Fear

by jamshid on

"...when we confront our fears, immediately we will know them, and they will vanish..."


True... But how does one "confront" his/her fears? Knowing how is the key...


I was forced to learn how when I was serving in the Iran-Iraq war which was a living hell, literally. I didn't want to die and I did not believe in the religious BS about going to heaven either. The fear of death, and later the much worst fear of life with a dismembered body was omnipresent.


With time, when I genuinely "accepted" death, the fear of death vanished. When I genuinely "let go" of how my life would be if I stayed alive, the fear of living with a broken body vanished as well. In both cases, fear was replaced with an inner calm.


Note the use of the word "geniune". Also note that "accepting" is not the same as "wanting", and "letting go" is not the same than "giving up".


"The end of the world is non-existence...

Imagine you don't exist... but because you do, be happy!"



Preserved for all eternity.......:o)

by Sasha on

I am preserved for all eternity...........forever tragic.  :o)

Rosie T.

Men and Death.../ Mard o Zan

by Rosie T. on

Yes he gave interesting advice, Sasha.  The problem is underneath it all, I never met anyone so afraid in my entire life.  But all that doesn't change what he gave me...and what it cost...and what I have...and what I lost...


The etymology is interesting, btw. "Mard" is related to "mordan" and "marg", and the English mortal, and the Spanish muerte and mortal.  (Man may also be related here).  While "zan" is related to Russian Zhena (woman) but also to  gene, generate, generation, all that..also Greek "gyn" as in gynecology, androgyne, misogynist, and so forth, you see..zan should mean in the OLD ancestral language, PIE, Proto-Indo-European...our OLD ancestral language of the Steppe...

 zan should mean she who gives life and mard should mean he who shall die. And thus in MacBeth the quest for a man who is "not of woman born."  Because that one, perhaps, will not die...

Love you forever, Snow White-joon, soaked in collagen...stay just as you are.
Rosie T. Terriblement Triste Today


Interesting advice from said man.........

by Sasha on

 "He said when we confront our fears, immediately we will know them, and they will vanish. "

 Many men fear death and run from it, never wanting to confront it. By confronting it then is finally free to breath, to be and exist in this world.