Iranian woman slut; Iranian woman prude: blah blah blah

Balatarin
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sadaf_of_the_sea
by sadaf_of_the_sea
25-Aug-2007
 

So apparently more than anything else, the topic of my celibacy has become the excuse to re-hash that never-dying question: Do Iranian women put out too much, not enough, or just right?

Fact of the matter is, I can't answer that question, mostly because it's just not a real question. It's more a reflection of the commentator's own issues than anything real. But somehow, it never fails to generate much discussion *yawn*.

Thing is, by now, Iranians have lived for enough of a time in the US that trying to link their behavior to anything as banal as the place of their parents' origin is just a stupid exercise. Perhaps for the first generation immigrants these questions are still questions, but for people of my generation who were born and raised in all parts of the US, we get our culture from so many different parts that to say "you're a slut cause you're Iranian" or the opposite just doesn't hold. If I'm a slut, or a prude, it's probably as much the fault of Kansas where I grew up as Zanjan where my mom grew up, savvy?!

But going back to me, and my vow of celibacy, and whether when it's that time of the month, I'm going to go sex crazy or what the odds are, well, all I can say is let's wait and see.

And yes, this is totally voluntary and here's how it works:

Whether we like to admit it or not, having sex gets us into trouble. Not always, but enough. It also changes the perspective--for good and for bad. Here's an example:

So you meet a guy, he's funny, he's nice. He has kind eyes. He can hold his own and knows how to banter like an old pro. Wow, he's great. So you have drinks, you may have a meal or two. He tells you a funny story about his college days. You dazzle him with tales of your adventures. Hey, you may even bat an eyelash or two, tilt your head, play with your hair...

So then it's off to the sack. You kiss and sure enough, your entire face is wet from his slobbering but no matter, kissing can be taught. Then, odor of odors, he takes off his shoes and LORD, you want to gag. The smell, that rancid smell of feet that have spent too much time in shoes. Just shoot me here. And as if that's not enough, he crawls into bed WITH HIS SOCKS ON. oh yeah, yes he does.

And by now, you want to throw up that bottle of Merlot and well done steak you've had over that tittilating dinner. You keep kissing a bit but you can't go on. So you make up an excuse: Listen dear, I really like you. You're amazing but I've taken a vow of celibacy you see. and I'm not ready to break it. Can we be friends?!!

Except after that, everytime he calls, you had a gag reflex...So no friendship anymore, no more laughs, just the memory of a odor-ful night.

THAT, my friends, is just one reason to be celibate.

Balatarin
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more from sadaf_of_the_sea
 
samuel

I don't think so!

by samuel on Thu Aug 30, 2007 09:54 AM PDT

I give you some examples! I met some Iranian women in Germany and the Netherlands behaving and pretending that never have been touched by any men and every time we approached them, they behaved like intact Iranian angles but soon we found they already slept with couple of Westerners mostly to hang on them for their paper stuffs to stay in the country!! I am not against sex before marriage but for sure I love honesty more. I believe, some Iranian women should change the mentality and behave equally. It also doesn't mean that every Iranian man behaves right! They may be wanna sex like every man but want to be treated the same. Sex is healthy for ever one if its done properly. My personal experience shows Western girls are more honest.


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sadaf_of_the_sea

Do you think that maybe

by sadaf_of_the_sea on Wed Aug 29, 2007 09:01 PM PDT

Do you think that maybe Iranian men are also different? Or maybe that they are worried that men from the same culture will judge them differently. Plus, how do you know that when they meet non-Iranian men, they do everything but with Iranian men they don't?!


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samuel

Why?!

by samuel on Wed Aug 29, 2007 04:21 PM PDT

As an Iranian who has this experience of living of both in Iran and Europe and now in north America, I am wondering why Iranian women are thinking always different from other women every where! When they meet non- Iranian men, they do every thing in regards of sex with them but when it comes back to meet Iranian men, they always behave that they are under attack for sex or behave that they have never had sex!


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samuel

Why?!

by samuel on Wed Aug 29, 2007 04:20 PM PDT

As an Iranian who has this experience of living of both in Iran and Europe and now in north America, I am wondering why Iranian women are thinking always different from other women every where! When they meet non- Iranian men, they do every thing in regards of sex with them but when it comes back to meet Iranian men, they always behave that they are under attack for sex or behave that they have never had sex!


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sadaf_of_the_sea

Excellent Questions! I'm

by sadaf_of_the_sea on Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:12 AM PDT

Excellent Questions!

I'm going to start a new entry for this and quote you directly. So let's move up the blog entries.


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bahmani

Awesome!

by bahmani on Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:59 AM PDT

Here's a stereotype: Weak, wussy looking (Iranian) men, wearing clogs, too much cologne, shirts with stripes, thin wispy beards/moustaches/chest hair, tweazed eyebrows, greasy skin, channeling Kamran and Hooman, driving cars they can't afford without leasing, apparently get the girl. All the girls. Anyone got a decent explanation for that?


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sadaf_of_the_sea

No, noone shuts up on my watch

by sadaf_of_the_sea on Wed Aug 29, 2007 07:58 AM PDT

Aqa,

Think for a minute: If I were trying to shut you up, would I ask you a question?!! (See, we do it again, I ask you a question, i.e. I want you to keep saying things...) but let's move on to the next entry. and yes! let us start writing about Iranian men and sex. It's about time.


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bahmani

Did you say Deeper?

by bahmani on Tue Aug 28, 2007 05:14 PM PDT

So according to you women were deep into repression, and now they are deeper? So maybe, just maybe my theory, and daring to suggest it, of the existence of a stereotype may be true? But stop distracting her, we are almost getting somewhere, and the question is specifically Iranian women's appetite as compared to other women. But sex and Iranian men? Hmm. I do agree, that would certainly be interesting. Specifically to gauge how Iranian women react to Iranian men, or more importantly the kind of men who have the best success rate. I think you are onto something! Long debated among Iranian men is what type of guy is the most "dog", and how the techniques exactly work on Iranian women. Sounds like we should stop the debate and simply ask you folks! BTW your drink and garnish sounds amazing, and I totally respect and honor you for it!


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bahmani

No Bother!

by bahmani on Tue Aug 28, 2007 05:02 PM PDT

I find it interesting and am commenting on a blog. A blog is a conversation in which we all get to participate. Do you get it now? Or are you trying to shut me up? Let me know because I'm trying to have a conversation about sex, and you're distracting me.


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bagheAnar

Bahmani wins this round..

by bagheAnar on Tue Aug 28, 2007 10:52 AM PDT

Sorry Sadaf, but his advice is universal to all sexes with sex.. Get to know a person before "go off to the sack"

If you really judge a man by his "kind eyes" and dazzling stories.. Well aziz, your problem isn't sex. So quitting sex is not going to solve anything.

G'luck tho


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sepideh

The point is that the question is dumb

by sepideh on Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:38 AM PDT

I hope your response to this post is facetious, Bahmani? If not, way to support an Iranian woman talking openly about sexuality. You just pushed ten others deeper into repression.

Obvi (to me) the point of sadaf's post is not to answer the question but to posit that it's a dumb and tacky one: "Do Iranian women put out too much, not enough, or just right?" It's unimaginative and boring and backward, and the natural extension of this question is "How is it any of your business?" I want to know why no one is asking these questions of Iranian men. Now there's a post with some real viral (haha) potential.

How about asking something more like "What do Iranian women need to be safe and comfortable expressing themselves, sexually and otherwise?" Doesn't have quite the same ring, I admit, but at least it moves discussion out of the Dark Ages.

And by the way, I may have been born post-1980 and thus only legal to drink for a couple of years, but even I know that "real" Iranian women drink whatever they please. I'll have a Hendricks G&T with a slice of cucumber, please. Cute pun with the Shiraz bit at the end, though, I enjoyed that.


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sadaf_of_the_sea

Here's my question: Why

by sadaf_of_the_sea on Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:50 AM PDT

Here's my question: Why does this bother you so much?


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bahmani

Wow! What wonderfully stereotypical men you have dated!

by bahmani on Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:31 PM PDT

The question: Do Iranian women put out too much? posed by woman who's decided to go celibate, answers itself! What gets me is the "hit rate" you have chosen as your reasoning for going celibate has been men with stinky feet who don't know how to kiss? My! My! My! I would not say that is shallow as much as it's simply not very deep of you. And from what you described, all of this insight on all men, all from the first date too! When you decide to jump back in the pool again, possibly you should hold out just long enough to confirm at least a minimum level of quality, then exercise a skosh of patience (and judgment) before you give him a guided tour of Persepolis. And BTW, Merlot is so 1980! Real Iranian women drink Shiraz!


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