Do we approve of kindness in Iranian .com?

by Tahirih

My dear sweet Mona e-mailed me and said ,I think I should not be there because ,I am too kind.She said "I have witnessed so much pain in the past that my first reaction to any attack is to be kind to defy all that darkness.and I am not sure if it is a gift or curse?" But it can be seen as a sign of weakness or mental inferiority!!

She sounded so down and ashamed of her natural kindness!

I wrote to her saying ,my dear not every one can tolerate sweetness and true kindness. I told her that my generation(over 40) have suffered so much during and after revolution that we are all dark inside and just like vampires any ray of sunshine makes us to feel pain and it is blinding for us.

So I am asking you all Intellectuals!!The ones with big words,and all that political history,are you anoyed by the light of kindness??

Does it bother you? Do we want to stay bitter and dark for ever for the pain and suffering that we all endured?

Write to her and tell her that we all need to get used to love and kindness.We all need to be like her,not the other way around.

My sweet Mona, This is my answer: come back,please !

this is for you. Regards, Tahirih


Recently by TahirihCommentsDate
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more from Tahirih

God bless you..

by Anonymous (not verified) on

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy with their kindness and love. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom"

Dear Mona,
Whenever I read your writing it brings smile on my face... reminding me of sparkling and shining sweetheart such as yourself in my family...God bless you dear...

Dear Tahirih,
I loved your chosen music.


"A coward is incapable of

by Anonymousk (not verified) on

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."

--Mahatma Gandhi


Tahirih, you were not my target audience anyway

by n.zanincanadai on

Hi...Just here to defend my last poem. YES I CALL IT A POEM.

You want to talk criticism that's perfect. But when you say you don't know what to call my poem, knowing full well I call it a poem, is an insult to me. That's being unkind my dear.

Kindness isn't only in ghorbooneh oon sheklet besham. It's not using derision to belittle someone else's work. So Mona jan, if indeed you are kind, please don't let this brand of kind ness rub off on ya!

Besides, that was a very very sad piece I put in there. And I had an apology in advance for the offensiveness of the material....that was me being kind! I understand that many people aren't comfortable with putz and mutz, that's not my problem though.

But to say I wrote it only to be shocking and it's not even poetry is being unkind. I have no problem with that. I'm not insulted.

I just wanted to point this out. Sometimes I don't feel like tidying up and I just give my place the illusion of clean. The only person who doesn't fall for it is my mom because she goes straight for the tooth brush holder! So same thing here, don't have an illusion about your own kindness.

Enough lecturing me please. I'm not even sure if some of these wonderful people here know what kindness is! Or if it even matters.

It's all cool. I just don't like it here anymore. E U



Thank you all .

by Tahirih on

I am in a rush to get out of the house , so I will not make my replies individualy.This is not due to lack of respect for your replies but lack of time today.

So thank you all ,for kind, realistic hopefull, and also for not kind ones.I will e-mail her to read them if not done so yet.

Take care all,




My dear n.zanincanadai:

by Tahirih on

""A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding….""

I am for real, my pain and suffering is for real, but what happens to us is 10% and how we deal with it is 90%.Trust me I am not  perfect ,but far far from it, I get angry and make hurtfull comments too,but usually I addmit to it and appologize,just like that conversation with Mobarez,you can go back and read it.

BUT I do not regret what I tell to people who openly justify and ask for killing of Bahais.As a bahai I have lots of progress to do and I am not sure if I can attain it ,in my life time! 

The subjet was Mona she is always kind ,unlike me.And as far as judging you ,God forbid if I juged you,that was far from my intention.I can see your intelligence ,usually when the clouds of anger are not covering it.And must say ,you are very sharp and I like that in you.BUT,I have to give you an example, I did not care for your last poem or whatever you call it.I thought it had no artistic value and the point of it was to shock the reader. which I am sure you accomplished it.

Did I leave you a comment to tell you my opinion? No , because in my view my comment would have not changed anything about it,or your view of what is art and what is verbal porn( does this sound harsh to you ?).

You can do the same to the owner of that heavy leg,just do not say anything, since the person can not do anything about it,can she?

But if a person is openly asking for killing of a minority group I will interfere because, I may be able to change his mind ,or at least inform others.

See this is my philosophy in life,this is how I choose  my battles.I am not , asking you to be like me or stating that this is the answer,  just trying to explain my self to you.

I am glad you will stay around to read ,if you catch me anywhere criticizing anyone about a characteristic  that is inborne please remind me.Of course ignorance is not in born and it is the result of lack of moral education.(This comment is not intended for you n.zanincanadai), I wish inner peace for you.







Faranak I agree with Nazanin Canadai

by Anonymouse on

If you put a picture of someone's foot IN FOCUS you should expect people to react.

If you put a regular picture of a person and someone says something negative, I'd consider that offensive. But when you focus and put a picture of someone's foot or cleavage, then people can comment on it, otherwise why are you FOCUSING on the foot or the cleavage?

How do you even know that person got offended by Nazanin's comment? Did she email you and asked for her picture to be taken down or the commentator punished?!

Generally speaking people can comment in this website, good and bad comments. If you don't want comments lockout the comment option. Or better yet delete the comments since you have the option. You do NOT need to give a reason, just delete it and be done with it.

Anyway, everyone is so sensitive and we forget we are all ADULTS not teenagers. We don't need advices on how to behave.

iraj khan

Please be kind and send an email to Clinton

by iraj khan on


This is a critical juncture in US history. Therefore, as Americans, we must speak out with a clear voice to ensure that President Bush’s cowboy diplomacy leaves the White House when he does, and is not emulated by the next US President.

Click here to take action: //

It only takes a moment to make your voice heard!  Personalize and send the below e-mail to Senator Clinton’s campaign headquarters today!

Thank for your kindness 


Kindness isn't always the proper attitude

by Mehdi on

For example, if I see a guy with a knife in his hand moving towards someone and obviously attempting to hurt that person for no good reason, should I be kind to him? I don't think so. It is not rational to be kind to someone who is damaging others. So be able to be unkind sometimes, when it is honestly necessary.


listen ...

by Souri on

We are all Iranian. We are always proud of being Iranian and always vent ourselves about our history, our civilization, our past, our philosopher  our this or our that , isn't it ? So dear all, let's love each other as WE are WHO, make Iran. We are all here, gathering together under one name which make us proud : Iran. Who you think has made this Iran  which we are so proud  of? We made it, our parents made it. Our parents made our history. Our history, our people, our society, bad and good, is US. This is us, dear. Like it or not, we are all like each other. Our parents resembled to each other and we resemble to each other and to them too. So, let's accept each other's bad and good behavior. Don't get mad at each other. PS, Bahram: There's no fight here. The subject was Mona's sensitivity to our behavior (which is well founded) and Nazanine canadai (who is a very good girl and has good reputation here in Canada) bring up her discussion with KfRavon as an example and then .....everybody mix and much everything as always !!) So go to bed tranquil and don't worry.


Tahirih Khanum thank you for

by Seagull (not verified) on

Tahirih Khanum thank you for trusting us and sharing your concern with us.

The Poet says,
to some love is just a word
a feast full of sand
could thou see a sowrd
in the lovers hand?

Not everyone is endowed with the gift of love but all are dependent on and needy of it.
We need to ignore the hateful and the ignorant and educate whenever possible or conducive.
The good souls way outnumber the vicious few.

Bahram the Iranian

paracticing what we preach

by Bahram the Iranian on

I dont know what hapened here?who made an offensive comment?who got offended?however I know one thing ,There has been blogger who from time to time used  abusive language in few occasision on me, she has called me every names in the book so badly that sometimes she had to go back and edit herself. She dared me to fight calling for an all out war (funny !!).

this posting sounds like Israel lectures Iran on human right!!!!



So many judges playing the victim

by n.zanincanadai on

Tahirih, Are you for real???? No kidding I'm hurt. Aren't you? We're all hurt. We've been through war, revolution and immigration. What's there not be hurt about???? And that doesn't even include personal issues like parents dying on us when we need them most. And other issues.

What's your point? Some people consider me ablah. So what? I don't care. It usually takes one to know one. Besides, the problem these days is that we all think what we have to say, write or photograph is a lot important than it really is. That's why a few extra pounds on a foot is such a big deal, when it really shouldn't be.

If you think there is anyone out there who is truely happy with themselves you are not living in a realistic world. I am very happy with myself. And you don't know me but I've acheived a lot, helped a lot, created a lot and destryoed a lot. But we're all the same. And sometimes, insecurities do creep up. And sometimes, we aren't all that happy. But if you were to take your philosophy, then it would apply to our beloved photographer too! As well as Mona jan.

My most powerful hurt at this present time is the hair on someone's chest. But I'm also incredibly Happy because I'm getting the biggest tax return EVER.

And "hurtful" is up for interpretation! I would say those who are hurt or offended easily are least happy with themeslves.

But I don't take myself as seriously as some others here do. One would think they're waiting to recieve a Pulitzer prize.

Have a great time analyzing others. I'll be around to read. For me, at the end of the day, honesty is more important than anything. But I lie a lot so...I better stop now.


Mona your words remind the

by Ali Najafi (not verified) on

Mona your words remind the best that is within us. Please keep writing. Obviously your Faith impacts you and your perspective is one that is not often heard. Your blogs bring the best out in our thoughts.


N.zanincanadai I don't think you are ablah,you are hurt...

by Tahirih on

I used to be really " kineh jo" ,But life has thought me that people and their reactions whether good or bad, mean or kind is the result of their life experiences and what they have done with the pain or joy of that experience.

So ,I believe that ,no one would make a hurful comment if they are truly happy with themselves.

We have to love ourselves before loving others. Not only our friends but our foes.My hero is Mona Mahmodnejad who kissed the rope that was going to take her young life.I can not be as forgiving or kind ,but  ,trying to get close to that station.

There is a sense of freedom when we do the opposit.


O COMPANION OF MY THRONE! Hear no evil, and see no evil, abase not thyself, neither sigh and weep. Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great; and wish not the abasement of anyone, that thine own abasement be not exposed. Live then the days of thy life, that are less than a fleeting moment, with thy mind stainless, thy heart unsullied, thy thoughts pure, and thy nature sanctified, so that, free and content, thou mayest put away this mortal frame, and repair unto the mystic paradise and abide in the eternal kingdom for evermore." with Respect for you, Tahirih 


to kfravon

by 123 (not verified) on

you have been in the position that you could delet 'inappropriate' comments (interpreted by you), but when it comes to yourself, you easily call someone "ablah" (for any reason) and no one can delet it. Its misuse of power and its totally unfair.


I don't get it

by Abarmard on

Chera ghahr kardeh?

Would you like me to make a video singing: bargard bargard pashimun mishi aakhar?


Yes I am an ablah. Please

by n.zanincanadai on

Yes I am an ablah. Please ignore me. Some of you are really on a much higher level than me and I can't ever catch up to you. Because my philosphy is different.

I think that if i take a picture of a stick and post it some where public, I should have the zarfiat to put up with different perceptions of that stick. I thought a foot was too fat for a shoe. Sue me! But a picture of a foot doesn't leave much room for response. One either likes it or doesn't. I shouldn't have commented. There's no law telling me that everyone cares about what I say. Clearly the contributor didn't care for my remarks. Lesson learned.

But to the photgrapher: If you are worried about taking a picture of a person's body part, foot or breast, and you think she would recognize herself and be hurt, why would you invade her privacy that way to begin with? I suspect the answer might be because you found a subject that was interesting to you and you clicked. Well you should have enough zarfiat to here what I, one of the people you posted the pictures for, think about what I see. I had a couple of things to say about the breasts but I decided not to. Good choice.

In any case, it's really of no importance at all. Like I said, file me in the ablah category and ignore me.



how nice... well almost

by one of many Mona fans (not verified) on

I am glad so many people are so kind and friendly towards Mona. She deserves respect for putting up with all the rudeness and impatience she sees here...
it's true there will always be the kinds of Red Wine and n.zancanadai to comment with something completely off, inconsiderate and hurtful, but the majority show they care and they understand how important it is to have nice people around.

I hope she reads all these nice words and stay our Mona ANYWAY :-)


Mona my dear.....

by Majid on

Excuse my French but, DON"T BE A WUSS !

This virtual community is no different than any other real community around you, with a vast array of positive, negative, rude, decent, dumb and intellectuals ........"I'm the rude, negative and dumb one"!

SO....what's next ? you're going to stay home and close the doors on yourself?

Don't worry my dear, don't leave your "Sangar" ! majority of people here enjoy your good heart ,warm and constuctive comments!



Mona jan: ANYWAY People are

by Anonymousk (not verified) on

Mona jan:


People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies successful anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable honest and frank anyway.
People love underdogs but follow only top dogs
...follow some underdog anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you try to help people anyway.
If you give the world the best you have, you may get kicked in the teeth
...but give the world the best you have

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

--Kent Keith


Thank you Tahirih!

by kfravon on

I don't usually spend a lot of time on these blogs, but I have read a few here and there and Mona's kind words have caught my attention in the past. In fact she is a breath of fresh air. (so are you Tahirih)

Thanks for your response to Nazanincanadaei!

Now that she brought up the subject, and I happened to see it on this blog,  I did not 'threaten' her to remove her untasteful comment, nor did I 'order' her to remove it. (I admit I felt the comment was uncalled for. Just like you said tahirih, those feet belong to someone. It may be anonymous to you and me, but she would certainly recognize it!)

I appreciated that she removed the foot comment right away and I emailed her and 'thanked' her for it. She then responded with even more harsh comments!!  I figured javaabe ablahaan khaamooshist, and stopped right there. 

Mona jaan, you got me more curious than ever to go and read your pieces and take in some of your positive energy. Come back when you're ready.



N.zanincanadai,there is a person attached to that leg!!

by Tahirih on

Why is it easy to find faults rather than finding strenghts?Why do we see the dead dog rather than his white teeth?Why do we see the half emptyness of a cup rather than the full part?Why do we look at differences rather than similarities?...........

Is it inate or learned behaviour?I do not know the answer, but all I know is that for years we did the negative and we are not really ahead.Are we? so lets try the other side of the coin and see how , tolerance and positivity and unity feels !

And to answer you N. zanincanada, lets try random acts of kindness instead of random hurtfull comments.

Peace on Earth.



Mona, Stay put and contribute

by jimzbund on

As Jesus said: you thorw the seeds some fall on the rock and some fall on the fertile soil and grow. Kindness and friendliness are some virtues that are praiseworthy but some misunderstand it as  sign of weakness. Please continue your work and don't get discouraged or intimidated by some negative remarks from some who haven't experienced love and friendship. We Iranians need more of the feminine input and participation to soften the macho chauvinistic personality that we have been brought up with.

More power to our Iranian sisters,





Bund, Jimz Bund


Mona Jan: This is for

by Anonymousk (not verified) on

Mona Jan: This is for you:

"People are often unreasonable, Illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, You will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, Someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, People will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, And it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God; It never was between you and them anyway."

Be Blessed,

--Ken keith


Jahanshah Rashidian

To Mona

by Jahanshah Rashidian on

Mona belongs to a group of people who seems practicing love for others. Her unbounded kindness is a principle of her faith and philosophy.

In the Christian tradition, we would recognise but not practice it as "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". In many faiths, the principle does not exist.

In some of her comments on my articles, she could distract me from the rough world of politics into a soft word of passion and tolerance. She helped me to tolerate those who attack me and forget their personal attacks.

In our tough world, especially for the three decades of our history, her tolerance, passion, and love for others do not seem to something that people readily expect.

We all on this site find it easier to be tolerant to each other, and she is one the pioneers of what we all need.


"We" do NOT approve of kindness.

by Anonymouse on

Last time "we" approved anything it was Khomeini. That should tell you how much "we" know. Now "we" are all scattered and are even less clueless!

So Mona if you are listening find your friends and talk to them. You know who your friends are.

If you want "more" friends then as we say in Farsi, the one who has a bigger driveway has more snow to shovel, something like that ;-)


Bring Mona Back

by Mehran (not verified) on


I think you should come back and even if people attack you that does not mean they hate you. They are just expressing their opinion in a hard way. You need to let it go and shrug it off. Let them get tired of attacking you instead. You will eventually develop a thick skin. I did.

Red Wine


by Red Wine on

Mona kieh ? chesh shodeh mageh ???


Re: Mona

by Iranian- on

Mona is a good person and she should continue her presence in .


Welcome to the Club !

by Souri on

Although I might say first: I don't understand the meaning of the subject, still have to say I like Mona and her writing. Here's a forum. some people like poetry and spiritual's, others like political, some like social discussions, other like ethnical...etc. etc. Not everybody is interested to everything. We had some people here who were playing with "every blogs" insulting everybody, every religion or belief, just to attract all reader's attention. Mona jan, if you think Iranian.comers toady, don't approve of kindness, then I invite you to go back and read the blogs of nov/december 07 trough jan/feb08.... Then you may realize how far we came from that atmosphere  of hate and animosity .... Just read some of the conversation we (me, Bruce, Ben, Sasha, Rosie..and others) had with JJ. Here, I must say how much I admire JJ and his visionary sight, as he worked hard (very hard) to bring the situation to the calm climate of today. Sometime, I was even too harsh with him (I admit it !!) We were so mad at JJ who was always asking us to "practice tolerant"...Now I would like to say the same thing to you dear: "Practice tolerant, please"  Wish you will stay with us, Mona jan. Now as everyone send a sound here, I follow other Friends and send a beautiful song of Shajarian for you: //