Blind & cool

I have a strong will to go beyond barriers to have a good relationship


Blind & cool
by reza lizard

I am a 23 year old Iranian blind boy looking for better relationship. I have always wanted to write about my life but I don't know how to start. I was just 13 years old when I approached a girl for the first time, a girl with soft voice and good sense of humor and every thing that can be desirable for a man.

I asked her to go out but she refused. Her reason was her parent and police. I told her we are both blind, who can find out we are friends?  At the end of the year she wrote me a letter and said "you are the best of the boys that a girl can reach. I wish you success and a good life."

After that it has become a question for me, if she didn't love me what could that letter mean?

Next year I found another girl in the school for the blind. Let me explain that the school is divided for the boys and girls. I was afraid of approaching that girl because I thought I would get the same answer from her.

Next year I left the school for the blind to high school. I found a very good friend. He took me everywhere and I met a lot of girls. I have never been shy boy during my life but they behaved respectfully with me but they were very intimate with my friend.

I found out that some thing is wrong with me and it was my blindness that became a barrier for having a good date. We are separate from the girls in the school for the blind so we couldn't approach them. And if anyone wants to do it they made fun of him as it happened to me and we couldn't trust each other. We are like scissorhands in that movie. When a boy wants to make fun of a girl, take a blind boy's hand as an excuse of helping him and bump him into the girl to laugh.

When a blind man wants to cross the street and people want to help him, they  say "good for you that you can not see these girls and remain innocent." You know I would like to do this crime and go to hell. In the best condition they assume a blind person is a genius and say he is very talented but I want to get rid of this goddamn brain. I am a human before going to school or university and become a genius.

I got blind 6 months after my birth, not by my own will. I don't know what to name it. Am I unlucky?

It has always been my wish for the beginning of the new year that no one born disabled  would be born and all the disabled people would improve.

"Rang e Khoda" (The Color Of Paradise)" and "Beed-e Majnoon" (The Willow Tree) are two movies made by director Majid Majidi, both are about a blind man. The first one about a 14 year old boy and the second one about a 45 year old man. If we assume that the boy grew up and became 45 years old, you see a space of 30 years. Wasn't he young? We see that a man got married and has a daughter.

I am curious about every thing from women's body to the upcoming U.S. presidential election campaign, sports, history etc. An attractive, handsome, and really cool boy who always wishes to act like Behrouz Vossoughi in his real life.

If it is true that "where there is a will there is a way", I have a strong will to go beyond these barriers to have a good relationship. Who the hell said a blind person should date a disabled person? Of course I don't care about it but what I want is just to have a good relationship.

So if there is anyone who wants to help me or date me please send me e-mail to

I wish you the best of all. 


Recently by reza lizardCommentsDate
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more from reza lizard

Who is Nazanin Canadai?

by Anonymouse on

Dear Reza Lizard, Nazanin Canadai is a nice woman about thirty something years old and you can talk to her in this very article.  Your own article. Ask her your questions and she will respond to you.  Or if you want you can email her at You can also talk to the rest of us by posting comments in your article.  This artticle.

reza lizard

who is nazanin canadai

by reza lizard on

hi thanak you because of your comment on my post but i couldn't get your idea could you please tell me who is nazanin how can i find her? on which website which link? yes i am in iran esfahan? bye.


Funny and cute...

by urstruly (not verified) on

"...If you get disappointed you throw your shoulders up and dance anyway...."

I like how you write...




by Anonymouse on

Bar and discos are good too.  Anywhere is good.  As long as you look.  As far as being disappointed not lazy, well it is almost the same thing.  You're disappointed so you don't feel like trying again.  Whereas you should try try try again.  You keep your chin up and have fun and keep trying.  You keep trying until you get old and go to a nursing home.  Then you try again with the new people you've met at the nursing home.  Catch my drift?!

You put your dancing shoes on and go looking.  If you get disappointed you throw your shoulders up and dance anyway.

As for a Dear Abby column if I knew how to shovel I would have shoveled for myself earlier.  Plus I don't think we need a column although if anyone wants to by all means.  Just look around and you find plenty of good advice and conversations.



by urstruly (not verified) on

Btw, have you considered doing a relationship advise column? You sound pretty practical and reasonable.



To Amouse...

by urstruly (not verified) on

Actually you meet people at bars and discos too, just like I am normal and I may go to a bar, there are other "normal" people too that go.

I agree with you though about friend's of friends and parties.

I dont think it's being "lazy" I think it's being a little disappointed and tired :(


urstruly going out

by Anonymouse on

Going out doesn't mean going to bars and discos.  It means looking everywhere, bars, online personals, parties, work, friend of a friend, etc.  It means not being lazy and trying to get dates even though you know it is not going to work.  You can learn something new in every date.

It is difficult to fall in love on a first date with first impression.  Our first impression is going to be of imperfections.  If perfection was going to happen, which is what many young and beautiful people experience early in their lives, it would have happened by now. 

So Brad Pitt or Miss America is not going to be our date.  Some average Joe or Jane Doe is going to be our date.  We have to look closer at him or her and go beyond the physical appearance.  The one test I suggest you take is to see if he or she is a nut case.  If s/he isn't then you have a deal.  Lower the bar and see if that person can grow on you.  This is what I mean by looking.  Looking for what may be available, not what would be nice to have.



by urstruly (not verified) on

I dont know about going out there and looking, I've given up on doing that, for me it did not work. And, like you said it came to you just as you were about to give up. I've heard that a lot.

I think, like you said, we just have to find other forms of love, be happy for what we have, and be calm.

Now I remember those cars. I haven't been to Iran for almost 30 years!!! :o


Reza Lizard

by Anonymouse on

I think we got off track from the article.  You wanted us to "help" you or "date" you by sending you an email to  I for one can not date you but how can I help you?  For those who want to date you, are you in Iran?

Maybe we can help you by giving you tips and showing you tricks to find women.  Nazanin Canadai volunteered to teach you some tricks.  Are you interested in learning some tricks? 

You must ask by using your own user name so we don't give away free advice to strangers.  You also need to answer some of our questions so we can give you correct advice.


on second thought

by Anonymous77 (not verified) on

There is something fishy about this sentence:
"When a boy wants to make fun of a girl, take a blind boy's hand as an excuse of helping him and bump him into the girl to laugh."



by Anonymouse on

I have been there and just as I thought it is not going to happen, it happened and I found love.  As Nazanin Canadai said in her comments below, you have to look for it though.  Az to harekat, az khoda baraket. By the way, I should correct my comment to say that love in all forms will knock on your door one day, not just the love of the opposite sex.

That car is Jian or some spell it as Xian.  It is based on France's Citroen but with Iranian ingenuity in the 1970s.  You have never seen it? They are - still - plenty of them in Iran.  They are 2-cyliner, roll-top convertible (ceiling only), 4-door, hybird and fantastic suspension (if you know anything about Citroen).  It feels like you are in a waterbed when you are driving it.


To Anonymouse

by urstruly (not verified) on

Thanks for the summary of the NY politics gossip. Some of us who live out of the country are not always aware of the latest!

Oh, and I like what you wrote here: "Anyway Reza finding love is hard for everyone. Many go through their lives not finding love. By love I mean love of opposite sex. They find love in other things and continue with their lives. You never know when love knocks on your door. Hopes and aspirations are the reasons we go on living. Have hope."

Sounds like you've been there and are doing that ;) I know I am :)

What is that picture of the car? Just curious.



by urstruly (not verified) on

What a bunch of nice, responsive people on this posts. I'm touched. How nice, we should always be supportive of each other like this.

Great. You guys all sound like a family. Nice.


There is at least one more movie/documentary -- The Apple

by Anonymouse on

There is at least one more movie/documentary -- The Apple.  It was made by Samira Makhmalbaf (16 years old at the time) after news broke that a father had imprisoned her 2 daughters until the age of 14 or 15 (forgot the exact age), no schools or nothing.

The girls were actually twins and Samira went to the house to capture their story while the girls hadn't change. The father was a 65 year old man with no skills and very very poor, dependant on people's charity and the mother was blind.  The reason was actually the father didn't know any better and since the mother was blind he thought she couldn't take care of them in his absence.  And with so many bad people in the world that he was afraid would harm his family.  Extreme poverty exasperted the situation but the father didn't do it because of the reasons rumored in the media.  The film won many awards.

Anyway Reza finding love is hard for everyone.  Many go through their lives not finding love.  By love I mean love of opposite sex.  They find love in other things and continue with their lives.  You never know when love knocks on your door.  Hopes and aspirations are the reasons we go on living. Have hope.

On a lighter note, you mentioned you follow American presidential politics.  Are you also following the news of the blind man who became the New York Governor after the previous Governor resigned his post after news broke that he paid for several hookers over the years? Well, in just ten days we've learned the new Governor despite having an attractive wife has had sexual affairs with SEVERAL other women.  First he said it was one woman and he ended it years ago, now we've learned they were more women and he had an affair as late as a month ago!  He may resign too as a result of all of these plus spending tax payers' money on his shenanigans!



by sanazi on

reza jaan, thats was a beautiful piece u wrote and i hope that all ur dreams come to life this year. also despite any disability that u may be facing, always reach ur potential in all aspects of your life, including in your love life. good luck and be blessed!


confident, Reza is

by Anonymous000 (not verified) on

Reza, you're ahead of the game already by being so clear about who you are, what you are after, and what could possibly be in your way. If at 23 you're where you are, not only because of your text but more importantly, because of your courage to write on an open forum about somethigng that is still considered private by many, and also because of your balanced view between self-victimization and denial, I'm sure nothing is waiting for you at the end of the road, but joyful success!

But to Bita, this very piece clearly targets the superficial view of the public that blind/visually-impaired people are this or that. My friend, blind/v-i people, like people in general, could be confident or not, could be intelligent or not, could be pretty/handsome or not, could be articulate or not, friendly or not, kind or not, rich or not, etc. etc. So a general statement that blind/v-i people are confident only reinforces the stigma and general lack of awareness already abundant in our society.

Humanity has a long way to come to terms with 'difference' after all.


people with visual impairment are confident

by bita ria (not verified) on

people with visual impairment are usually very brave and confident. May be they come across as confident because they don't see things that come intimidating to everyone else. There is definitely a lot of admiration for them.

You didn't say much about your story though, i personally like to learn more about your achievements...



by Anonymous77 (not verified) on

If you learn to draw, sketch or paint, you can ask for a live model, to ehem explore the female body. Would be really interesting to see how you 'see' it.


Dating is a tough one for most people

by Anonymous77 (not verified) on

It really isn't just those viewed as disabled, although I truly believe in people of all sorts simply being "differently abled".
Relationships are weird, weird, weird.
The trick is to be good at something. Why don't you use the fact that your other senses are heightened, play an instrument in a band, or create a canvas of art with different textures and words written in Braille (would make the rest of us learn another language) or as you are doing now, become a writer?
You'll soon be spoilt for choice.

Blind people like zillions of others, have to kiss a lot of frogs before they find their prince/ss.

Good luck



by mazfaz on

really liked your "neveshtar". I don't want to offend you, but how can you type stuff on your keyboard and go on the internet and stuff. isn't it really hard for you?




by javaneh29 on

Hey Reza

I am so impressed with what you have written. Bravo. You see further than many sighted people can ever manage and because of this I am confident that you will find what it is you seek and deserve to have.

When you find this lucky young woman she will love you for what is in your heart and nothing else will matter.



 I just read your article

by Feshangi on

 I just read your article and while I was reading it, I could not help myself  smiling throughout.  You are an amazing young man with a bright future. You are smart, have a great attitude toward life with an inquisitive mind, and not to mention, very handsome. But please do not hurry to find your love. Take your time and be patient.  It takes time, but you will find your true love, probably when you are not looking.  It is going to hit you like a Mack truck, and you will "see" her beauty and feel her love for you. Meanwhile enjoy your life. You may be missing your sight, but you are not blind to what is going on around you. And that is the main thing. All of us are handicapped in one way or another.  We all need to compensate for our weakness by drawing on our strong attributes.  



Jahanshah Javid

Love is around the corner

by Jahanshah Javid on

Hey Reza, you're cool, confident, intelligent, and passionate. And most important of all, you have a very big heart. A very special girl will discover you soon enough.