POETRY

Very nice

full of sensations and a bit like a black and white, art movie. Very interesting. Thanks

Thanks Afshin

I usualy use different mediums to convey the poetry of the everyday. This was the first with a poem.

Question

It would make sense to move and we will move but sometimes you have to wait.

Perhaps the tale of why I do what I do would be another poem, but this time it would need to be inspired by an epic rather than Haiku. LOL!

Ramin

With that much on the road, doesn't it make sense to move? I mean nine years, four hours a day? Makes no sense to waste all that time going from point A to point B.

Thanks Ari

The encouragement I get from people like you and Azadeh is what keeps me going.

I have been commuting from Cambridge to London for almost nine years and I spend 4 hours a day travelling. Initially it used to drive me mad then I developed a zen attitude towards the whole thing and started photographing and writing, reading and sometimes drawing sketches of the land escapes and fellow commuters.

So I thought the haiku style was very appropriate for this particular situation as when I changed my atitude I found that every day and moment has its own uniqueness.

Your Poem

رامین جان نباید خودت را دست کم بگیری شعر خوب همین است با این عوال و اشیا زندگی روزمره به قول مایاکفسکی بیان شعر باید به بالاترین درجه رسا و صریح باشد یکی از مهمترین وسایل تبیین تصویر است (ایماژ) . و این شعر مملو از تصویر است که خواننده را با خود به همان فضایی می برد که خودت در حین ساختن شعرت تجربه می کردی و ما هم آن را نه با دقت تو بلکه با دقتهای خومان تجربه می کنیم. نیما از تکرار بیزار بود و این شعر هم با تجربه ای تازه ساخته شده

درود بر تو

ramintork

Thank you Azadeh

You are as always very kind and generous.

Dear Ramin

I simply *loved* your poem. And I think this title is much better than the one on your blog.

Cheers,

Azadeh

Dear Amit

I think you have been a victim of my experimental poetry!

The structure I used here is that of Japanese Haiku 3 lines (although I have not always stayed with the structure).

With Haiku you paint a picture with words (It is a form of impressionism), and I’ve combined that with Khayam’s nihilism. 

Haiku captures a moment of life in this case comparing the bouncing of head against the Window or zigzagging through the crowds. The flint dances between the two worlds of air and water or in commuter’s case the world of dreams and awakening until it reaches a sunken destination leaving a paper just as the flint only left some most clay.

Here is an example of Haiku by someone else:

Late showers falling.

Tiny blossoms open and

greet the new warm sun. 

I do find that with our traditional culture people tend to feel like a Bull in a china shop whenever they are taken out of their comfort zone.

However without taking risk or experiments no progress is ever made and people produce craft rather than Art so I hope I can convince you to be more experimental.

Feel free to use any combination of words to make poetry and please do get the entire world to write poetry that way the world will become a beter place.

Finally I can only wish you a happy Seezdeh Bedar and a merry April fools day.

Is this a poem?

Any combination of words can't be constituted as poem, otherwise the entire population of earth are poets. If this is the standard, I can say many poems a day easily.