POETRY

My Beloved!

What are you exactly?

To me perhaps,

The distant memories

Of a rowdy child.

The goosebumps I had

In the cold dark cinema

With a frosty Pepsi in my hand.

Or perhaps,

The garlic flavor of bologna

The orange of Fanta

The salt of doogh.

You’re the burning sensation

The sting of punishment

In the palms of my hands

The painful strikes

Of the merciless sticks

For sloppy homework

And being late to school.

You’re the words I misspelled

When I was dictated to.

You’re scattered in the air

In the sweet steam of the baked beets

On the street vendor’s cart.

You’re the stripes of the plastic balls

I kicked as a child.

You’re as dark

As gooey as the melted tar

Stuck to the sole of my bare feet

In the summer heat of Ahwaz.

You’re my classmates

I fought once in a while.

You’re my sore throats

My doctor excuse

My ruthless teachers

In third grade and four

The slap on my face

The excruciating pain

When a pencil was squeezed

Between my young fingers.

You’re my first day of spring

The New Year’s joy

The aroma of roasted mixed nuts

The haft seen, the hyacinth

The cash I received

The thirteen days of happiness.

You’re as red as poppies,

Blanketed the outskirts of our town.

You’re the scent of breads,

My aunt baked every week,

On the roof of her house.

I dodged your wrath

Every time my angry mother

Threw a shoe at me

Or an orange peel or a spatula

Now that I think of it,

The spatula, I didn’t dodge

It did hit me, right in the forehead.

And I cherished your mercy

Your kindness

And compassion

In the lap of my favorite aunt

After every punishment.

And I enjoyed your loans

From your petty cash,

The little change

I borrowed from the same aunt

That I never repaid.

You’re my feverish youth

The one stolen kiss

I swear to God, only one

From my first love

That forbidden touch

At the age of fourteen!

The mischievous innocence

That scandalous affair

And the long family feud

That happened afterward.

You’re in the books

I read in solitude

The new horizon I saw

Illicit ideas, contraband thoughts

The taboo subject of your life

And certainly all of mine

Freedom for all.

Then came the turmoil

The revolution

The decisive moments

Of my life and yours

A rush in my veins

An ideal

To make a dream come true

I was there

With millions in the streets

In the heat of an upheaval

In the labyrinth of Tehran.

We made the change

Some say for better

Some say for worse

When the fever quenched

And the dust settled

Our hopes dashed

Despair

Fear

Sorrow

And terror

Was left behind.

Then it came the time

To leave you behind

I had to survive

Surely you understand.

To live in a foreign land

One day I hoped

To call my home,

Yet, after so many years

That day never came.

My Beloved!

You’re an enigma

A tall shadow

An innocent angel

Born in limbo

Of my hazy dreams.

I’m intoxicated

By an exotic mélange

Of sentiments

Some I don’t comprehend

Some I don’t dare to share

Some I never had before

And

Some I may never have again.

Saeed
www.tavakkol.info