Anahid Hojjati

Dear yolanda, yes , cats can sound like babies...

Dear yolanda, no, I am not super woman. Poetry does not take that much time. Compared to writing stories and articles, poetry is much faster. Once you have the idea, writing the actual poem is fast. There are times that I keep editing the poem but usually the proces of writing poems is fast.

Thanks for the video.  It was interesting to listen to this guy's journey.

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 Hi Anahid,

      You are smart, physics is a hard subject and so is poetry-writing! You are a superwoman! I got woken up by neighbor's cats many times......they have this sad baby-like crying......I guess it was their wedding nite! Did you watch this video?

//iranian.com/main/2010/nov/mohommad-favaxeh

The guy said for Iranians you have to study medicine, Engineerings, or law......similar to the stuff we discussed here.....he ended up owning a cab company!

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Dear Mehrdad,

    Wow! Your videos are very impressive......you are not afraid to pursue your dreams! Great job!! Iranians are very smart and brave! It must be a very gratifying feeling to build a plane and fly it...........just be very careful.....you can't afford one single mistake....your wife and parents must have admonished you thousands of times........I visited Aspen, CO 4 times...last time 2009.....there is a John Denver memorial.....some rocks on display with his song lyrics

......the dude bought a plane built by Burt Rutan.......the rest is history.......

Yes, it is great to be self-sufficient....painting is way easier than building a plane! :O)

Please take care!

P.S. Sorry I have a silly layperson's question: is there any Mehrmom? only Mehrdad and Mehrban?

Dear Yolanda,

As a clarification, I should add that the trip was not to Everest or any of the 14 eight thousand meter peaks. It was to Terich Mir which is in Pakistan. On the hind side, she should have let me go and If I am ever born again, I would want to climb it.

BTW, aren't you glad you painted your own room, it is a great feeling to be self sufficient. Isn't it.

Anahid jaan,

It is amazing what transformation takes place when one becomes a parent. It is scary….

And as for the plane goes, it is quite safe and fun. I flew it to Atlanta and back about a month ago and it was fun. Here is a couple of videos of the first flight and first landing.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGBfwggAJz4

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN8O0UjB1y8&feature=related

Mehrdad

Dear yolanda, I once had an Iranian Calculus teacher

yolanda, I once had an excellent Iranian Calculus teacher. I was good at his class since I had taken a Physics class before that Calculus which actully needed that level of math so I had learned some of the concepts in that Physics class.

As far as Bavafa's cats, I like where you wrote:"it is funny that you have passed your parents' protectiveness to your cats! LOL!"

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Dear Anahid,

Some American parents abandan their kids........they don't do enough to push for education......I run into whole bunch of lazy American students....they either don't do homework or they do fake homework......that is why Iranians have way more education than Americans.....I took a Calculus refresher class.....the teacher is Iranian.....on the 1st test, the class average is 50% 'cause the students either didn't homework or just copied the solution manual....LOL!...the Iranian teacher was furious and gave the whole class a good scolding! OMG! He raised his voice! He looked really mad...I got shaken up by an Iranian guy's rage...:O)

   Sometimes, when an American needs money, (s)he probably has to go to the bank and borrow intead of going to the parents........

You said:

Iranian parents are generally more caring

I am sure the Iranian kids have the tendancy to take care of the parents when the parents become old.......they reciprocate the love...

Some (or a lot) American elderlies are on their own and fend for themselves 'cause their children don't help much!

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Dear Mehrdad,

      Your mom's admonition is great...your mom is smart...it is funny that you have passed your parents' protectiveness to your cats! LOL!

Oh gosh, you like the high-risk and high satisfaction sports! It is a great feeling to conquer a mountain....but climbing Himalayas is not easy. Your parents' fear and worry is justifiable..........according to what I read....Mt.Everest/Himalayas is littered with dead bodies.......if all those frozen bodies can be resurrected, Mt. Everest will look like Venice Beach......wow! You are very smart that you can build a plane......but be careful with flying the plane......you got to listen to your wife/parents plus get their permission or carry a parachute with you when you fly your plane.

Thank you for your post.....Good luck with everything!

Dear Bavafa, yes, parents think they have all the answers

Mehrdad jan, thanks for your comment. You sure put your parents through some "delvapasee" with your climbing expeditions. I would die out of worry if my daughter did that!

About your cats, please make sure they don't bother the neighbors :). One of my neighbors has cats that always end up around my home.  I have to be careful not to leave the doors open since one of the cats will come inside or at night, sometimes, I can hear cats doing "Naaleh" on the roof!

Anahid jaan: "Iranian parents are generally more caring"

Cautiously agreed, but I wondering if that "care" comes with no strings attached? Iranian parents [mothers] much like the Jewish mothers have a doctored degree in "guilt trip" and know how to work their kids.

Dear Yolanda,

Growing up, I often complaint about my own parents (my mom specially) that she was way too limiting and over bearingly protective. The answer to every question I had, was "dear son, if you study and get a good education, then you can be all you want to be, you can buy all you want to buy, you can play all you want to play…etc"

Now that I am a parent only to three cats, I understand and often wonder how parents can allow their kid to go outside with so much danger around. I wonder what I put my parents thru when in the middle of winter I went mountain climbing for nearly three weeks or why they refused me the money to go on a climbing expedition to Himalaya when I was only 18. My dad was not happy at all when I was building my plane, I guess now I understand why.

On the other hand I realize those protectiveness, limits our potentials and I need to learn to let me cat be a bit more free. My wife on the other hand will have no talk of letting them go outside :)

Mehrdad

Dear yolanda, yes, Iranian parents are more controlling but also

Dear yolanda, this is nice color that you have chosen for your living room.

Regarding Iranian parents, it is true that they are more controlling and sometimes they try to tell their adult kids what to do. One thing I have to say about my parents is that even though now, sometime they are controlling but I appreciate that growing up, they let their kids make important decisions. So they were not controlling when it counted which was when you are up to 18. Therefore, when later, they wanted to tell us what to do, by then we knew better to make our own decisions and not necessarily listen to them all the time.

Iranian parents are generally more caring, that is even if their "kid" is 30/40 years old and needs help, Iranian parents usually help while American parents don't feel that they have to help that much.

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Hi Anahid,

   I finished painting my living-room last night....this is the color:

//www.vitaltexcorp.com/images/Arts%20&%20Crafts/Tissue%20Paper/Baby%20Blue%20-%2010.jpg

....I spent 5 days on painting....I am fed up....I am glad it is over!

    I just want to say that American parents seem to give their kids a lot of freedom: let them do whatever they want.....not enough discipline....Sarah Palin let her daughter and the boyfriend live in her house and get pregnant under her nose.......Priscilla Presley let Lisa Marie Presley marry Michael Jackson....here is the comment from Bavafa:

At home, it is often decided for you from early age, what field to work, what to study, when to get married and often even who to marry.

OMG! My mom is almost like that.......she taught college Chemistry....so I had to get a college degree in Chemistry also....yes, I got it for her......this type of parents have programmed everything for their kids........I left Continental USA and went to Hawaii for grad school.......tried to keep a distance from the controlling parent....:O) I recall when I was in the Texa airport before flying to Hawaii.....a young Iranian guy asked me to donate money.......the guy was pretty aggressive....he showed me a list of names that they have donated money to his organization.......I gave him nothing 'cause I was just a poor student......Now I look back.....I think the guy may be a MKO sympathiser or something......sorry for the side-track.......I think if a parent is too lenient.....it is bad for the kid......if the parent is too strict......it is also bad for the kid......the parents need to optimize and have a good balance!

Thank you for your blog!

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Hi Tissa,

   You are so smart! Good luck with everything! I watched your video clip on IC before...very impressive!

Hi Rea,

     It is great to be bilingual or multilingual.......I admire anyone who can speak more than one language!

Hi VPC,

    Thank you for your jokes! LOL!

Hi! RG,

  Thank you for the great post...you must be a very disciplined and successful person!

Thank you for sharing!

Dear yolanda, thanks for commenting. About being good at both

Dear yolanda, I have studied EE and I write but about being good in both, that is nice of you to write. By the way, are you doing any painting in any interesting color, I mean not just white or off white? I am tired of my home mostly being same color. One of these days, may be I will have living room painted something different. It is nice to have few days off. I have today off too.

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Hi Anahid,

       Wow! You are an EE and also like to write.....so you are an all-around person...that is great! It is not easy to be good at both.....I know I am not! When I was in college, EE was a super popular major......but not a lot of girls there! You are great!

      LOL! I need to finish the 2nd coat of paint after writhing this post...hopefully by 11:00 am..it was too dark to see where I missed yesterday....I did submit my photo essay....I still have 4 days off, I try to get more things done. I will be back after painting the 2nd coat.

Dear VPK, so true that dreams change

Dear VPK, thanks for writing. I don't know about reincarnation, but I know that dreams change. I remember as little girl watching Olympics. In 1972 I was a kid so I thought that some day it is possible that I participate in it. In 1976, I still thought it is possible but as I got older, it became clear that Olympics was not at my reach. About some other dreams, I have found out that if I am actively doing something to reach that dream, I actually do not dream about it as much. It is when I am doing nothing or very little that I engage in dreaming more. This has been true with couple major dreams in my life. Dear VPK, you also brought up important subject of how family become primary in certain point in life which is very true. Thanks for sharing.

Dear yolanda, how is the paint job going?

Dear yolanda, your comment was about 3 PM of yesterday, so how is it going? Thanks for commenting.

Following Dream

A couple of points:

• We may get more than one shot at life. Many belief systems include reincarnation. If true then we get lots of shots at life!
• Dreams change. In 1978 my dream was to be a physicist. After the disaster my dream changed: first to just survive. I managed. Then after having kids work become secondary. Now my job is to raise my kids.

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Hi! Anahid,

      Absolutely fascinating stuff here.....I finished 1st coat of painting.....I will do the 2nd coat later.......I am almost done with my photo essay.....I will submit it to JJ tonite........I have read every post in this blog.....everyone has an interesting life story.....wow!

I will be back......

I have to learn from Iranians disciplining myself to finish the painting job...LOL!...you are right.....It is cheaper (free) to paint myself.....

Tissa jan, as you write about establishment...

Dear Tissa, thanks for commenting. I am glad that there are Iranian Americans like you who have careers which lets them educate Americans about Iranian Americans. What you write about anti establishment is so true. It is much better when one' s career matches their personality, and you found a career (actually two since you are also a writer) that matches your personality. 

Comedian

My parents raised me to believe that the only career worth pursuing was medicine.  That turned out to be problematic when I discovered I hated high school biology class.  I tried so very hard to follow one of the "supposed to" fields -- medicine, law, business, academia.  But, in the end, I was -- in the words of my friends -- an anti-establishment person trying to make it in an establishment world.  Two Ivy League degrees, a French Grande Ecole diploma, and a year of unemployment later, I stepped onstage for the first time.  And finally, it all made sense.

Dear yolanda, Rea and Bavafa, thanks for your comments

Dear yolanda, I know painting is hard but then you are saving money by doing it yourself. Please write something if you have time about your career or the plans you have for it.  That is if you feel like sharing and are not too tired after painting.

Dear Rea, that clip is one of my favorites. Not that I don't give a damn any more. But because as you wrote in your comment, not everything that happeens in life, is in one's hand.

Dear Bavafa, I also hope other readers contribute to comments.

Thank you Anahid Jaan, following your dream

It is the best thing we can do for ourselves. We get only one shot at this life and better use it to the most possible way.

Great blog again and I will be following it with interest to read about others story. I am sure they are all interesting.

Mehrdad

Dear Anahid

Much younger, I used to think my life was in my hands. Now I'm almost 50 and I know better.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=02tCGleIdcw

@VPK, better hard than soft, lol. ;o)

Roozbeh jan, yes, Iranian parents pushed their kids into ...

Roozbeh jan, yes, Iranian parents pushed their kids into medicine/engineering. They still do that. But I think in some cases, it ends up being OK. About Iranians working as cab drivers while they do have Phd, I would have to say that there are some who work as engineers. In Iran, I do have many family/friends who are engineers even several women who are engineers. Working conditions over there are different but not every person who has studied engineering in Iran ends up being a cab driver. However, I agree, some probably do either as their first or second jobs. Dear Roozbeh, thanks for sharing your experience regarding your career with us.

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Wow! What an interesting blog.....every post is interesting! I will be back and read more.....I have to do some house-painting.....it is boring..

Thank you all for the interesting discussion.....

Dear Bavafa, what an excellent account of your career choice

Mehrdad jan,  It is interesting to know that some one who liked to work with his hands, ends up being in IT field but then follows with his first love by incorporating that in his hobbies. This is amazing that you built a plane. Yes, in United States, compared to present Iran, you can follow your dreams more easily. Maybe I will play ping-pong in 45 and above age group and do well. This is one dream I have. Thanks again for reading the blog and for your great answer.

My career was chosen for me!

Exactly on my 17th B'day, my father told me that he'd send me abroad to study after my diplom, so long as I'd promise to: a) stay away from politics, b) become a Doctor or Mohandes. I, in my zeal to get abroad and all the goodies there, promissed him to become both a Doctor and a Mohandes! Then followed 8 years of hard work (I dont believe my brain was designed for engineering) Before I fulfilled my promise to the father. So here I am, 22 years after that faithful promise, working as an engineer.

I actually think my case is not unique. Lots of Iranian men are/were forced by their parents and society to follow careers in Engineering or medicine because they at least used to be considered to secure a reasonable income and respect in society. This is sadly not always the case in Iran these days. We all have come across cab drivers in Tehran with PhD's....

"Personal business must yield to collective interest."

Dear Anahid: Interesting blog, great topic

As a youngster, I did not like school at all, only sports but growing up in a family that both parents were academics, not getting an education was not on the menu.

After service in 1982, I was content to stay in Iran and be a commoner, maybe a plumber or mechanic but since I was also sort of hard-headed and refused to play by the rules so speak and Sepah/Basiij didn't care for that sort of behavior much and nearly got killed by them, my dad convinced me that I may find freedom and democracy sooner in abroad then at home. So, after much pressure from them I end up in Germany attending a university and studying computer science . The subject of study was chosen based what was available to me at that university and in the early 80s any thing related to computer was new and exciting. Fast forward to many years later and more schooling in US, it made sense to continue with the same subject matter so I end up in the field of IT and being working in that field ever since.

Looking back, I often praise my parents for pushing me to go to school and get a higher education. I still enjoy working with my hands, building stuff but as I get older that type of work is harder and harder on the body.

Needless to say, one thing that I often say when I am asked about living in US and how different it is then home… my experience and response is not the endless opportunities here but freedom to choose who and what you want to be. At home, it is often decided for you from early age, what field to work, what to study, when to get married and often even who to marry.

Throughout my life from teenage years I have loved mountain climbing more then any thing, well till I met my wife a few years ago. I am sure I would not have been able to continue with climbing as long as I did if I was living in Iran. I also built a plane in my garage which my dad thought the absolute insane thing to do, yet last summer he got in that plane with me for a short flight.

It is the dreams that we are able to bring to life here in US.

Thanks for the blog.. I went much too far with my story.

Mehrdad

Dear Muscle, I don't agree

People can send resumes, fill job applications,  go to job interviews and take entrance exams, etc., and basically get hired based on their education, work experience and their fit for the job. Yes, it is true that some people get jobs because of having some contacts inside, but that is not always the case.

Most people don't have a choice

Unless they are on the "inside".

VPK, jan, it is 2nd time you make me laugh

VPK jan, yes, your point about if you had gone back to Iran, is valid. You made me laugh with your comment that Hardware engineering is also a possibility.

Anahid Jan

Thank you for this blog.

Regarding weapons research. Yes many engineering jobs involve weapons. I have worked on technology primarily for civilian use. Of course it is possible to pervert the use of anything for war. But none of my work has been directed towards war. Ironic that if I had gone back to Iran I would almost surely worked on weapons. Given the Iraq war and the later obsession with weapons IRI would have had me working on just that. 

Rea: I am open minded; not all people need to be software engineers. It is perfectly fine to go into hardware engineering as well :-)

Thanks Dear Rea for another excellent comment

Dear Rea, your comment about getting into translation and your advice are great. In this case, I am not doing a good job since my daughter understands Farsi but has forgotten how to speak it.