What Is Love?


Azadeh Azmoudeh
by Azadeh Azmoudeh

I go biking every morning for an hour. While biking, I listen to the music mostly soft rock. Today while listening to Celin Dion, I came to this realization that “love” is such a universal entity that no matter where we live, our perception toward this emotion is the same. You can see this word in literature, and music; yet there are so many approaches in defining it. What is love? Is it a powerful force that makes a lover to go beyond the limit? And if so, why? I was talking to a very good friend of mine and we were discussing the word and its applications in many different ways, including, love of God, Plutonic, unconditional motherly love, fatherly love and love between two couples. I cam to the point that if you can love your child unconditionally (somehow Plutonic love), then why can’t you love your partner as such? Why the first one is nurturing and the second is not? Why we need someone’s love, but we are willingly giving that to our kids, and for some of us to God? Why is it that when it comes to partner it takes another turn in obsession, desperation, and possession? And why is it when one thinks there is nothing to get in return, that same individual stops loving?

It is the case with most of us.

The problem, I believe, has a deep root in how we get parental love during the first years of our lives, and in order to make that up, we see ourselves into a deeper problem by thinking that our “empty cup” of love can be filled through someone else. I have been there, honestly, and most of the time I asked something from my partner, who could not provide for me. It is not that he did not want to, but he did not have it. Let simplify it in an example: I asked him for apples and he gave me oranges! And in return, I gave him apples while all this time he wanted oranges! Meaning, what we want as love is not necessarily what our partners think it is. You might think it is a very simple fact, and it is; however, to put it into action is another story. How? I started by believing in myself, and accepting who I am. By doing so, it became easier to accept my partner as well. What does love have to do with it? When I accept myself, I started to love myself as who I am. In the procedure, I started accepting my partner, too, and start not to expect him of what he does not have, but magnify those things that I admire in him and in other people for that matter. I am not done yet, still working; nevertheless, the result I am getting is way better than what I thought it would be.


Recently by Azadeh AzmoudehCommentsDate
Pro-choice, Man Advocate, or Feminist?
Oct 25, 2008
What a Small World II !
Oct 19, 2008
What a Small World!
Oct 04, 2008
more from Azadeh Azmoudeh

Nice topic! It has got me

by guru88 on

Nice topic! It has got me thinking of what love realy is. I would like to read more about it sometime.


Azadeh Azmoudeh

Live from Tehran

by Azadeh Azmoudeh on

First let me thank you for your comment. You said love is a mirror, that is another way to look at it, however, my question for you is what shatters that mirror? Or better yet, how can it shatter? When we talk about love, what type of love are we talk about? Or should there be different types of love as one of the reader said down here?



When we speak of loving

by live From Tehran (not verified) on

When we speak of loving someone, what means is that in that person the love act as a mirror for that place within us which is love. That being becomes the contact with ourselves. When mirror shatters the grief we feel is the loss of the contact with the place within us which is love.


What is love?

by AnonymousThe Mrs (not verified) on

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me...no more.

Thanks. Now the song will be stuck in my head the whole day!! :)

Azadeh Azmoudeh


by Azadeh Azmoudeh on

I admire your sense of humor :0)



Thank you..Khar

by faryarm on

This must be one of the all time funny sketches on SNL..

but i am afraid the ladies present might disagree with your definition..

except  most of the testosterone on the site..



by Khar on

Ben Madadi


by Ben Madadi on

I think there are very many good books and studies explaining all this :)

American Wife


by American Wife on

Then I look forward to your next post eagerly!

Not that 40 is old...lol... but in your avatar, you look much younger! 

Ok, not old enough to be your mother, but definitely an older sister...:-)

Azadeh Azmoudeh

Dear Americanwife

by Azadeh Azmoudeh on

There are some ideas in my head now, then in a seperate blog I will disclose how I get where I am by all means. And by the way, I am 40, not so young; but young enough to realize I have a long way before me :)




by faryarm on



Thank you... only with thought and reflection can one try to fathom this age old question. I came across the following passage a long time ago , after my first encounter with what I could have swore was "love".

The definition and true meaning of love seems to become more clear as one goes through the steps of having a family and all its joys and challenges, with the realisation that there are many kinds of Love.

This was written in 1913 by a Persian wiseman. He was only eight when he was forced to leave Iran with his family. At age 66 after he is free to travel to the west in 1913 , in one of his speeches , when asked about Love, from a  a western audience he says the following:

97 Cadogan Gardens, London, 

Saturday, January 4th, 1913

What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers.

Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful.

In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. When the heart of man is aglow with the flame of love, he is ready to sacrifice all—even his life. In the Gospel it is said God is love.

There are four kinds of love. The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit—this same love—he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation.

The second is the love that flows from man to God. This is faith, attraction to the Divine, enkindlement, progress, entrance into the Kingdom of God, receiving the Bounties of God, illumination with the lights of the Kingdom. This love is the origin of all philanthropy; this love causes the hearts of men to reflect the rays of the Sun of Reality.

The third is the love of God towards the Self or Identity of God. This is the transfiguration of His Beauty, the reflection of Himself in the mirror of His Creation. This is the reality of love, the Ancient Love, the Eternal Love. Through one ray of this Love all other love exists.

The fourth is the love of man for man. The love which exists between the hearts of believers is prompted by the ideal of the unity of spirits. This love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all men the 181 waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.

But the love which sometimes exists between friends is not (true) love, because it is subject to transmutation; this is merely fascination. As the breeze blows, the slender trees yield. If the wind is in the East the tree leans to the West, and if the wind turns to the West the tree leans to the East. This kind of love is originated by the accidental conditions of life. This is not love, it is merely acquaintanceship; it is subject to change.

Today you will see two souls apparently in close friendship; tomorrow all this may be changed. Yesterday they were ready to die for one another, today they shun one another’s society! This is not love; it is the yielding of the hearts to the accidents of life. When that which has caused this ‘love’ to exist passes, the love passes also; this is not in reality love.

Love is only of the four kinds that I have explained. (a) The love of God towards the identity of God. Christ has said God is Love. (b) The love of God for His children—for His servants. (c) The love of man for God and (d) the love of man for man. These four kinds of love originate from God. These are rays from the Sun of Reality; these are the Breathings of the Holy Spirit; these are the Signs of the Reality.



John Lennon tried to express it.

by faryarm on

American Wife


by American Wife on

You seem so young... yet so very VERY wise!  I'm twice your age and am only slowly coming to these conclusions!   Also quilty of expecting from my husband something he's just not able to give me... absolute security and undying love.  I say to myself that I have this kind of love for him... why can't he love me in kind.  My first mistake being that I put such expectations on myself!  Why can't I just love him... just plain old love.  I know the majority of it is the insecurity factor... having been hurt I tell myself I need and deserve that reinforcement.  Then I'm angry at myself for "needing" anything!  I dread that "tit for tat" kind of love. You know, where you say to yourself, I do this and that for him and what does he do for me... therefore, I love him more.  Then it just becomes a vicious circle.  I wish you would share how you started the process of loving yourself first...:-)