divaneh

Dear Roshanak

You are very welcome. There is no need to rush, take your time :))

Thanks again

for the translation. I can't beleive it took me a year to thank you but better late than never ! :))

Dear Roshanak, here is the translation

Here is the translation. I am afraid; this is the best that I could do. I have to say that I found the symbolism in this piece pretty difficult to translate.

-------------

Stone the two Germans

We have now for long been patiently and silently listening to the nonsense coming out of the shameless Westerners who are grilling us on every issue including the stoning of a woman. The more that we tolerate their claptrap the bolder they get in repeating the same question that “guys why do you want to keep hitting a poor woman with stones until she is dead?”. As if we need their permission to kill our own people. There is no boundary to their rudeness and now they have gone to the extent of sending two nosy Germans to interview the same woman’s son and meddle with our justice system before returning back to their country and poking more criticism at us, giving everyone the impression that we are a barbaric nation. Therefore we are humbly urging the government to prosecute these two cheeky Germans and as they have most probably been having sex without the God’s permission since early adulthood, stone them to death in accordance with the holy rules of the Islamic justice.  Let it be a lesson for them as our famous poet Saadi once said:

One who picks a fight with a stone thrower

Breaks his own head by such stupidity

We just can’t understand what they want from us. What is the point of constantly demonising us in their media and declaring our sacred stoning law a barbaric act? Do they know how difficult it is for us to look at the three thousand years old Semites in the face, if we ever abandoned such sacred commandment?  Then, would they not have every right to raise their bony heads out of their graves and look at us with their empty eye sockets, shake their heads and scorn us “shame on you that after all of our hard work you have so easily ditched your honour”.  After all whose fault is it? No sane person could blame us or Hammurabi or long dead Semites or the camel herders of the Arabia. The blame lies with those who force the government to punish them. Those people who think that ‘what is between their legs’ is theirs, and they can make personal use of it. Unaware that what lies between people’s legs is the property of the government, and if anyone ever tried to make personal use of these national assets, we would pick our stones and etch the law on his or her brain.  I now want to warn everyone and especially all those men who waste the national wealth, that you cannot escape the justice forever and will be caught eventually. Then we keep hitting you in the head with bricks until you regret the waste of such treasures. Of course Islam is the religion of kindness and forgiveness and not everyone need to receive such treatment as otherwise Haaji Golestani may get a headache.

The main purpose of this writing is to send a reminder that God will not differentiate between Iranians and Europeans and his order needs to prevail at any time and any place. Hence we would like to urge the god’s representative government on earth that as all Europeans are unchaste and engage in free market sex, we should bring lorry after lorry of pebbles and bricks and hit their people in the head in order to please the god and increase our share of virgins in the heaven.

Dear Mehrban

Thanks for your kind comment. I am glad you liked it.

آخر ما نمی دانیم که اینها چه از جان ما می خواهند"

:-) Priceless, Divaneh jaan, this is so good and not that far from what they actually say on the mambar.    

Some of the exchanges on the thread are great too:-).  Khaleh jaan, your double entendre trade mark is as keen as ever.

Dear Khaleh Mosheh

Thanks for the informative video. I am sure those must be the remains of our Haaji's grandma.

missing link

i can well believe that the haji is indeed the missing link

//www.telegraph.co.uk/science/evolution/7550033/Missing-link-between-man-and-apes-found.html 

Missing link

I have noticed that the link for Haaji Golestan ( Hasan Golestani, Imam jomeh Toysarkan) has been deleted in the process. Here is the link again to Imam Jomeh having sex with a married woman. Of course Unlike Sakineh, he was not even questioned about his conduct. There are juicier and more complete videos out there than the one posted here and I am sure many have already had the pleasure of viewing them.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8SU6O1r1iE&feature=related

Dear MM, Roshanak and Majid

MM Jaan,

Right said. These fozouls have completely forgotten their own torture chambers and want to poke their nose in our affair. I agree with you that if we continue to stone people and cut their limbs for another 30 years, we can show our women their place without a scratch on our divinity.

Dear Roshanak,

Thanks for reading and your generous comment. My English allows me to get on in life but I am not the best when it comes to English literature as evident from my previous posts in English. I however give it a try.

MPD's comments have always benefited from his excellent sense of humour. His comment reminded me of his masterpiece on stoning to which I have provided a link below.

//iranian.com/main/blog/multiple-personality-disorder/so-fucking-bad

Majid aziz,

You are a very generous man. I don't think Akhonds deserve it as they are very unappreciative people. If they had any sense of appreciation they would put it on the balls of their eyes.

??

«تقصیر آنهایی است که فکر می کنند لاپاشان مال خودشان است و می توانند هر کار خواستند با آن بکنند. غافل از این که لاپای همه به دولت تعلق دارد»

جهندم، به درک اسفلُ السافلین، اینم مال دولت! ببینیم دس از سرمون ورمیدارن یا نه!

Thank you

for this great piece. Could it be translated perhaps? I would love to share it with my non-persian-speaking friends.

and I am still laughing about the question that has been asked by "multiple Personality Disorder". Absolutely helarious.

You tell them Divaneh

How about them foozool westerners who burned witches in the middle ages.  Why don’t they remember all that? And, why cannot we do stoning for a while to scare our women into submission?  I am sure things will come out a lot better in our case and no renaissance can touch our divine culture with one gol-imam guiding us all.

ضمنا ذخیره شعرهای فرامرز

بی‌ انتهاس :)

divaneh va Dr. Saadat Noury

مرسی‌ .

فرامرز جان

خیلی ممنون که مخلصت را روشن نمودی. پپسی کولا را ما هم می خواندیم اما آن یکی دیگر را نشنیده بودم.  این هم یکی دیگر

ما دو آخوندیم و رفتیم زیر زمین

زیر زمین تاریک بود و خوردیم زمین

در اول می داد آش و پلو

در دوم می گفت بخور و برو

اشعار تاسوعا و عاشورا !

دیوانه جان،

این اشعار رو من و بچه های محل موقع  تاسوعا و عاشورا که تلویزیون هیچ برنامه درست و حسابی نداشت میخوندیم که سر مون گرم بشه!
اینها اشعاری  به صورت طنز بودن  که بچه های بزرگتر توی سینه زنی شنیده بودن و مسخره میکردن! این دو تای دیگه رو که حتما شنیدی:

در کربلا آب نبود پپسی کلا بود
شیشه سفید و خودش سیاه بود

از کرج تا سنگلک داور صدا میزد فوله
بند تومونت شله          

Dear Dr Saadat Noury

Thanks for your compliment. Let's all hope for the day that we don't need to write about these subjects anymore. I would not dream that one day we would be having these types of cruelty in our country when I was a child.

Dear Friends

Dear Monda,

Thanks for your kind comment. The couplet is from Gulestan of Saadi.

Red Wine Aziz,

Thanks for your kindness. I look forward to any future team work with your highness.

Faramarz Jaan,

Don't get excited bro. What do you want a Paare Ajor for? I liked the lyrics, where does it come from? I am now craving for Shole Zard.

Dear divaneh

Very interesting and thoughtful.

Dear Monda

The source of poem: Golestaan-e Saadi

یک پاره آجر هم بدین بمن!

بچه سنگ ننداز، به آقا جونت میگم ها! مرسی دیوانه جان!  

ما سنگ زنه سینه زنه آ مورچه خانیم

حلوا شعله زرد خوب می تپانیم  

...

خوب نکته سنجی کرده اید... زیبا می‌نویسید و دستی‌ نیکو در ادبیات لطیف دارید.

چند وقت دیگر باید مزاحمتان شویم تا در یک امر دیگر شریکی کار کنیم.خدا شما را برای ما حفظ کند.

آخر هفته خوبی‌ داشته باشید.

Sharp and Delicate tanz

Mamnoon Divaneh jan, enjoyed this very much. 

چو کردی با کلوخ انداز پیکار by the way who said this?

سر خود را به نادانی شکستی                   

Dear Shazde and MPD

Dear Shazde,

Very interesting point. Thinking about it, man made laws are the results of consultations between experts and approval by elected people, whilst god made laws are one man's idea, and normally a sick man.

MPD Jaan,

You should ask this question from Olama as I am not qualified to make Sharia rulings. My suggestion is to make a stone throwing gun to enable us to aim and hit them from long distance. We still have to ask Akhonds about the type of wood that should be used for the construction of the gun. 

یک سئوال

اگر در حین سنگسارِ دو زناکارِ آلمانی آنها توانستند با دوچرخه فرار کنند آیا موجاز است که با تاکسی آنها را تعقیب کرد، یا انصاف این است که فقط از دوچرخه استفاده شود؟ 

لاپای همه به دولت تعلق دارد

Priceless ... even stranger when the crazy Islamists condemn the Western laws as "man made" versus their crazy Shariah which is supposedly "god made".

God has nothing to do with any of these atrocities ... all our laws are man-made ... keep God out of it!