divaneh

«دیده شود» بسیار عالیست

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دیوانهِ عزیز،

«دیده شود» بسیار عالیست.

"حجاب باید آشکار شود، دیده شود!"

Dear MPD

Thank you for being so kind and thanks for your suggestions. I have now made the changes to the translation. The only one that I was not sure about was "Hejab bayad ashekar shavad, Taban shavad". Instead of "Taban shavad" I would suggest "Deedeh shavad" or similar.

دیوانهِ عزیز،

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دیوانهِ عزیز،

پیشنهاد من تغییراتِ زیر است، که انگیسی آن را در کامنت قبلی نوشتم.  نکته جالب اینکه در جاهائی که شما از کلمهِ فارسی تنپوش بجای حجاب استفاده کردید بسیار هوشمندانه بوده و هیچ احتیاجی نیست که معاوضهِ دیگری بین تنپوش و حجاب انجام بشه.      

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یک حجاب کشف شد،
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نمی‌خواستند یک فاجعه آغاز کنند
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ملای پیری هشدار داد.
"تحقیق کنید و با احتیاط نزدیک شوید،
بهتر آنکه، یک هشدار بگذارید، 'دست نزنید'،
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حجاب را دفن کنید، آنرا بپوشانید!"
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"حجاب باید آشکار شود، تابان شود!"
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کشف خواهم کرد.
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زیر آن تنپوش، اشعه‌ای مرموز وجود دارد،
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زنان را دستمالی کنند،
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که آن را اولین بار کشف کردند آن روز،
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تشکر،

Dear Divaneh,

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Dear Divaneh,

I am going to repeat what I said before, without being unfair to others, I believe you are one of the greatest contributors of this site, and I am sorry that this beautiful translation gift became a stressful situation for you.  Like yourself, I also have my own gripes about the lack of clearly defined rules in this website.

I’d like to suggest some changes, but I hate the way writing in English and Farsi in the same comment box causes weirdness in text format, so I am going to write here the English text I would to suggest to be changed, and then will write it in Farsi text in another comment.

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A Veil was discovered,
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did not want to start a catastrophic event,
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warned an elderly clergy man.
“Investigate and approach with caution,
better yet, post a sign, ‘Do Not Touch’,
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Bury the Veil, keep it covered!”
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“The Veil must be ascertained, brought to light!”
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I will discover.
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Underneath the Veil, unknown radiations exist,
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when for the first time it was discovered,

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Thank you,

Oh No!

Divaneh jaan, I should have asked you not to change the poem yet if you approved of my suggestion.  Your translation was featured last night.  Now with the change it has fallen off of the featured list again.  Sorry about that.

Dear Friends

Thanks for reading and your kind words. As I explained earlier I did find translating a poem challenging and will change this translation further if I see more room for improvement, or if you kindly give me good suggestions.

Dear MPD,

As I explained this was not the first time. I did change the blog even before the blog before mine was featured. I did not wish to complain as it seems like forced self-promotion. I however have the choice of not wasting my time in the face of double standards. Now that I had to go to this end, I do not wish to have the blog featured and have edited the blog again to take it off the featured list .

Dear Yolanda,

Many thanks for your encouraging words. I have found your comments equally very informative and of wide interest.

All-Iranians Geraamy,

Thanks for your kind help and concern. Please see my reply to MPD with regards to the timing of the correction.

Dr Saadat Noury Aziz,

Thank you for your kind words.

Mehrban Jaan,

Thanks for reading and your suggestion. I have now changed it. I avoided it because Kashf Hejab has a different meaning to Iranians. But on a second thought I felt that you are right and the rest of the poem will set it right.

Thank you Divaneh

Very nice.  First line, how about "Hejaab kashf shod" ?   :)

Excellent Translation

Thank you for sharing.

Good Job

Thank you.  All-Iranians also think that it was MPD's fault that this great blog of yours was not featured! MPD admitted that,"It might have been featured while you made the corrections that I mentioned in my previous comment. " Yes, that was why & surely nothing else. We are certain that due to increasing comments, this blog will be among the "THE HOT TODAY" soon.

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Hi! Divaneh,

      You are undisputedly a great writer! I enjoy reading your writings on IC! You are also very funny!

Dear Divaneh,

Your translation blog is great.  It might have been featured while you made the correstions that I mentioned in my previous comment.  I has happened to me many times before, because I constantly change the content of my blog.  It am sure once the Editor notices that the blog is dropped off the featured list, it will be re-featured again.

Thank you for all your hard work.  You should be proud of everything you write.  Everything you write is the result of hard work, they are original, thought provoking, creative, fun, and entertaining.

Dear JJ

This is not the first time that my blog has not been featured in the main page despite your own stated rules. Last time I translated the first part of my own article about the British and Shia clergy, and had to see the result of my hard work hidden in a back page. I am not necessarily proud of everything that I write and I do not think that I deserve or have a right to have my blog featured in the first page. It is however about your double standards. I have enough respect for myself not to put up with such treatment. I will finish any unfinished work but will not compete for room in your featured blogs anymore.

Thanks guys

Dear Souri,

Thanks for your kind words. I have to admit that I did not find the translation easy at all. Kudos to MPD for his excellent translations.

Dear MPD,

Corrected. I thought it was tent the very first time that I read your poem. But when I saw it repeated, I thought he must have meant tint. Perhaps it refers to Hejabs of different colours, or perhaps the colours are the different views, I thought. Glad that it is now clear. Please let me know of any other change that you would like there. Hope that I have stayed true to your great poem.

Excellent job, Divaneh!

I am impressed, actually speechless!

As the result of your translation, I noticed that I made a stupid mistake in spelling of a word in English, repeated twice.  By "tint," I meant to say "tent," which is the same thing as "chador" in Farsi, but also "khaymeh", as in "door-e hejab khaymeh zadand.

It was used here'

"Around the Veil, tents were built."

and "khaymeh-ha raa kharab konid!"

here,

"Clear the tents!"

Those were my mistakes, I apologize, but I'll read your translation a few more times and if there is anything else I will send you an email.

Thank you, thank you, I really appreciate it. 

Great job!

Very good translation.

Thank you Divaneh. I enjoyed this poem in Farsi, as much as the English version by MPD.