The case of thirsty people and oral sex!

The case of thirsty people and oral sex!
by The Prince

The note above simply says:  “please do not shove the faucet down your throat”!! 

We are the great people of Iran, cradle of civilization, sons and daughters of Cyrus the Great,  holders of the first human right manifesto, with  gazillion years of proud history. Yet, somehow, we have to be reminded not to give the water fountain a blowjob while drinking the water!  Really?! Is it just me or something doesn’t feel right here?! 

A couple of weeks ago, I read this article about the largest pizza being made in Parkeh Mellat in Tehran. The guys who cooked it wanted to have it registered in the Guinness book of world records.  But guess what? People ate the fucking thing before there was a chance to measure it!! Our chick, civilized northern Tehranis didn’t even wait for the poor guy to pull out his measuring tape.  They jumped on that tasty delight like hungry locust and devoured the pizza in minutes!  Now that was the real record! Bravo!  

What is wrong with us?!  


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hamsade ghadimi

"روشن این موضوع را با یک صحبت رک"

hamsade ghadimi

نمیدونم بین این آقای ژوپین و "ممّد میتی برای دموکراسی دینی" کدوم بیشتر چرندیات میگه.  جفت‌شون عشق سیاه کردن صفحه بعد از صفحه هستن.  شماها کیلویی پول میگیرین یا ساعتی؟  آقا ژوپین، فلان غول رو شکوندین با فارسی‌تون: "روشن این موضوع را با یک صحبت رک!"  حالا برو و از یکی‌ از "تیم پاسخگویی اینترنتی" ارتش سایبری کمک بگیر که اینو برات ترجمه کنه یا یه جواب مضحک برات آماده کنه.

دکتر مهندس، با میمون شطرنج بازی کردن بیشتر عاقبت داره تا بحث با این اوباش. :)


"روشن این موضوع را با یک صحبت رک"


Iranians are fond of remembering Cyrus the Great and the "Iranian Civilization".  A certain strain of the false 'blood and soil' mindset informs this sort of wishful thinking.  

Iran is a "horse nation", an "upright nation", a Timely and True -- aka Neek in Iranian shorthand -- nation.  Iran produces Cyruses and Dariushes, and Rostams, etc., as a matter of course.

That Iran is currently immanent, not manifest.  (What is manifest is certainly not Iran and these latter day children of Arya are hardly worthy of the name Iranian.  Rok enough for you?)

What I want for you, child of Arya, is to realize Iran Zameen.  Realize it even in Farang, if you must. For Iran must live. So despise not your inheritence. 

In my opinion (and yours may vary) what is timely and true (Neek) now is to have clarity in Pendaar.  Clarity here is not merely to be vaazeh; certain straining of muddling matter is also implied.  Purity would be optimal but let's not kid ourselves, e.g. let's be clear about things and our own nature.

Goftar is fundamental action and carries the thought.  We are a believing nation and the path that we have traveresed, from the very beginning, is of course The Straight Path. Iran is famous for the candor of her children.  (Again, Iran and not "Iran".)

The time for vacilation is over.  It is sometimes timely to review and reflect to the n-th degree, but Iran no longer has such luxuries. Having availed yourself of Timely and True thought and speech, you must act decively or be forever resigned to be an "Iranian" living either in "iran" or as "Iranian" diaspora.  


Here is a Neek thought for today and this blog.  Ponder well, children of Arya.

Think Clearly, Speak Straight, and Act Decisively.  Only then will you be an Iranian.


Dr. Mohandes

by Joubin on

Every witness [observes].  Not every observer witnesses. This is true even in the personal sense but this is not an appropriate blog for that discussion.

Think Clearly, Speak Straight, and Act Decisively.  Only then will you be an Iranian.

Dr. Mohandes

Alright man!

by Dr. Mohandes on

How can a witness NOT be an observer while by the definition of it he, of course as a witness, observes first and then reprts on that.

What were you really trying to say there big man?:)



by Joubin on

A witness is not an observer.  (A witness observers and then gives testimony.  There is no such thing as anonymous testimony.)  There is also no P in Joubin.  Finally, in Persian the motto is well known and far more sweet: Pendar-e Neek, Goftar-e Neek, Kerdaar-e Neek.  (Neek is contextual ..)

Hope this helps. 

Think Clearly, Speak Straight, and Act Decisively.  Only then will you be an Iranian.


Dear Prince, you are correct It Is Very Twisted!

by Zorumbaa on

Dear PRINCE, although you have not connected, to my satisfaction and with all due respect, the relation of intestinal gas to the temporal section of the human body, I do however agree with many of your side-tracking and not-so-to my-points statements. They are interesting and noteworthy points, and in many ways TRUE!  I still however don’t think, silly or not, this note has anything to do with Korush, or Simorgh living on Damavand!  Furthermore, how do you logically explain that a hand written note on a public watering hole in an apparently unidentifiable location is a (Comical) Tragedy? (Shakespeare wrote some of the best one!)   Could it be POSSIBLY a good public HEALTH service announcement by a CARING citizen?  What is the message that this notes tries to convey? I don’t think you specifically explained what it is, particularly vis-à-vis the warnings on a bottle of lemon scented DISH WASHER liquid! I have a habit of telling it as is.  F……Akhoond is the nefarious evil, fine with me, BUT I must also admit that the sun comes out every day!You are also very correct, “it is very twisted!” Why? Because YOU/I let them! Any surprise here?! The last think I like to add is that I don’t have the role or habit of playing “The Expert in Iranian Mass Psychology”, stereotyping and labeling and considering everyone the SAME is not a wise thing I believe. There may or may not be “a little akhoond residing in each one of us?” YOU SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW THAT  

hamsade ghadimi

شاهد ناشناس،

hamsade ghadimi

شاهد ناشناس، فکر کردم که شاید آقای ژوپین با زبان شیرین فارسی بهتر بتواند امضای خودش، "تفکر واضح، صحبت مستقیم، و اقدام قاطعانه ایرانی واقعی‌" را بیان کند.  اون هم بدون تعارف!  شاید هم از عادت داره به ایرونیا طعنه میزند. :)

Shazde Asdola Mirza

What is wrong with us? ... We've been duped by our own lies.

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

If you dig deep enough, you will find that all your preambles about our supposed greatness are lies, lies and damn lies. Lies rooted in unsubstantiated arrogance.

Our society and our leaders (from Shah, to Mosaddegh, to Khomeini) have never had the wisdom and courage to look at ourselves straight in the mirror of history, and understand our place in this complex and competitive world.

Instead we have cultivated, and then became addicted to believing and propagating our own lies. Sometimes we get surprised by the crude reality (e.g. walking or driving in Tehran) ... and ask WHY?


persian pit bull

The prince

by persian pit bull on

Your response to z , the middle paragraph is dead on

Concise and to the point 

Anonymous Observer

That's funny HG

by Anonymous Observer on

I asked this guy the same question.  In response, he started backpedaling by engaing in a BS hairsplitting argument about what he really means by that sentence--and then blamed it on my lack of ability to understand his complex and extremely thought provoking writing.  :-)


The Prince


by The Prince on

Sounds like a powerful, fast engine.. Zorrrrrrruuumbaa!  Goes with the passion coming out of your words!

“Don’t we have any other problems?”  Of course we do! But just because our legs are broken, we should not ignore our suffering from cancer! 

I do not call this funny, rather a comical tragedy.  This is not a silly thing to be connected to Kouroush and our history.  I think it speaks volumes of who we are and relates directly to our history.  We have a history of dual existence,  one hidden and one public.  It even shows in the way we built our houses,  Birooni va Andarooni!! On the outside we are all That! Honar nazdeh Iranian ast o bas! In the inside, it is a whole different story, from  cheating and lying as a normal course of day to day life, to going to every unimaginable distance in order  to keep that ugly, dirty custom we call Abreroo!! We are not true to ourselves. We have a  deep, ugly dark side that we choose to ignore.  This is not funny. This is as serious as our own homemade brand of deadly virus called Akhoond!!  The unbelievable reality is that after over thirty years of unspeakable atrocities,  these motherfuckers still remain the main feature in our moslem funerals and weddings! How twisted is that?!  They are in every aspects of our lives, because we let them! 

The truth is that in each one of us resides a little akhoond and we have to face that!  These ugly Poisonous creatures are our own products. They did not come from outer space!              


A very serious and highly inspiring discourse @ IC

by Zorumbaa on

Don’t we have any other problem or issue to spend time, effort, energy, bandwidth and the rest to talk about here? If you want to call it funny or you think it symbolizes oral sex is just fine. But why stretch this silly thing and TRY to connect it to Korush, history, culture, “Iranians”, civilization, blowjob, and being “LOST IN INHUMANITY”?Go shopping in your local supermarket, at least here in U.S., pick up a container/bottle of DISH WASHER liquid, fresh LEMON scented and READ the print carefully you will find out it will WARN YOU that this is NOT a lemon flavored DRINK and should not be consumed as such!!Now, this is America, right? Do you want to connect this to Native Americans, American Revolution, GWB, Republicans, Imperialism, Wall Street, Hedge Funds, or what? There are VERY STUPID and IGNORANT people everywhere and they do stupid and to the rest of us sometimes FUNNY things. They need to be warned and informed, what they then do with info and knowledge is their damn own business.   

The Prince

Funny ..

by The Prince on

that no one mentioned the pizza story! I think that one is a more interesting comical tragedy...


"What is wrong with us?! "

by Bavafa on

A very good question, one that I often times ask myself after reading some of the debate/discussion on IC.

 I think Maryam Hojjat has a good point here.

Funny AND great point raised in this blog, thanks.

'Hambastegi' is the main key to victory


hamsade ghadimi

آقای ژوپین،

hamsade ghadimi

آقای ژوپین، راستی‌ راستی‌ فکر میکنی‌ که خصوصیات ایرونیا "تفکر واضح، صحبت مستقیم، و اقدام قاطعانه" است.  و اگر غیر از این باشه، طرف ایرونی‌ به حساب نمیاد. اگه امکان داره این موضوع را با یک صحبت رک برای ما روشن کنید. :)



by Joubin on

Positively considered, here is a sign of progress.  After all, in a place that is so filthy and requiring instruction on use of water fountains, it is good to know that the intended students are deemed capable of reading.  

I also found the commentary and the comments ironic. Everyone immediately headed south for ziarat beh the land of genitalia.  Simply because of a piece of paper mentions throat and lips above a not-so-phalic metal extrusion spewing liquids.  

"Thirsty people" indeed, Mr. "Prince" ... ;-)

Think Clearly, Speak Straight, and Act Decisively.  Only then will you be an Iranian.


Nice vintage design

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

The water fountain has a nice vintage design. With a bit of polishing it would look like in an Omericon airport lounge. Definitely very different to the soviet-style machines still operating in Uzbekistan or Tadshikistan (//

Dr. Mohandes

We never learn

by Dr. Mohandes on

The saddest part of all is that any wrong behavior, gesture and anything at all that is done outside  the limits/ boundaries of what is considered normal behavior everywhere else in the world, is justified by saying:

Inja Iraneh! It's totally okay for the bikers to run over your foot, becaus inja iraneh! it is okay for the drivers wanting to just drive right at you , and forget about the right of way, because inja irooneh! etc!

To which i react by saying loudly in my mind: If that is the case Well, F you then. You deserve what you got right here in your iroon!! Halesho bebar. No more zerzerring and ververring about vveee vaaant the govetment ov peeepel over peeepel bekoz eezz good! For now the Gov of Goosfands and cows over de peeepel is what is happening and is all good.
Baa baa along my boys!


French Kissing the Faucet!

by Faramarz on



The white thing on the wall, is that a plastic cup dispenser?

Maybe the person that put the sign up was frustrated with people not using the cups instead of "French Kissing" the faucet!


Dont you panick, please

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

I assume this sign was put there for the foreigners, who (like Borat) come to Tehran from less civilized parts of the world (yes, in fact it should be in three languages: English, French, and Kazakh)


may i invite our learned friend mamoor.

by mousa67 on

to comment on this blog?

hamsade ghadimi

great observation prince

by hamsade ghadimi on

great observation prince and a funny blog.  if the sign warned people about potential of passing germs when one puts his/her mouth on the faucet, it would've been more effective.

for example instead putting up this sign:



one could easily convey the message by putting up this sign:


Esfand Aashena

Funny thing w/ that sign people will actually blow the fawcet!

by Esfand Aashena on

The problem is not the people, the problem is with the one who put that sign up there!  You put that sign anywhere in the world and it will invite some people to make a mockery and actually not only blow the fawcet but do worse! 

Everything is sacred

Maryam Hojjat

We are Lost in INHUMANITY of

by Maryam Hojjat on

dictatorship country for ages.  IRANIANS needs rehab & retraining in a FREE IRAN.



by jmyt17 on