POETRY

Abarmad's comments

Dear Mr. Abarmad,

It's my first time that getting comments on mu poem in English :D very nice.

You are reader and it's your right to comments and kind of you to advise me in proper a way.

These are what I'm feeling and what I'm telling in a nightmare that maybe attacks you in words. But it attacks me in heart.

I'm honestly open to tell you I do not read too much my words/ or ....poems (if you believe it)! As soon as I made a poem, I did not make that, my mind made it; I'm express, publish,... to release pains....maybe I'll read more and modify in better shape.

Your English comments were surprising :D

Dear Shahrokh

Your words are wonderful but they don't link well. The meaning of your poem is lost with "nice phrases" rather than powerful content.

I am not certain why your world would change with an smile, and the rest doesn't focuses on that. Jumps too much. Perhaps you could make two separate poems out of this one and emphasize the meaning of your key phrases.

The combination of the Persian words also do not make much sense:

"dar aasemaan Panjareh"! Do you mean:"dar pajareye aasemaan"?

Please excuse my comment and opinion.

Thank you, I enjoyed reading it.

دل پذیر

لذت بردم رفیق جان .ممنون

BEAUTEEEEEEEEEFUL

GREAT POEM ,
KEEP ON PUBLISHING THEM,
LOVELY...