There is a difference between a spouse and a lover

Soosan Khanoom
by Soosan Khanoom

There is a difference between a spouse and a lover
and no one can be both
oh … no never

When you are with your spouse
life is just paying the bills
it's fighting over the kids
life is a promotion you get at work
by working late and caring no more

Life is the urge of feeding the ego
the only God that you’ve ever come to know

Life is this constant fighting
over who is right
it is I hate you and I want you out
life is nothing but being stuck
like a donkey in the mud

when you are with your lover..

Oh ... when you ARE with your lover
life is a flower
a dream with mesmerizing  streams
a poem
a soothing ghazal of desire.....

Life becomes nothing but a Love logo
it is I die if you ever go

There is a difference between
a spouse and a lover
and no one can be both

Oh … no never



aka Darya 


more from Soosan Khanoom
Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

We do not know more that it is written and still one heart means one heart not two .....

also on the topic of adoption since you brought it up ...... I would like to add that it is highly recommended in Quran as long as you tell these kids the truth and do not hide from them the facts.....  but that has nothing to do with treating them like your own child and loving them like your own child .....

There is a verse in Quran that goes  something like this ,

Do you know who is going to hell ?  Those who do not feed an orphan and are not kind to them...

Unfortunately adoption is something that it's not practicing much among muslims, especially Iranians, while it is so encouraged in Islam.  

What a shame !!


salman farsi

Sister Soosan

by salman farsi on


The verse you hsve refeered to from the holy qur'an is from Sura-tul-mubarak, Al Ahzab, and aya-tyl-sharif:

مَا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِرَجُلٍ مِنْ قَلْبَيْنِ فِي جَوْفِهِ

Allah has not put for any man two hearts inside his body. (33:4)

The more acceptable tafseer for this verse is:

It was a custom in Arabia to estrange the wife by declaring that she was like the husband's mother. Such an unfair practice is abrogated herein.

This verse and the next one also address the question of adoption:

The Qur'an is clear: “Nor has Allah made your adopted sons your real sons. Such is only your way of speech by your mouths, but Allah tells you the truth and Allah shows you the right way. Call them by the names of their fathers; that is more just in the sight of Allah. But if you do not know their father's name, then call them your brothers in faith, or your associate. There is no blame upon you if you make mistakes; what counts is the intention in your heart” (Qur'an 33:4–5).


 For an Islamic democracy

Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

Really ?  What about a woman ?  You know time has changed and there is an  equality in everything one does and that is for both genders ..



A man deserves "a wife & many lovers"...

by Abgousht on

Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you...

Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here...

Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love




Soosan Khanoom and Anahid

by Faramarz on

I am not talented enough to be a stand up comedian, but I am smart enough to contribute to our daily give and take here.

And I will ask you guys who are normal and have a sense of humor to stay true to your obligations and call things as you see them!

Soosan Khanoom

Tavana and Salman

by Soosan Khanoom on

Come on get along ... no shai and sunni fight here .... please 

Soosan Khanoom

MM, Monda, and Mehrban

by Soosan Khanoom on

Thanks for taking your time reading my poem and thanks for the comments .... 

Mehrban what did happen to the link ?   

Soosan Khanoom

Anahid Jan .  

by Soosan Khanoom on

I love humor ..... thanks for recognizing it in me ...


Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

Thanks for the link ...  wow ... quite a poetry over there, how did I miss it ?


Soosan Khanoom

Marriage Iranian Style

by Soosan Khanoom on

Another related blog ... may answer some inquiring minds here ... 

Marriage Iranian Style


Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

If that is the main reason then it should be no problem with today's technology... Also if it is only for the kids to not get mixed up then it should be no problem for the women who are not willing to have kids?  

I think polygamy was a norm back then with men having up to hundreds of wives and Islam actually made it much more less and limited. That by itself raised the anger and disagreement of the rulling men of the time ...... besides the only verse which talk about it also clearly asks men to not do it and stick to one that they have .....  

Also there is another verse in Quran which states we have not given you two hearts 

which can be translated into : 

now if you have two heart marry two

if you have three

marry three

etc ...

but you only have one.....


Verses in Quran that had the social agendas of the time in mind should not be practiced at this time and age. But if you insist it should, then both genders should be allowed to do so ....... 


Anahid Hojjati

I agree Soosan Khanoom about Faramarz

by Anahid Hojjati on

amma khoodat ra ham daste kam nageer Soosan joon.

salman farsi

I agree there should be one religion: Shi'a Islam

by salman farsi on


Read the Ghadir Khum Sermon and you know what I mean:


Salman Farsi was a follower of Imams Ali, Hassan and Hussain (a).


Sister Soosan


in ploygamous marriages if it is between one man and many wives, each child has a distinct father and mother but if it is between one wife and several husbands how can you telll whose father is who (in the day whn DNA tsting was not available)?

Islam is rational dear sister. 


For an Islamic democracy



by yolanda on

I just noticed that a Shiite is critical of Sunni on this thread. I was wondering if a Shiite will need to convert Sunnis also.

 Hi! SK,

      Who said:

Men with poetic hearts are rare these days .. they should be listed as endangered species ....

These 3 male poets recited a poem simultaneously, it just cracked me up:


Hi! Comments,

   You cracked me up by saying:

 Actually, sharing an activity initiates the love.  For example, paying for bills and worrying about bills.  Why not?


Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

That particular word has been so misused and abused that one is safer to not bring it up anymore .....

and i am not sure why you use "  for men " .....

I think if there is a law it should cover both  genders ....   

Soosan Khanoom

Anahid ....

by Soosan Khanoom on

I think we should have Faramraz held a national comedy tour .... he is truly talented ....  :) 

Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

Thanks for stopping by ....

Love is a common ground which brings everyone together in unity ...


Anahid Hojjati

SK, Parsley part was funny but even better one was

by Anahid Hojjati on


"حالا سوسن خانوم یک شعری گفت، تو چرا هیجانی شدی!!".

Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

You have to be an stand up comic .. you are hilarious     "  Haji Salmonella Parsley "     Rolling on the floor laughing my arse off  ...........   Thanks God that no " Ghasht -e-Sarallah" is here otherwise I would have been sentenced to lashes just for writing this poem ..... 


Tavana: I agree. That is

by vildemose on

Tavana: I agree. That is what I hear from many sunni friends...I think they are actually much better muslims than the Shia. 

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx

Soosan Khanoom

MG ...... what a beautiful poem

by Soosan Khanoom on

How long did I have to stare into the mirror

Just for you to appear in it?"    

A poet in love makes the beloved the luckiest soul ever ... I really enjoyed reading this poem of Shamloo .....  thanks a bunch : )

The other day, on the other blog, i posted part of Nima Yoshig's letter to Allieh ( his wife) .... which I found amazingly true .....   

Men with poetic hearts are rare these days .. they should be listed as endangered species .... LOL 

Best love poems in the history came out of hearts that were in love ..This is my favorite quote by John Keats   

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion—I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more—I could be martyred for my religion—Love is my religion—I could die for tha...

And his love story .......  " Bright star "




Say No to All Sects, Salman!

by Tavana on

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ
النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ
الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ - مُنِيبِينَ إِلَيْهِ وَاتَّقُوهُ وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَلَا تَكُونُوا مِنَ الْمُشْرِكِينَ - مِنَ الَّذِينَ فَرَّقُوا دِينَهُمْ وَكَانُوا شِيَعًا كُلُّ حِزْبٍ بِمَا لَدَيْهِمْ فَرِحُونَ

So set you, your face steadily and truly to the faith: (establish) GOD's handiwork according to the pattern on which he has made mankind:
no change (let there be) in the work (wrought) by GOD: that is the upright religion: but most among mankind understand not,-- turning to him. and fear him, establish the prayer and do not be of the idolaters,-- of those who split up their religion and became schismatics, each sect exulting in its tenets. (30:30-32)

*** No sects are allowed in Islam. Period. If it ever did, then which sect did the real Salman Farsi belong to? There is absolutely no mention of the Grand Clergy anywhere in the Ghoron. All humans, including prophets, are NAtavan, only GOD & only GOD is the real Tavana. Every human's soul is responsible for its deeds in this world including those of prophets. Period.

salman farsi

Brother Tavana

by salman farsi on

You are quoting the Sunni (mis)translation of the verse. If you are happy with, well, that is your right. But please don't pretend that you know better that the Shi'a grand clergy.


That is the field where you are NA-Tavan :) 

For an Islamic democracy


Humerous to me.

by comments on

Perhaps, that's true in the first 5-10 years of marriage / commitment, but not after that.


There must be a kind of love if one could stay forever with his spouse because human beings are self-centered in their instinct.  Actually, sharing an activity initiates the love.  For example, paying for bills and worrying about bills.  Why not?

p.s. SK: you gathered the crowd again!  I call it an invitation to "unity".

Mash Ghasem

Aida Sarkisian and her man: Ahmad The Great, another good

by Mash Ghasem on

example of lovers, spouse, friends, comrades,..This couple is close to mythic in my book.

آیدا در آینه

به ظرافتِ شعر
شهوانی‌ترینِ بوسه‌ها را به شرمی چنان مبدل می‌کند
که جاندارِ غارنشین از آن سود می‌جوید
تا به صورتِ انسان درآید.


و گونه‌هایت
با دو شیارِ مورّب،
که غرورِ تو را هدایت می‌کنند و
سرنوشتِ مرا
که شب را تحمل کرده‌ام
بی‌آنکه به انتظارِ صبح
مسلح بوده باشم،
و بکارتی سربلند را
از روسبی‌خانه‌های دادوستد
سربه‌مُهر بازآورده‌ام.


هرگز کسی اینگونه فجیع به کشتنِ خود برنخاست که من به زندگی نشستم!



و چشمانت رازِ آتش است.


و عشقت پیروزیِ آدمی‌ست
هنگامی که به جنگِ تقدیر می‌شتابد.


و آغوشت
اندک جایی برای زیستن
اندک جایی برای مردن
و گریزِ از شهر
که با هزار انگشت
به وقاحت
پاکیِ آسمان را متهم می‌کند.



کوه با نخستین سنگ‌ها آغاز می‌شود
و انسان با نخستین درد.


در من زندانیِ ستمگری بود
که به آوازِ زنجیرش خو نمی‌کرد ــ
من با نخستین نگاهِ تو آغاز شدم.



در رقصِ عظیمِ تو
به شکوهمندی
نی‌لبکی می‌نوازند،
و ترانه‌ی رگ‌هایت
آفتابِ همیشه را طالع می‌کند.


بگذار چنان از خواب برآیم
که کوچه‌های شهر
حضورِ مرا دریابند.


دستانت آشتی است
و دوستانی که یاری می‌دهند
تا دشمنی
از یاد
برده شود.


پیشانی‌ات آینه‌یی بلند است
تابناک و بلند،
که «خواهرانِ هفتگانه» در آن می‌نگرند
تا به زیباییِ خویش دست یابند.


دو پرنده‌ی بی‌طاقت در سینه‌ات آواز می‌خوانند.
تابستان از کدامین راه فرا خواهد رسید
تا عطش
آب‌ها را گواراتر کند؟


تا در آیینه پدیدار آیی
عمری دراز در آن نگریستم
من برکه‌ها و دریاها را گریستم
ای پری‌وارِ در قالبِ آدمی
که پیکرت جز در خُلواره‌ی ناراستی نمی‌سوزد! ــ
حضورت بهشتی‌ست
که گریزِ از جهنم را توجیه می‌کند،
دریایی که مرا در خود غرق می‌کند
تا از همه گناهان و دروغ
شسته شوم.


و سپیده‌دم با دست‌هایت بیدار می‌شود.




شانه‌ات مُجابم می‌کند
در بستری که عشق


زلالِ شانه‌هایت

همچنانم عطش می‌دهد
در بستری که عشق


مُجابش کرده است.




Framarz these 'people' have no shame, Sallmolena indeedly or maybe "جاندارِ غارنشین". Rea me thinks he just reads Koran, it makes a good phocker out of you!


No Shia /No Seegheh in Islam, An Absolute NO! NO!

by Tavana on

" And [forbidden to you are] all married women than those whom you rightfully possess [through wedlock]: this is GOD's ordinance, binding upon you. But lawful to you are all [women] beyond these, for you to seek out, offering them of your possessions (e.g., an appropriate lawful dower), taking them in honest wedlock, and not in fornication. And unto those whom you desire to enjoy marriage, you shall give them the dowers; but you will incur no sin if, after [having agreed upo] this lawful due, you freely agree with one another upon anything else [e.g. a pre-marital agreement]: Behold, GOD is indeed all knowing, wise. (4:24)."

** Do not ever ever quote Ghoron over something as abhorring as the Akhoonds' made 'Seegheh.' Ever.


Soosan Khanoom

by MM on

It just seems that way, unless you become best friends first, then love & marriage.  The reasons you sited is why 1st marriage is there. Never say never again!

nice job.


Brother Salman

by Rea on

What's your daily dose, viagra or otherwise ?  ;o)


Haji Salmonella Parsley!

by Faramarz on

تو این شلوغ پلوغی حاجی جعفری میخواد یک صیغه دست و پا کنه!

حالا سوسن خانوم یک شعری گفت، تو چرا هیجانی شدی!! 

salman farsi

Shi'a Islam has recognised this distinction for men

by salman farsi on



This why we have Nikah Mut'ah (seegheh) in Shi'a (for lovers) and there is a Qur'anic reference for it:

فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَـَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً 

 "Then give those of these women you have enjoyed the agreed dowery" (4:24)

And for an spouse there is Nikah (daa'em).


Islam is a progressive faith particularly in marital terms and human relationships. 

For an Islamic democracy