Leila and me

Had I only known


Leila and me
by Rosie T.

We talk about the Shah here all the time but we never talk about Leila. I wrote a poem about Leila once. It was exactly three years ago, at the time when I went under. I went under because of a Persian Male--one of those with eyes of Eternity and kohl, who oozed Hafez from every pore in veiled dank misty rivers. You know the type, but at the time I didn’t, and so I fell in love. And he fell out and I went under. Into a very dark place. And when I came back, I’d written this poem. Or this poem had written me.

So walk with me if you will down this very dark road. I will navigate you ithrough it to its hidden light... Biya ta tariki barafshanim.

Leila Pahlavi died alone at night in Leonard Hotel near Marble Arch, in London in June, 2001. The cause of her death was given as a combination of pharmaceutical sleeping pills and other pharmaceutical and recreational drugs, along with anorexia nervosa. If you believe she was assassinated, you may not get much from this poem. In it, I went on Leila's journey to the other side, to Irkalla, the land the Sumerians and Babylonians called the Great Below. And we two, Leila and I, did not go alone. We went with the goddess Inanna.

In Sumero-Babylonian mythology, Inanna/Ishtar, Goddess of Love, makes this journey of her own free choice, to visit her dark sister, Ereshkigal, the Queen of the land of the dead. Inanna must undergo what all the dead must when they enter her sister’s realm. She must pass through seven gates, at each one further stripped of her garments and judged, Once naked. she must be slaughtered by her own sister and her carcass hanged from a peg. But she is rescued by her servant and two hermaphrodites, who embody the balance of the male and female. That is to say, resurrected.

This myth is a clear prefiguration of the Christian Crucifixion as well as the Greek Persephone and Orpheus myths. What is striking, however, is that the journey to the Great Below in this earlier version belongs exclusively to women. It is women’s own violence, grief and rage, which must be confronted and assimilated by themselves, and not projected onto men, if women are ever to be free. In this process lies their Power

I have said similar things about Iran.. No matter how severe the foreign interventions have been, Iran must own its own history. Only then can she be whole. Finally the female voices in this poem who speak violently against the Shah, the Eternal Father, have no political content whatsoever.

Leonard Hotel near Marble Arch
(Descent into Irkalla)

Open the leaves of morning’s door.
-Morning Prayer of Imam Ali


Princess Leila, Leila-joon

They have scattered all the stones

that you gathered for them faithfully.

And they’re gone now, all of them.

What a fine June night to take a walk.

To step into your sister’s arms who

waits for you at Marble Arch.

She’s been waiting far too long

Stumble to her in the dark

but soft my sweet insomniac.

Rest assured, but rest forearmed


This is no valentino runway.


And anyway, you’re far too thin.

It’s right that you refused their seeds.

This is no styx. There are no men

on chariots to pull you in.

(Nor shahbahnous to fetch you).

Still better take some nourishment

for if you do not come back up

good doctor iqbal’s r and x’s

will get all the credit.

Which only feeds the status quo

–-those coroners what do they know–

and this is no connecticut. Come,

take your sister’s medicine.


Now down the hatch we go.


Welcome to Irkalla dear.

Strange no man’s land.

Here are no salad days at brown

no birds no poems no peacock thrones

to dream you more of their irans.

But only sister’s loving hands.

You see how low she bows you, how deftly

she removes your crown. And

you thought they had done so. Let’s

undress the true wounds now.

Princess leila, leila-joon


You’re nothing but a bag of bones.


Strange strange karbala.

That was the first gate.

And seven times she’ll strip you blind

and seven you’ll be judged. Not by the ones

of books and stones

but by the searing pangs of a

kind of a driven labour of love.

Sink sleepwalker deep into her slumber

feeding succorless on placenta of grief you can

see how much she grieves,



grieves for her consort and

for all the endless dead, convulsive

uncontrollable venom of grief she

grieves because she’s angry, grieves because she’s jealous, because

you left her all alone here to rot in this hellhole maligned forgotten

misunderstood stuck in this godforsaken sewer pit this

stinking shithole of a great below while upstairs you rode alpha


romeos with all those lovers you could never love because you

chose to love only him spewing his megalomanias into the wind part

cyrus part che part errol flynn that party at persepolis boy that was rich

not to mention that ridiculous white revolution you

stupid anorectic bitch what the


hell’s gotten into you starving

yourself for the sake of your fucking father well

here are no fathers but only larvae so

don’t you dare to cry out for him missy when she

hangs you out from her peg to dry your

carcass a slab of maggot-ridden meat whose

flesh eats foetal into the bone it is



to cry out

for him for them

we take care of

the forsaking here thank you

listen sleeping beauty

daddy’s little girl

we do the putrefying they

are not answerable we

are the clean-up crew we

are reliable this is

our golgotha our

sacred suicide this is

women’s work lily it is

between you and the



and then in the original myth


the two hermaphrodites fashioned from the dirt beneath the ocean’s fingernails

with the help of the ever-faithful servant

waft inanna back up to the sky


and you Lady ship

would you too rise


as the sun soaked through your window from Oxford Street

and room service knocked on your door


if I only could have held you in my arms and told you so

as you lay prone in your posh hotel shorn of your cast-off robes how

distended into darkness deep in amniotic fluid sac of gall

the embryo is still born. Darling darling

do not fear the fear for her killing bed

is our wedding bed where her rage shall midwife

the chrysalis of foam, sole alembic from which we emerge

Whole, white goddess, parturient of mourning,

Imam, finally, of our own becoming.


would you take from me this silver tray

of breakfast tea and scones

had I only known you Leila


oh, had I only known


Recently by Rosie T.CommentsDate
guess who
Aug 19, 2008
what is the color of love
Aug 17, 2008
Our Generation (for nazy kaviani)
Aug 15, 2008
more from Rosie T.

wher's David E? lol

by registeredWabbit on

more wabbits have registered as you wished. come on out of the bet you wascall.. lol

Kouroush Sassanian

Sad Afareen!

by Kouroush Sassanian on

Sad Afareen!


If I can ................

by Nadias on

Emily Dickinson (1830–86).  Complete Poems.  1924. Part One: Life


If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin          Unto his (her) nest again,

I shall not live in vain.


Kouroush Sassanian


by Kouroush Sassanian on

You need to closely read what I wrote, before you quote me! I said I had no intention to be Rosie's suitor. I enjoy her writings, some of her thoughts, and most importantly I enjoy her brain - you not so much! I hope this is not a source of discomfort for you, perhaps a proverbial torn in your side. 

Hence, no interest in non-rosies of the World, but there is a place for them. They make it possible to appreciate the Rosies of the World.  

I address everyone, however inadequte they may be! I do not think you are a bad or evil person, but I do think you only skim the surface before you post your comments. You have a deep and rich culture in literature[Paz] and poetry[Velarde], so it is surprising how shallow you come across in your comments and/or analysis. I mean you listen to Gloria!

I do, however, appreciate her quick recovery from her accident!

I do love stories of success against all odds, like the one here. The one Rosie is achieving by posting one topic after another sharing her pain and loss. She will have success, as shall we! 

Now, let's get on with this elegy!



Rosie jigar

by nice iranian (not verified) on

Hey Rosie do not worry about these arguments they all love you. They just feel comfortable here. :(

Just rest and get back to work tomorrow. OK?

khoda fez ziba


KS I do have several questions for you.....

by Nadias on

You once said that you were not here for the Rosies of the world but for the nonrosies,  then why do you continue to pursue Rosie T.? What is it that you hope to gain by it? Why do you continue to torment her? Do you not see and feel her pain that you feel the need to add to it? She did not harm you or your family. Why do you project your pain unto her?

Also, you seem to think that I am inadequate and yet you continue to address me. You seem to pride yourself in your intellect and yet you behave illogically. What is it that you seek?

 If you wish to talk about the seahorses and the environmental impact of humanity  on nature then you are on the wrong thread. You know very well which thread to go to.

 KS: "Yes, I know you have a strong desire to respond given your circumstances! So, go head and respond so you can have the last say!"

 Nadia: I do believe that you are confusing me with yourself. Time to look at your reflection.

Kouroush Sassanian

It never fails, please anyone, someone

by Kouroush Sassanian on

I would otherwise say this in English, but the best way to describe you is to say - khaylee Adamee! All I have to say is jump and without exception you respond by, How High? Just once, write something unpredictable, please!

I am even willing to listen to Gloria! 

Now, let's talk about seahorses and elegies!

Yes, I know you have a strong desire to respond given your circumstances! So, go head and respond so you can have the last say! I realize it is the little things like Gloria that makes your evening!


KS if you don't want me to comment then just

by Nadias on

don't call out my name. So easy...........too easy a solution.


Kouroush Sassanian

behtareh, better, mejor, bättre

by Kouroush Sassanian on

You need to come on Monday for perov! Вы все еще отвечаете слишком быстро!

Kouroush Sassanian


by Kouroush Sassanian on

People are watching, reading, so with all due respect to Rosie jan's you let it go, let people post their thoughts and get lost in this virtual world, where the saghi does not refill my cup!

You clearly do not read closely or you must be  a big-picture person! I never used the term right here.  ET-PHONE-HOME brought up the issue of rights, not I!

Please read any posts at least three times. Say them outloud at least twice, then sleep on them before you respond.

I am not part of the Powers That Be, so you have to take up your issue of rights with JJ or his mobsers!

Again Rosie jan, was he or was he not Blases?


and now ladies and gentlemen we shall.......

by Nadias on

return to our scheduled program.

KS: So then according to your view, my little post has a right to exist. :o) So, good that we agree.

Jeez, KS you always have to be on top. You have issues but not surprising. By the way, I don't have to read anything several times to get the message. If it works for you then keep at it.

Kouroush Sassanian

Ode to profanity

by Kouroush Sassanian on

GC said:

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

There are times we can best get our points across by using those 7 words. I am more intrigued with scatological matters, but there are times nothing describe my sentiment better than calling someone a "khorossucker." I think to use profanity for the sake of profanity could detract from whatever point(s) we are tryinging to convey.

Col. Hemayat uses his appropriately, as it is within the persian context.  He definitly gets a pass. He is old, bitter and suffered much loss.  I could not replicate his thoughts or his profanity.

Please note, just because you refrain from using profanity you have not made a case for a civilized person.   It is a choice. I frankly believe it is best to be genuine and say what you think, rather than pepper your thoughts with a myriad of passive aggressive language.

Rosie was he like Blazes or not?


I cannot believe you all can not let it go............

by Nadias on

it is unreal................

solh va doosti


David ET


by David ET on

This is NOT about me. I am not the only one who is being cursed at and Hemayat is not the only one who does that to another but you and iranian.com want to unconditionally allow that.

This is about you, about us, about our lack of understanding of our rights and rights of others. You seem to not have heard a word of what I wrote.

NEVER mind! 


jj Irony (Re: Davit ET)

by chickenonymous (not verified) on

David, I find it Ironic that both you and Hemayat are upset with JJ's level of freedom in this site. Hemayat goes a little further and gets rid of his frustration by renaming JJ (to Joe Jer**)!
By the way don't think that I am a friend of Hemayat, In fact we would have shot 'each others shadow' during the revolution days!


Re: David ET

by chickenonymous (not verified) on

hey David, so what is the big deal when Hemayat told you those words? He lost in the worst way.
You have chosen to be a high profile person, your level of tolerance need to be adjusted accordingly.
By the way, Hemayt will probably call me a comrade too ... but I appreciate that he is posting here. He is a package though ...

Rosie T.

David, I just

by Rosie T. on

want to apologize again.

David ET

TO: "Chickenonymous7" and "woody allen"

by David ET on

"fuck your mother's cunt!!!!!" , "go fuck grandmother ", "FUCK YOU !!"

NO! Those colorful words are not directed at you two (whoever you are) but were directed specifically at me by Colonel Hemayat (a registered user of iranian.com) right here on this thread and jj and iranian.com is allowing this person to continue this behavior to many others too.

In front of our eyes , abuse of others is being protected while the rights of the abused is being violated. Sounds familair? (No we dont have to go to Iran to see it!. It lives with us everywhere!)

and meanwhile you : Chickenonymous7 (not verified) "nowdays" find Colonel Hemayat's behavior amuzing and state that actually you "look for his" postings!

while woody allen (not verified) who is HIDING behind an uregistered chichen calls those of us, who openly have our name and information public, paranoid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know! We MUST be different than the rest! We must be different by not driving behind each other within the tarffic lanes of Tehran.  We must be different by allowing abuse of one another. We must be different by executing children and the long list goes on and on......

and we are different and therefore we are an isolated country!

No woody allen, those are not my "rules", those are human common sense learned through history and yes I know we must not abide by common sense and the norms, because we are iranians (dot com) !

and yes woody allen we should not care, those colorful remarks are only "words": 


Rosie T.

KS, King fiSher, King Shadow

by Rosie T. on

 What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man, You cannot say, or guess, for you know only A heap of broken images, where the sun beats, And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief, And the dry stone no sound of water. Only There is shadow under this red rock, (Come in under the shadow of this red rock), And I will show you something different from either Your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust. Frisch weht der Wind Der Heimat zu. Mein Irisch Kind, Wo weilest du?

Kouroush Sassanian

No disconnect . . .

by Kouroush Sassanian on

It was as necessary as the first - they both walk with each other perhaps not like my shadow at noon - I say it is more dawnish or duskish!

It is for you to say, Yes, Yes, as Leila surely did!

Kouroush Sassanian

"Blazes", he was not!

by Kouroush Sassanian on

How hot the sun burns when the end comes, as it for Molly khanom, for Leila and for Blazes!

Your loss of the Iranian beloved was perhaps a lack of Penelope in you for molly claiming in you await  . . .

Kouroush Sassanian

To: Lynx . . . what a philistine!

by Kouroush Sassanian on

Ahmagh . . .it is very much related to the topic, my last post was a type of elegy, but since you are an i*** you would not understand. Now, I know it did not involving*** your aunt during an earthquake, while you were reading the Quoran, as a donkey was yelling,***

Oh, God help me, I have so much hate. No, I only have hate for *** - like you.




by lynx (not verified) on

Kouroush, now that you're registered, if you're going to post material that are not related to the topic, please just send a message to the recipient (Rosie)... some of your stuff are just so tacky, & cheesy


in defense of chickens (to David ET)

by Chickenonymous7 (not verified) on

hey David, take it easy with us chickens. Although I understand most of your points, I see a drawback on requiring everyone be registered. I have read some very good postings from the chickens that are more informative than the article itself. I am afraid those people will stop if registration becomes a requirement.
Also, as you might have sensed the level of profanity is progressively going down. Some of that even does not bother me any more, for example at first I used to dislike (that is an understatement) anything posted by Hemayat (the Colonel), nowadays I look for his postings even though I have never been a monarchist and I don't agree with any of his political views.
My last point is that, diversity is good. We have some (like you and Hoder) who have the khAieh to be so outspoken and public and I assure you that I have high regards for them, but we also need some guys that drive with the 'head lights off' and every now and then tell us what we can't see with our 'high beam'!


Parnoid ?

by woody allen (not verified) on

David E. didn't you have "Woody Allen" as your avatar? What happened?
I read your reply toward the rabbits and it sounds that you and your friends are fearful! Interesting enough; you are interested in punishing people if they do not obey your rules here. So, if somebody's lines are not in your favors then you want their profile to be deleted?
I'm sure you won't be able to guide an ant since you want to punish the visitors who have used the bad words. How could a word hurt you?
This web site loses everyone if you become the moderator. zero vote for you.
However, insulting people is not that nice and agree with you but I disagree with you on punishing the people whom we do not agree with their articles because contains nasty calls or words.

Rosie T.


by Rosie T. on

check your messages, will you please?

PS. To all: Yes, that's one of the benefits of being registered...

David ET

The choice is yours Roger to be real or fake

by David ET on

The true problem as I have stated before first and foremost lies with iranian.com.

The norm in internet communities is that the users register with email address (any ID ) and then if they break the "TERMS OF SERVICE" by using vulgarity etc, they are given one or two notices and then their email (and IP addresses) are blocked if they continue to break the rules.

Iranian.com has chosen is to reinvent the wheels (we Iranians are good at that by the way!) and instead of learning from the lessons of 1000's of large internet services , JJ is learning this the hard way and in the name of freedom of expression , the irresponsible is allowed violation of responsibles! Instead of being preventive, he has chosen to have a mop-up crew (with all due respect to them) who AFTER the accidents delete some comments , just to wait for the same craeless driver to cause the next accident again and meanwhile anyone can drive without any license or accountability!

But in time he will learn that the wheel was already invented and at best may should improve it to new models and not to learn what is already learned the hard way and meanwhile put the responsible drivers through it.

Having said that TECHNICALLY and only technically if iranian.com ever chose to follow a more responsible path, it would form such terms of service and give notices for abuse of such terms when necessary and block the IP of abusers if needed.

Only then if your email address is verified (I dont know if iranin.com does that or not) , Roger Rabbit can also lose its license to drive if acts violates the rights of others.

As I have given the example before, we ARE FREE to drive until we break the traffic rules which starts with getting citations and eventually having a suspended licenses or there will be chaos and accidents. Freedom is sacred , but not abuse of others...

So dear Roger Rabbit , until jj and us Iranians learn that freedom and allowing anarchy are different, the choice is left to the two Roger Rabbits , the registered and the unregistered!

But responsibility at the end lies with individuals and not the governining bodies, and human rights laws are necessary in order to have a civil society that CAN freely and responsibly express itself without violating the rights of others but they can get broken with consequences.




created a job for someone at iranian.com

by still a nice handsome chicken (not verified) on

hehehehehe hola amigos/amigas. Cany U girls and guys motivate me just like Rogger Rabbit user? I'm still a chicken or a rooster (take your pick). so, what do I get to become a member?, hunn? is there a free star bucks coffee card or something like that?
Nadia; it is me heheheh I'm so happy I created a job for the moderator here.
Rosie did Nadia tell you about me? Rosie joon be car hasti?
I'll be back tonight if my article is still around. hehehehehe

Auf Wiedersehen

Rosie T.

I'm asking you to stop for a moment and grieve...

by Rosie T. on

and instead you're playing tiddly winks....



Am I real or fake?

by Roger Rabbit (not verified) on


I am back again, like I was yesterday. But hey, anyone can be me, so where is accountability in all this?

You see Mr ET, you can still be taken for a ride.

Ms Nadias, you proved my point perfectly well. Thanks. Great Minds Think Alike :)