Date

HUMOR

Santa is ours

My speech to the Annual Father Christmas Conference

by Peyvand Khorsandi
17-Dec-2008 (6 comments)
I have a recurring dream. I fly to the homes of Jews, Muslims, and leave presents for their children. Christians are outraged. In one north London school, Jews and the Muslims who’ve received Xboxes from me are punched and kicked by the parents of other children. “Santa is ours,” they say. “He’s ours, you can’t have him”. Newspapers columnists: "It's multicultural madness when Santa Claus favours the children of lesbian disabled Jews and Muslims instead of the people who invented him.” In the dream I fly to Lapland. It's not my intention to favour non-Christians, it just happens that way. As for the Jews and Muslims, they are forced into a unity under oppression after being spat at on the school run>>>