August 5, 2004Top
* Q is for Queer
I was just ready to recover from Bruce Bahamni's funny film review that
I had to put up with Qumars Bolourchian's
hilariously written piece of political paranoia [W
is for War].
Is it not fun to have so many comedic writers on the same issue
of the Iranian? Q. Bolourchian (hereafter Q for brevity AND for Queer -
as in strange!) has such an insight into the future that one wonders why his
ESP has been ignored all these times. Using the predicting powers
of his crystal ball, Q gives us a picture of things to come (in the event
of Bush starting war with Iran):
" People will risk their lives for 'Esteghlal, Azadi, Jomhourye
And if you still remain unconvinced, Q's persuading power kicks in:
"And can you really blame them? Faced with the choice between
being an Islamic Republic with limited rights and being an American colony
ruled by Mariam Rajavi, which would you choose?"
Well, I don't know about you, but being a straight fellow, I find the
idea of an American colony under Maryam Rajavi more titillating
than that of a British colony under Khamenei! But Q keeps amazing
us with his in-depth knowledge of secular politics [please hold
onto something firm if you have a tendency to pass out):
" Some Iranian readers are undoubtedly too young and others were
already out of the country, but the fact is that the Islamic republic
didn't start out so "Islamic." Khomeini was an old man with
many flaws. But from day one he stressed separation of religion and government
which, by the way, is emphasized in traditional Shiite doctrine."
Jallal-khaalegh! Why didn't Q tell us all these before? Must you have
waited for 25 years Q, to give us such great news? You see Q, in my ignorance,
I never realised that when Khomeini ordered a referendum to vote 'yes'
or 'no' to the ISLAMIC Republic he didn't mean it for the ISLAMIC
Republic of Iran but for that of Iraq!! And I don't know
how you count your day-1 but I count my day-1 from 15th khordad
1342 (4 June 1963) when Khomeini ordered his mob to set fire to government
buildings and properties. Again, not being as smart as you are Q, it
didn't occur to me that he had no intention of pulling down the
government!! I thought because he was unhappy with the Shah's land reforms, and
voting rights to women that he had incited people to violence. Yet,
unlike you Q, I had no inkling that he kept politics and religion apart
during those turbulent days!!!
And thank you Q, for sharing your knowledge of Shiite non-political
doctrine with the rest of us. Before I read your enlightening passage
above, I used to think that all those Shiite Imams (no. 1 to no. 11)
who were killed (or vanished as in no. 12) by the rulers of
their time, lost their lives over political disputes and rivalries.
Now, thanks to your informative piece, I understand that all those killings
had nothing to do with politics. They were probably due to minor differences
of opinion over the cleansing rituals like the number of times
one has to plunge into water after having a wet dream!
But Q's most mind boggling revelation is still to come:
" His [Khomeini's] original government was to have a non-religious
president AND prime minister. Indeed the first elected governments post-revolution
WERE non-religious. Look up Bani-Sadr and Rajai, the IRI's first two
presidents. They were no Mullahs."
OK, Q so you conveniently dropped Khomeini's first appointed prime
minister, Mehdi Bazargan, from your list. I presume it is impossible
to pass his religious antics as non-religious. After all how could
you count Bazargan who, in his student years in France, used to wake
up the entire neighbourhood at sunrise by shouting Azaan from roof tops,
as non-religious? But I must admit Q that I was equally shocked to find
that Bani-Sadr and Rajai were non-religious. Was it not Bani-Sadr whose
thesis (that he finished after 14 long years!) was entitled: Islamic
Economy (Eghtesaad-e Touhidi)? Or, was it not the same Bani-Sadr who, in
support of the need for Hejab, famously announced that women's hair
was the source of sexually stimulating radiation and had to be covered?
And was it not the same Rajai, who used to appear on the national TV
and, in his position as the minister of education, tear up all those
pages from the schools books that were deemed non-Islamic?
You see Q, I was beginning to accept, thanks to your remarkable reasoning
(!!), that Khomeini was not interfering with government's affairs but
you ruined your entire argument by suggesting that Bani-Sadr and Rajai
were non-religious! You also forgot the Bani-Sadr's Speaker of the Parliament, was
Beheshti and Rajai's prime minister was Bahonar - both mullahs.
I agree with you that you are not in the pay of the Islamic Republic.
With all their deviousness, mullahs are clever enough not to
waste their hard looted cash on someone as Queer as you Q.
[See reply: "Intolerant intolerance"]