| 2003
PROFILING
Santa
at the border
With your long beard and your strange brightly-colored costume,
you practically have 'Fanatical Muslim' tattooed on your forehead!
By Niki Tehranchi
GENDER
WARS
Great
year
For Iranian women. And Iranian men are plain jealous.
By Siamack Baniameri
CHRISTMAS
Santa
in certain terms
Still great fun for us heathen kids who didn't celebrate
Christmas
By Shappi Khorsandi
CLONING
Nancy's
fancy fish farm
Genetically modified Glo-fish?
By Afsaneh Bahrami
COVER
Twins
for sale! Twins for sale!
"Mr Grizzly" and "Little Prince"
By Siamack Salari
BUSH
The
occasional diary of Ali Ziba
Naughty thoughts before the London march
By Peyvand Khorsandi
WOMEN
User
friendly feminist
When did the collective female conscious underwent a collective
lobotomy?
By Afsaneh Bahrami
SATIRE
Allaf-e
Zia o Haleh nabaash
Junk (Iranian satellite) TV
By Hadi Khorsandi
SATIRE
Amoo's
checkup
I took my uncle, who was visiting from Iran, to the doctor
By Siamack Baniameri
USA
A
prayer
My Thanksgiving prayer for this year
By Jalil Mortazavi
SATIRE
Dear
Amoo George
Get rid of the sanctions
By Behrouz Bahmani
POINT
Dillis
and doughnuts
You can't just go to war, say, unless France, Russia and Syria
approve
By Alidad Vassigh
LIFE
It
socks
Where do socks go? Who am I going to call? Sockbusters?
By Simin Habibian
LETTER
Dear
Sir
A presumptuous note
By Ali Sadri
COVER
Wanted
Cartoons
By Mahmoud
LANGUAGE
:o)
Isfahani-naameh
Deconstructing the Isfahani accent
By Salman Sabahi
SATIRE
Sensible
census
Coke, Pepsi and doogh drinkers' habits & tastes
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani
SATIRE
Khomeini
a la Pahlavi
Hossein Khomeini's talk in Washington
By Mehrdad Soofi
STUNT
Whatever
Why is David Blaine spoiling our view?
By Shappi Khorsandi
IRAN
Mixed
messages
Photo essay: Signs in Tehran
By Sharif N Mafi
SATIRE
Empire
of flower and dream
"Tell me more when you get there"
By Leila Farjami
POEM
:o)
Roozeh
siyaasi
Political fast
By Hadi Khorsandi
POINT
Iruni-baazi
Settle the Mossadegh issue & forget about the A-bomb
By Alidad Vassigh
WOMEN
Black
is back
Suddenly the blonde look became an embarrassment
By Leila Shirazi
DIASPORA
Tarof
aside
One can easily be both: English & Iranian
By Shappi Khorsandi
SATIRE
Roozeh
siyaasi
Political fast
By Hadi Khorsandi
POINT
Iruni-baazi
Settle the Mossadegh issue & forget about the A-bomb
By Alidad Vassigh
SATIRE
Personals
you may have missed
Cartoons
By Mahmoud
COVER
Sick
and tired
Do you want to know who I'm sick and tired of? I'll tell you
who
By Siamack Baniameri
MEN
Beat
this
Bride from Iran
By Farid Moghadassi
STEREOTYPES
Dictionary
of Iranian characters
Do you recognize any?
By Ramin Tork
SATIRE
From
aftabeh to Mars
Behind the scenes of Iran's nuclear industry
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani
REVIEW
Notable
success!
A complete idiot's guide to the CIA
By Moe
LAWYER
Parvandeh
maa chi shod?
I love being a lawyer and helping Iranians, no matter how annoying.
But...
By Niki Tehranchi
SATIRE
Khatami
tariyaak-e ghaatee daar bood
Poem :o)
By Hadi Khorsandi
COVER
Harmed & dangerous
Cartoons by Hadi Heidari
SATIRE
Faal-e
Hafez baraaye Naveye Emaam
Poem :o)
By Hadi Khorsandi
TALK
OF THE TOWN
Afghanistan
and Iraq not enough
The Pentagon wants complete control over foreign policy -- and
go after Iran
By Art Buchwald
WMD
Colorful
missiles
Do the high command of the Iranian military truly believe they
can ward-off an American attack?
By Sharif N. Mafi
COVER
Wide
awake
Mahmoud's molla cartoons
By Jahanshah Javid
PROFILING
Not
so perfect
Who should be searched? Khalid Akhmed Al-Habibi Bin Hamal or
Sister O'Connor, the Irish nun
By Sean Tohidi
DIASPORA
Only in Los
Angeles
"Surely you mean... Tehrangeles?"
By Amir Nooriala
POETRY
A
story of good boys and bad boys
By Hadi Khorsandi
Translation by Peyvand Khorsandi
Persian original
LIFE
Javad
First part of a story in progress
By Bijan Tehrani
PROFILING
Terrorist-type
travel tips
I offer my fellow Iranian travelers four helpful suggestions
By Amir Nooriala
COVER
Delam
khonak shod
Letter to "those mother fuckers"
By Faramarz Oskouie
PROTEST
Hooray
to hooligans
Forget university students
By Siamack Baniameri
LIFE
Sahar
keh... sar meezaneh
Story
By Cyrous Moradi
SATIRE
Salam
sobh-e shanbeh
Poem
By Hadi Khorsandi
IRANIANS
Requiem for an Idealist
Cartoon
By Mana Neyestani
Persian original
English translation
WMD
Don Quixote’s
Iranian bomb
Lies about nuclear bomb making capabilities
By Sharif N. Mafi
EXPRESSION
Op-pen
dat societeee, bitch
The thinking couch potato's musical
By Alidad Vassigh
SATIRE
Roadmap
to Democracy
From Yaboo maps
By Kabob
SATIRE
Satellite
Revolution!
Dude, it's over. People are in the streets...
By Siamack Baniameri
SATIRE
Turning
fear into funny
Maz Jobrani: Iranian-born comic/actor
By Sanaz Khalaj
SATIRE
Naagofteh-haaye
Aqaba
Middle East peace talks
By Asghar Agha
MIDDLE EAST
Not too shaby
Demise of numerous tasteless archenemies
By Sharif N. Mafi
DIASPORA
Where
are you vermin?
Crushing my enemies in my ever-vibrant and busy imagination
By Alidad Vassigh
SATIRE
What
a shame
Looting of the oldest "dildo" from Baghdad Museum
By Siamack Baniameri
BABIES
One... two...
“TWINS! I know you're in there... this is your daddy speaking!
HELLO! HELLO!”
By Siamack Salari
DIASPORA
Modern
maraz
In
those days (sigh), all it took to get well was some attention
By Babak Khiavchi
DIASPORA
Heh?
Ability to face life's hardships with fortitude and a banana
split
By Alidad Vassigh
SATIRE
Dear
Ghazanfar
A mother's letter to his son
By Kouros Behzad
MEDIA
Who
had the best war song?
Iraq war news themes
By Behrouz Bahmani
MIDDLE EAST
Club
Axis
Enrolling Syria in the world's most exclusive group
By Sharif N. Mafi
WAR
You
call this a war?
I wanna see some Iraqi fedayins' guts shoot at the camera and
cover Christiane Amonpor's face
By Siamack Baniameri
IRAQ
Khar khodeti
On the latest saga of the British carving of the Middle East
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani
IRAQ
Holy
governor
Looking for a job in Iraq
By Linda Ghassemi
APRIL FOOLS
Washington
to establish United States of Iran
U.S. appoints James Rubin as governor of Iran
By Fred Goozman
BOY
How
to score
Opening my brother-in-law's eyes to the world of girls
By Siamack Salari
LIFE
17,
plus tax
It's my birthday
By Niki Tehranchi
AMERICA
Sunset
mirage
Too many dates and donkey rides don't mix
By FF
COMEDIAN
Veiled
humor
A female Muslim stand-up comic?
By Annika S. Hipple
SATIRE
Interview
with an Iranian man
Iranian men have "tendencies"
By Siamack Baniameri
GAME
Korkoree
Takhteh is more than a game for me
By Niki Tehranchi
WAR
Don't
call it war
Call it high-intensity weapons inspection
By Bruce Bahmani
WAR
Iraq's
quantom leap
Thanks to the U.S.
By Sharif N. Mafi
WAR
Hoop
dreams
"Have you given much thought to peace lately?" I ask
Michael Jordan
By Moe
PET
Sam's
reminder
Pondering mortality
By Siamack Salari
SATIRE
Veiled
humor
A female Muslim stand-up comic?
By Annika S. Hipple
MEDIA
Meanwhile
in Palestine
I wonder if there are any mediocre bombmakers?
By Sharif N Mafi
IRANIANS
Don't
mess with Persians!
A night out with the boys
By Arash Seyedalikhani
HEEH
(Bin)
Ladan Alley
Photo essay: Streets of Tehran
By Moe
TRADITION
Zekr-e
moseebat
A tradition left behind
By Shahriar Zahedi
AGE
Dar
fazilat-e sen-o saal
On the virtues of aging
By Mohammad Ghaed
WAR
Ajab
roozegaaree shodeh!
Iraq war: Whom to curse
By Pesare Shoja
OPINION
Vaallaa
nafahm bood!
On the anniversary of the revolution
By Pesare Shoja
STUPID
Bad
English bad for your health
Iranian passenger on Air Canada busted for poor choice of words
By Asghar Massombagi
THREAT
Evil
cheetahs
Cloned Iranian Cheetahs possibly in parts of Alaska? Gasp!
By Sharif N. Mafi
CELEBRITY
Freakumentary
On the life of Michael Jackson
By Shaparak Khorsandi
EVOLUTION
Most
stupid race of all
According to a new study, animosity will result in our self-destruction
By Saeed Tavakkol
WORDS
Phonetic
Laziness Syndrome
Impatience for foreign words
By Farhad Radmehrian
FIGURE
Cheghadr
chaagh shodi!
Most ancient put-down of Iranian ladies
By Niki Tehranchi
IRAQ
Baghdad
goodbye party
Essentials celebrate the end of Saddam
By Sharif N. Mafi
POINT
Afternoon
tea
It's difficult to feel sad in Barcelona
By Alidad Vassigh
TRIP
Close
call
I'm British and no Yankee immigration gimp could ever touch
me - right?
By Siammack Salari
SUSPECT
Tokhm-e
morgh-haaye qoshoon
Banished to the garrison kitchen
By Mohammad Ghaed
IRANIANS
Deal
with it
To az maa behtaraans: You hate it, but you're Iranian too
By Mohsen Shabanian, Toronto
EXPERIMENTAL
Bavaaseer
Audio clip -- 18 and over :)
Sent by Mani
EXPERIMENTAL
Vaaaaaaay!
A song for 18 and over :)
Sent by R.
AMERICA
Sleepless
in America
It's no miracle but it's a start
By FF
IRAN
Swish
I'm going to Iran. And I have a severe case of gastritis
By Parissa Sohie
WISODM
Private
thoughts
What I learned in the past year
By Siamack Baniameri
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