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Satire
Features

2003

PROFILING
Santa at the border
With your long beard and your strange brightly-colored costume, you practically have 'Fanatical Muslim' tattooed on your forehead!
By Niki Tehranchi

GENDER WARS
Great year
For Iranian women. And Iranian men are plain jealous.
By Siamack Baniameri

CHRISTMAS
Santa in certain terms
Still great fun for us heathen kids who didn't celebrate Christmas
By Shappi Khorsandi

CLONING
Nancy's fancy fish farm
Genetically modified Glo-fish?
By Afsaneh Bahrami

COVER
Twins for sale! Twins for sale!
"Mr Grizzly" and "Little Prince"
By Siamack Salari

BUSH
The occasional diary of Ali Ziba
Naughty thoughts before the London march
By Peyvand Khorsandi

WOMEN
User friendly feminist

When did the collective female conscious underwent a collective lobotomy?
By Afsaneh Bahrami

SATIRE
Allaf-e Zia o Haleh nabaash
Junk (Iranian satellite) TV
By Hadi Khorsandi

SATIRE
Amoo's checkup
I took my uncle, who was visiting from Iran, to the doctor
By Siamack Baniameri

USA
A prayer
My Thanksgiving prayer for this year
By Jalil Mortazavi

SATIRE
Dear Amoo George
Get rid of the sanctions
By Behrouz Bahmani

POINT
Dillis and doughnuts
You can't just go to war, say, unless France, Russia and Syria approve
By Alidad Vassigh

LIFE
It socks
Where do socks go? Who am I going to call? Sockbusters?
By Simin Habibian

LETTER
Dear Sir
A presumptuous note
By Ali Sadri

COVER
Wanted
Cartoons
By Mahmoud

LANGUAGE :o)
Isfahani-naameh
Deconstructing the Isfahani accent
By Salman Sabahi

SATIRE
Sensible census
Coke, Pepsi and doogh drinkers' habits & tastes
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani

SATIRE
Khomeini a la Pahlavi
Hossein Khomeini's talk in Washington
By Mehrdad Soofi

STUNT
Whatever
Why is David Blaine spoiling our view?
By Shappi Khorsandi

IRAN
Mixed messages

Photo essay: Signs in Tehran
By Sharif N Mafi

SATIRE
Empire of flower and dream

"Tell me more when you get there"
By Leila Farjami

POEM :o)
Roozeh siyaasi
Political fast
By Hadi Khorsandi

POINT
Iruni-baazi
Settle the Mossadegh issue & forget about the A-bomb
By Alidad Vassigh

WOMEN
Black is back
Suddenly the blonde look became an embarrassment
By Leila Shirazi

DIASPORA
Tarof aside
One can easily be both: English & Iranian
By Shappi Khorsandi

SATIRE
Roozeh siyaasi
Political fast
By Hadi Khorsandi

POINT
Iruni-baazi
Settle the Mossadegh issue & forget about the A-bomb
By Alidad Vassigh

SATIRE
Personals you may have missed
Cartoons
By Mahmoud

COVER
Sick and tired
Do you want to know who I'm sick and tired of? I'll tell you who
By Siamack Baniameri

MEN
Beat this
Bride from Iran
By Farid Moghadassi

STEREOTYPES
Dictionary of Iranian characters
Do you recognize any?
By Ramin Tork

SATIRE
From aftabeh to Mars
Behind the scenes of Iran's nuclear industry
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani

REVIEW
Notable success!

A complete idiot's guide to the CIA
By Moe

LAWYER
Parvandeh maa chi shod?
I love being a lawyer and helping Iranians, no matter how annoying. But...
By Niki Tehranchi

SATIRE
Khatami tariyaak-e ghaatee daar bood
Poem :o)
By Hadi Khorsandi

COVER
Harmed & dangerous
Cartoons by Hadi Heidari

SATIRE
Faal-e Hafez baraaye Naveye Emaam
Poem :o)
By Hadi Khorsandi

TALK OF THE TOWN
Afghanistan and Iraq not enough
The Pentagon wants complete control over foreign policy -- and go after Iran
By Art Buchwald

WMD
Colorful missiles
Do the high command of the Iranian military truly believe they can ward-off an American attack?
By Sharif N. Mafi

COVER
Wide awake
Mahmoud's molla cartoons
By Jahanshah Javid

PROFILING
Not so perfect
Who should be searched? Khalid Akhmed Al-Habibi Bin Hamal or Sister O'Connor, the Irish nun
By Sean Tohidi

DIASPORA
Only in Los Angeles

"Surely you mean... Tehrangeles?"
By Amir Nooriala

POETRY
A story of good boys and bad boys
By Hadi Khorsandi
Translation by Peyvand Khorsandi
Persian original

LIFE
Javad

First part of a story in progress
By Bijan Tehrani

PROFILING
Terrorist-type travel tips
I offer my fellow Iranian travelers four helpful suggestions
By Amir Nooriala

COVER
Delam khonak shod
Letter to "those mother fuckers"
By Faramarz Oskouie

PROTEST
Hooray to hooligans
Forget university students
By Siamack Baniameri

LIFE
Sahar keh... sar meezaneh
Story
By Cyrous Moradi

SATIRE
Salam sobh-e shanbeh
Poem
By Hadi Khorsandi

IRANIANS
Requiem for an Idealist

Cartoon
By Mana Neyestani
Persian original
English translation

WMD
Don Quixote’s Iranian bomb

Lies about nuclear bomb making capabilities
By Sharif N. Mafi

EXPRESSION
Op-pen dat societeee, bitch
The thinking couch potato's musical
By Alidad Vassigh

SATIRE
Roadmap to Democracy

From Yaboo maps
By Kabob

SATIRE
Satellite Revolution!
Dude, it's over. People are in the streets...
By Siamack Baniameri

SATIRE
Turning fear into funny

Maz Jobrani: Iranian-born comic/actor
By Sanaz Khalaj

SATIRE
Naagofteh-haaye Aqaba

Middle East peace talks
By Asghar Agha

MIDDLE EAST
Not too shaby
Demise of numerous tasteless archenemies
By Sharif N. Mafi

DIASPORA
Where are you vermin?

Crushing my enemies in my ever-vibrant and busy imagination
By Alidad Vassigh

SATIRE
What a shame
Looting of the oldest "dildo" from Baghdad Museum
By Siamack Baniameri

BABIES
One... two...

“TWINS! I know you're in there... this is your daddy speaking! HELLO! HELLO!”
By Siamack Salari

DIASPORA
Modern maraz
In those days (sigh), all it took to get well was some attention
By Babak Khiavchi

DIASPORA
Heh?
Ability to face life's hardships with fortitude and a banana split
By Alidad Vassigh

SATIRE
Dear Ghazanfar
A mother's letter to his son
By Kouros Behzad

MEDIA
Who had the best war song?
Iraq war news themes
By Behrouz Bahmani

MIDDLE EAST
Club Axis
Enrolling Syria in the world's most exclusive group
By Sharif N. Mafi

WAR
You call this a war?
I wanna see some Iraqi fedayins' guts shoot at the camera and cover Christiane Amonpor's face
By Siamack Baniameri

IRAQ
Khar khodeti

On the latest saga of the British carving of the Middle East
By Farrokh A. Ashtiani

IRAQ
Holy governor

Looking for a job in Iraq
By Linda Ghassemi

APRIL FOOLS
Washington to establish United States of Iran
U.S. appoints James Rubin as governor of Iran
By Fred Goozman

BOY
How to score
Opening my brother-in-law's eyes to the world of girls
By Siamack Salari

LIFE
17, plus tax
It's my birthday
By Niki Tehranchi

AMERICA
Sunset mirage
Too many dates and donkey rides don't mix
By FF

COMEDIAN
Veiled humor
A female Muslim stand-up comic?
By Annika S. Hipple

SATIRE
Interview with an Iranian man
Iranian men have "tendencies"
By Siamack Baniameri

GAME
Korkoree
Takhteh is more than a game for me
By Niki Tehranchi

WAR
Don't call it war
Call it high-intensity weapons inspection
By Bruce Bahmani

WAR
Iraq's quantom leap
Thanks to the U.S.
By Sharif N. Mafi

WAR
Hoop dreams
"Have you given much thought to peace lately?" I ask Michael Jordan
By Moe

PET
Sam's reminder
Pondering mortality
By Siamack Salari

SATIRE
Veiled humor
A female Muslim stand-up comic?
By Annika S. Hipple

MEDIA
Meanwhile in Palestine
I wonder if there are any mediocre bombmakers?
By Sharif N Mafi

IRANIANS
Don't mess with Persians!
A night out with the boys
By Arash Seyedalikhani

HEEH
(Bin) Ladan Alley
Photo essay: Streets of Tehran
By Moe

TRADITION
Zekr-e moseebat
A tradition left behind
By Shahriar Zahedi

AGE
Dar fazilat-e sen-o saal
On the virtues of aging

By Mohammad Ghaed

WAR
Ajab roozegaaree shodeh!
Iraq war: Whom to curse
By Pesare Shoja

OPINION
Vaallaa nafahm bood!
On the anniversary of the revolution

By Pesare Shoja

STUPID
Bad English bad for your health
Iranian passenger on Air Canada busted for poor choice of words
By Asghar Massombagi

THREAT
Evil cheetahs
Cloned Iranian Cheetahs possibly in parts of Alaska? Gasp!
By Sharif N. Mafi

CELEBRITY
Freakumentary
On the life of Michael Jackson
By Shaparak Khorsandi

EVOLUTION
Most stupid race of all
According to a new study, animosity will result in our self-destruction
By Saeed Tavakkol

WORDS
Phonetic Laziness Syndrome
Impatience for foreign words
By Farhad Radmehrian

FIGURE
Cheghadr chaagh shodi!
Most ancient put-down of Iranian ladies
By Niki Tehranchi

IRAQ
Baghdad goodbye party
Essentials celebrate the end of Saddam
By Sharif N. Mafi

POINT
Afternoon tea
It's difficult to feel sad in Barcelona
By Alidad Vassigh

TRIP
Close call
I'm British and no Yankee immigration gimp could ever touch me - right?
By Siammack Salari

SUSPECT
Tokhm-e morgh-haaye qoshoon
Banished to the garrison kitchen
By Mohammad Ghaed

IRANIANS
Deal with it
To az maa behtaraans: You hate it, but you're Iranian too
By Mohsen Shabanian, Toronto

EXPERIMENTAL
Bavaaseer
Audio clip -- 18 and over :)

Sent by Mani

EXPERIMENTAL
Vaaaaaaay!
A song for 18 and over :)

Sent by R.

AMERICA
Sleepless in America
It's no miracle but it's a start
By FF

IRAN
Swish
I'm going to Iran. And I have a severe case of gastritis
By Parissa Sohie

WISODM
Private thoughts
What I learned in the past year
By Siamack Baniameri

 


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